|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
 Posted: Sat Feb 10, 2007 12:47 am
My mom and I were talking about this a few weeks ago.
What would you do if you knew your fetus was going to have a severe handicap? Would you give birth and keep it, give birth and give it up, or abortion?
For me, I simply cannot decide.
I look at my stomach, which isn't swollen at all yet, and I think so hard. I ask it, "If you were going to have a mental or physical problem, could I get an abortion?"
My feelings are so mixed. I remember in school this one child who had some sort of disorder where he always needed a nurse by his side and he was stuck in a weird sort of wheel chair that he couldn't move at all, I don't even think he could talk. He seemed sort of deformed, which made me so sad to look at him. And I remember kids used to tease him. Of course they did, he was different. It wasn't his fault but he was different.
Now, I know with amniocentesis, you can sometimes get information to find out if your baby will have any problems, along with an ultra sound, of course.
So, I try think what I would do if I got such horrible news. I always think back to that child in 5th or 6th grade, how sad his life was. He would never be able to run and play with the other kids and so many other things.
I don't know if I could raise a child like that, emotionally. I'm not sure. Much less all the medical cost, which is where the adoption comes in. But that seems so bad to me, leaving a child who needs so much to someone else...you can see where I'm torn here.
So, I ask, what are your opinions?
|
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sat Feb 10, 2007 12:26 pm
I really don't know either. I wonder if I would have him or her in the hopes that doctors were wrong or that they would be able to cure whatever the child had in the near future.
Long semi-related story: I had a friend in college who was severely autistic. She was 33 years old. When she was about 18 months the doctors told her parents to just give up on her and put her in a home because she would be a vegetable all her life. They kept her at home thinking she pretty much was a vegetable until her parents saw something on tv about severely autistic people who cannot talk, but can type to communicate. They hired a tutor to teach her to read and type. When she learned, she ended up telling them that she wanted to go to college. They had some trouble getting her in since she had no high school diploma or GED, but they did it. She was a Psychology major. She was very interesting. Her wrists were actually too weak to type on her own. Her mother came to every single class with her, supported her wrist while she typed one letter at a time, raised her hand, and asked her daughter's question aloud. The daughter would ask and answer a lot of questions in class too. Teachers made special tests for her. They gave her all short answer tests instead of multiple choice. Since she does not think exactly like we do, multiple choice was no good for her. In short answer, she could explain it in her words as she understood it.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sun Feb 11, 2007 12:34 am
if i believed i wouldn't be able to financially or emotionally care for the child in the way i believe it deserves, i would likely abort it.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sun Feb 11, 2007 7:24 pm
Jazzberry if i believed i wouldn't be able to financially or emotionally care for the child in the way i believe it deserves, i would likely abort it. If you didn't have the money you would? I mean, if you can't handle the pregnancy(ie, if you were raped and became pregnant)emotionally, I can understand. But financially? The state or county usually can help with things like exams and tests because places like Planned Parenthood offer these services. And when going through adoption, most times the parents who will adopt the child will help with anything they can to make your pregnancy healthy and happy. But if you can't care for the child, you shouldn't abort it, you should let it go for adoption. No one says you have to keep it. That's just how I feel >.< @LorienLlewellyn: That's a wonderful story 3nodding But it makes me even more confused about what I would do. She achieved so much, despite her handicap, but that isn't true for everyone, sadly. Not everyone can do that. So, I can't imagine how I could have an abortion under the decision that the child would have a bad life due to a disability because all I would every think about is how that child could have done so much, just like that woman. Life is hard >.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sun Feb 11, 2007 7:36 pm
LonesLover @LorienLlewellyn: That's a wonderful story 3nodding But it makes me even more confused about what I would do. She achieved so much, despite her handicap, but that isn't true for everyone, sadly. Not everyone can do that. So, I can't imagine how I could have an abortion under the decision that the child would have a bad life due to a disability because all I would every think about is how that child could have done so much, just like that woman. Life is hard >. I know. They had her give speeches that she wrote and her mother read to graduate students who were studying special education. She also counseled other people with autism. She was really interesting. It's tough because no one expected her to do anything at all in her life. Doctors weren't quite right about her and what they expected from her even into adulthood. You just never know. And what if doctors said, "Oh, geez, your baby has ______," and you abort, and two years later ______ is cured. It's a really tough decision, and it is kind of a gamble either way.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Wed Feb 14, 2007 12:59 am
LonesLover Jazzberry if i believed i wouldn't be able to financially or emotionally care for the child in the way i believe it deserves, i would likely abort it. If you didn't have the money you would? I mean, if you can't handle the pregnancy(ie, if you were raped and became pregnant)emotionally, I can understand. But financially? The state or county usually can help with things like exams and tests because places like Planned Parenthood offer these services. And when going through adoption, most times the parents who will adopt the child will help with anything they can to make your pregnancy healthy and happy. But if you can't care for the child, you shouldn't abort it, you should let it go for adoption. No one says you have to keep it. That's just how I feel >.< well, i don't believe in putting children up for adoption, so there we go. n_n''
