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 Posted: Sat Feb 24, 2007 3:08 pm
Is there ever a point where it's okay to ask a relative to not buy clothes? Whenever my family buys clothes for my son they never ask me what size he wears or what size I think he'll be in soon. They just go out and buy them. He got 3T clothes for his second birthday and they still don't fit him. They did the go out and buy clothes again for this birthday. I love that they do and appreciate it, but would love it if they came to me about sizes.
I was asked as he was opening his clothing present, "He's in 3T now right?"
...No. He's hardly growing into some of the 2T stuff he has. He has a 2T outfit that I got for him on clearance and that doesn't even fit him.
Am I being ungrateful or is there a point where too big is just too big? Is there a polite way to avoid this situation?
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Posted: Mon Feb 26, 2007 10:41 am
Do you think that maybe they're buying ahead??? I have a lot of family & friends who buy too big clothes because you will need them eventually & so why not stock up???
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Posted: Mon Feb 26, 2007 1:50 pm
I realize they're normally buying ahead, but he has pants that I've been storing for a year that still don't fit him. The clothes he got for his birthday were because he was starting school soon. They wanted to get him clothes because they figured he'd need them. As in they expected him to be able to wear them now.
They treat him like he grows like their kids did and he doesn't. He won't. Yet they don't seem to be getting that point. I wouldn't be raising an issue other wise.
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Posted: Tue Feb 27, 2007 12:40 am
Do they leave the tags on and tell you where they bought them from? Maybe you can just exchange them?
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Posted: Tue Feb 27, 2007 5:40 am
No, otherwise I would have exchanged them for a smaller size.
My family is the kind where you're not sure what will deeply offend them and cause them to not talk to you for months on end.
My mom suggested the next time a holiday rolls around to make a list of the sizes he wears and what I think he might be growing into soon.
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Posted: Tue Feb 27, 2007 7:03 am
Hmmm, well, maybe you should just let them know that all his clothes are too big. Don't point fingers though, just say that too many people have been buying way to big of clothes for him & suggest that if they want to buy him clothes, that they buy his size.
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Posted: Tue Feb 27, 2007 8:49 am
You could also talk about how "petite" D is, often, and around birthdays and Christmas. Just bring it up casually. Talk about how YOU bought him 2T clothing that you're still holding on to because "OMG D is so little! Poor thing! I've got so many clothes he'll never EVER grow into I don't know where to store them!! *lament* cough ahem cough!"
But here's the thing, sure it's misguided but I do think that it is important at all times to just smile and nod and say thank you. Gifts of those kind are always bought with the best intentions. If you don't like having them around find a consignment place no matter how small and take them in for credit. It's free clothing you're getting so you'll be okay with just about any credit you get for them, then save up credit and buy other things.
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Posted: Tue Feb 27, 2007 10:00 am
What I do when it comes to gifts is elect a "host/ess" for parties. It can be delicate social ground to go around telling people what to buy for you, but it's much easier when you have a host(ess) who can manage things.
For example, for my birthdays, I elect my husband. His job is to invite everyone, figure out where food is coming from, where we're doing everything, and to communicate with everyone about acceptable gifts. The latter usually involves him letting people know that he can offer suggestions and letting people know if there are certain things he doesn't think I want/need. For his birthdays, I play hostess. For our wedding, it was my mother's job.
Sometimes, just adding a middleperson can really make a difference in how people perceive something.
Since your mom is suggesting things, I assume she knows? Maybe she could be your hostess. She might just get together with some other family members for a shopping trip before the holiday and, when people go for things that are too big, just suggest something a little smaller. It's easier in our family, though, since hosting is an established tradition. So everyone knows to run gift ideas by the host(ess) before buying. It might be more difficult if you are introducing it.
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Posted: Tue Feb 27, 2007 8:47 pm
^_^ Thank you, guys.
We're going to have a family meeting and talk about some of the ideas you guys gave.
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