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Wed Feb 14, 2007 2:59 am
Jazzberry LonesLover Jazzberry if i believed i wouldn't be able to financially or emotionally care for the child in the way i believe it deserves, i would likely abort it. If you didn't have the money you would? I mean, if you can't handle the pregnancy(ie, if you were raped and became pregnant)emotionally, I can understand. But financially? The state or county usually can help with things like exams and tests because places like Planned Parenthood offer these services. And when going through adoption, most times the parents who will adopt the child will help with anything they can to make your pregnancy healthy and happy. But if you can't care for the child, you shouldn't abort it, you should let it go for adoption. No one says you have to keep it. That's just how I feel >.< well, i don't believe in putting children up for adoption, so there we go. n_n'' Why not? There's nothing wrong with adoption. So many people can't have children and it's certainly not their fault. So they rely on adoption. I'm not flaming you or anything, I'm just curious why you don't think adoption is a good option.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Wed Feb 14, 2007 3:02 am
LorienLlewellyn LonesLover @LorienLlewellyn: That's a wonderful story 3nodding But it makes me even more confused about what I would do. She achieved so much, despite her handicap, but that isn't true for everyone, sadly. Not everyone can do that. So, I can't imagine how I could have an abortion under the decision that the child would have a bad life due to a disability because all I would every think about is how that child could have done so much, just like that woman. Life is hard >. I know. They had her give speeches that she wrote and her mother read to graduate students who were studying special education. She also counseled other people with autism. She was really interesting. It's tough because no one expected her to do anything at all in her life. Doctors weren't quite right about her and what they expected from her even into adulthood. You just never know. And what if doctors said, "Oh, geez, your baby has ______," and you abort, and two years later ______ is cured. It's a really tough decision, and it is kind of a gamble either way. I suppose it would depend on the disease as well. At least, for me it might. I just keep thinking about that kid that I knew in school and I want to cry because I felt so bad for him. And then hearing of that woman's success makes me so happy yet more confused >.< But, I think if it were such a severe condition, I may consider abortion if there had been no break thrus in whatever it was and it was a horrible condition. But then again, I have no idea. confused I should bring this up to Mike eventually, like soon. whee
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Thu Feb 15, 2007 12:31 am
LonesLover Jazzberry LonesLover Jazzberry if i believed i wouldn't be able to financially or emotionally care for the child in the way i believe it deserves, i would likely abort it. If you didn't have the money you would? I mean, if you can't handle the pregnancy(ie, if you were raped and became pregnant)emotionally, I can understand. But financially? The state or county usually can help with things like exams and tests because places like Planned Parenthood offer these services. And when going through adoption, most times the parents who will adopt the child will help with anything they can to make your pregnancy healthy and happy. But if you can't care for the child, you shouldn't abort it, you should let it go for adoption. No one says you have to keep it. That's just how I feel >.< well, i don't believe in putting children up for adoption, so there we go. n_n'' Why not? There's nothing wrong with adoption. So many people can't have children and it's certainly not their fault. So they rely on adoption. I'm not flaming you or anything, I'm just curious why you don't think adoption is a good option. well, as it stands, the adoptive system is full enough. there are plenty of children for couples to adopt. but the american system is flawed in that it's extremely hard to navigate and allows racism and ageism. the problem i have with adoption is, for one, that i wouldn't be raising my own child. but for another, i know my baby would be almost instantly snatched up in a private adoption, which to me is essentially selling my healthy, white infant to a couple who wouldn't consider an older, even more needy child.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Thu Feb 15, 2007 4:21 am
Jazzberry LonesLover Jazzberry LonesLover Jazzberry if i believed i wouldn't be able to financially or emotionally care for the child in the way i believe it deserves, i would likely abort it. If you didn't have the money you would? I mean, if you can't handle the pregnancy(ie, if you were raped and became pregnant)emotionally, I can understand. But financially? The state or county usually can help with things like exams and tests because places like Planned Parenthood offer these services. And when going through adoption, most times the parents who will adopt the child will help with anything they can to make your pregnancy healthy and happy. But if you can't care for the child, you shouldn't abort it, you should let it go for adoption. No one says you have to keep it. That's just how I feel >.< well, i don't believe in putting children up for adoption, so there we go. n_n'' Why not? There's nothing wrong with adoption. So many people can't have children and it's certainly not their fault. So they rely on adoption. I'm not flaming you or anything, I'm just curious why you don't think adoption is a good option. well, as it stands, the adoptive system is full enough. there are plenty of children for couples to adopt. but the american system is flawed in that it's extremely hard to navigate and allows racism and ageism. the problem i have with adoption is, for one, that i wouldn't be raising my own child. but for another, i know my baby would be almost instantly snatched up in a private adoption, which to me is essentially selling my healthy, white infant to a couple who wouldn't consider an older, even more needy child. All the same, why destroy that child's life? It could grow up to be someone really important and you'd end that life because you don't like the adoption system?
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Fri Feb 16, 2007 1:16 am
LonesLover Jazzberry LonesLover Jazzberry LonesLover Jazzberry if i believed i wouldn't be able to financially or emotionally care for the child in the way i believe it deserves, i would likely abort it. If you didn't have the money you would? I mean, if you can't handle the pregnancy(ie, if you were raped and became pregnant)emotionally, I can understand. But financially? The state or county usually can help with things like exams and tests because places like Planned Parenthood offer these services. And when going through adoption, most times the parents who will adopt the child will help with anything they can to make your pregnancy healthy and happy. But if you can't care for the child, you shouldn't abort it, you should let it go for adoption. No one says you have to keep it. That's just how I feel >.< well, i don't believe in putting children up for adoption, so there we go. n_n'' Why not? There's nothing wrong with adoption. So many people can't have children and it's certainly not their fault. So they rely on adoption. I'm not flaming you or anything, I'm just curious why you don't think adoption is a good option. well, as it stands, the adoptive system is full enough. there are plenty of children for couples to adopt. but the american system is flawed in that it's extremely hard to navigate and allows racism and ageism. the problem i have with adoption is, for one, that i wouldn't be raising my own child. but for another, i know my baby would be almost instantly snatched up in a private adoption, which to me is essentially selling my healthy, white infant to a couple who wouldn't consider an older, even more needy child. All the same, why destroy that child's life? It could grow up to be someone really important and you'd end that life because you don't like the adoption system? i think the "potential" argument is absolute crap. my child has an equal or greater chance of growing up to be another serial rapist. so i try to steer away from that territory. but yes, i would much rather abort than place any child of mine in the adoptive system at this point in time. abortion doesn't conflict with my morals and spiritual beliefs; putting a child up for adoption kinda does.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Fri Feb 16, 2007 12:21 pm
If the handicap was severe enough, I would probably go the abortion route if it wasn't too late in the pregnancy. I don't believe in bringing a child into the world if it's going to be severely handicapped and have a lesser quality of life due to its handicaps.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Fri Feb 16, 2007 6:12 pm
Nikolita If the handicap was severe enough, I would probably go the abortion route if it wasn't too late in the pregnancy. I don't believe in bringing a child into the world if it's going to be severely handicapped and have a lesser quality of life due to its handicaps. That's kind of how I feel as well. But I guess I just hope and pray it won't come to that.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Thu Feb 22, 2007 9:11 pm
I would abort most things. Down syndrome, spina bifida...
And my answer is simple. I value quality of life over quantity. I want my children to have to absolute best life possible, and being handicapped is not easy. Not on the child or the parent.
Which brings me to my second point: I wouldn't be able to handle a handicapped child. Plain and simple. I don't have children to create a needy being. I don't JUST create children to create life, I create children so they can grow into loving, happy, self-sufficient and intelligent adults, and I can watch that transformation and be a part of their adventure as a person. Severely handicapped kids never have that chance from the beginning.
In the wild, the weak, broken animals are eaten or left to die because they only suck up resources without becoming providing members of society.
I've had first-hand experience seeing how two handicapped children ruined two of my friends lives. These kids were their siblings, and the parents, having no idea how to act with one or two normal kids and a disabled kid, in essence really made life hell for their unhandicapped child. And it makes me very, very sad.
About the only disorders I wouldn't abort are minor things, like hand and foot disfigurements.
Flame away, if you want, but I truly don't care.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Fri Feb 23, 2007 12:12 pm
Savina I would abort most things. Down syndrome, spina bifida... And my answer is simple. I value quality of life over quantity. I want my children to have to absolute best life possible, and being handicapped is not easy. Not on the child or the parent. Which brings me to my second point: I wouldn't be able to handle a handicapped child. Plain and simple. I don't have children to create a needy being. I don't JUST create children to create life, I create children so they can grow into loving, happy, self-sufficient and intelligent adults, and I can watch that transformation and be a part of their adventure as a person. Severely handicapped kids never have that chance from the beginning. In the wild, the weak, broken animals are eaten or left to die because they only suck up resources without becoming providing members of society. I've had first-hand experience seeing how two handicapped children ruined two of my friends lives. These kids were their siblings, and the parents, having no idea how to act with one or two normal kids and a disabled kid, in essence really made life hell for their unhandicapped child. And it makes me very, very sad. About the only disorders I wouldn't abort are minor things, like hand and foot disfigurements. Flame away, if you want, but I truly don't care. My problem is I really don't have that much patience and a special needs child needs so much care...I couldn't handle it. And I feel the same way about alot of the things you do. I'd hate to say this but...I think I'd be a bad parent. I'm thinking now if I had multiples, I don't think I could handle it. I'd end up neglecting one because...I don't know! I feel like I'm going to be such a bad parent >.<
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Reply
