Welcome to Gaia! ::

(this topic has to do with a number of things)

I have very specific tastes when it comes to men.
for some reason I can't bring myself past the fact that I'm generally only attracted to stick thin,
long haired,
pale men.
I've been called shallow,
and then some people have told me I just have high standards.
it's very confusing...
Mind you it's not just looks,
I'm attracted to more personallity,
but seems how looks are the first thing I see,
thats what usually makes me notice them first.

heres the main thing about it though.
most of these men that I am so attracted to are way out of my league.
Every one of them that I have met usually call me fat,
ugly,
hideous...
and so on.
I'm only 195 lbs,
but seems how I'm so short I feel so much larger.
I can't stand to look in the mirror anymore.
One guy told me I was so ugly it looked like a dog s**t on my face.

so basically,
I've come to accept that I'll never get my ideal guy.
or am I just being too pessimistic?
I've been told to give up,
and at first I refused,
but most of my "ideals" will never like someone fat like me.
should I keep looking or just give up already? D:

(this is something that always depresses me...
I'm constantly lonely,
shunned and so on.
I just don't know how to feel anymore)

posted in the pics thread.
the one where the guy said something bad about me is the first one I believe.

thank you. smile
I've had it pounded in my head ever since I started school that I was fat and fat= ugly and ugly= lonely life. sweatdrop ( I only believe this about myself)
I've come to believe it because it's been going on since I was 5.
I'm extremely insecure so yeah. sweatdrop
I really don't know why I'm attracted to such people,
but I am. gonk
it could be the whole metal thing but I doubt it.
long haired skinny men are attractive to me thats all there is to it. gonk

And here! To make you feel loved have some love sent from my special orange bear.. (Lame I know.. But.. He's so cute!)

Well we all have types we're attracted to. I'm very attracted to guys with noticably unusual eyes, especially those man enough to wear eyeliner which means most of the time I dig very gothy or emo looking fellows. Size hasn't ever been an issue with me I like 'em any way really, and personality is a huge factor. I would say THE most important.

Now a few things...

People can tell when you have low self esteem. It's one of those things that shows up in someone's personality. It can be hard to love someone, when they do not love themselves. It is also something that people, especially in high school, will single out and prey on. People can be ugly that way.

I personally see nothing wrong with the way you look. I think you're very pretty young lady and I like the nose ring. However, what I say or what anyone else says doesn't matter. It's how you feel. You cannot expect everyone will find you beautiful, nor can you expect everyone will not find you beautiful. It's why you just have to know that you are beautiful and love what is unique about you.

And if this helps... in high school I thought I was never going to find somene who wanted to date me. Not that it mattered much because uneducated southern hicks aren't my type. Those few who were seemed to be attracted to a certain type. Never have been I 110 lbs soaking wet, bottle blonde or so darkly tanned my skin looks like leather. As far back as I can remember I've been big, pale and colored my hair less conventional colors. In such a small population, of the same mindset... dating in high school was very limited.

College is something different. I moved to a big city, and I still get asked for my number a good once every two weeks. I have a fiance and a very complicated friend issue. If I lacked for love and interest when I was 17 I do not lack for it now at 23. Point being, you cannot let other people's opinions shape your view of yourself. People will like you for who you are if you let them, and others aren't worth your time.

Everybody needs to have standards. You can't control what you like, and there's nothing wrong with pursuing desire.

Also remember, just because people have standards, that doesn't mean that there's some specific range of guys you can "get". Appearance is not a numerical value, it's a combination of traits. One person's nine may be another person's three. You don't need to need to settle for something less than your ideal, just find a tall, skinny, long-haired guy who likes short, 195 pound women.

I, personally, taught myself as a tall, thin, long-haired guy, although I'm not exactly stick-thin, and I had to cut my hair shorter recently.

Take heart. I have frequented dimensions and pawg and other places on the internet, and there are many a tall, thin, long-haired manstuff FA seeking a girl. =3

♠Hmm....Well, nothing against you, but you're not my type, so I can't give a positive opinion on this situation.♠

Not to be rude, and I'm sure it's none of my business... But why would she have to be your type for you to give her any advice? I realize you said opinion, but I don't think she's wanting you to judge how attractive she is and tell her that the guy is an idiot (which he is for saying something like that... and she might appreciate) so much as give helpful input from your point of view... perhaps why a guy might say something like that, what positive features she has, etc?

Sorry, it's just a pet peeve of mine. When I was fighting hard to get confidence I had people tell me things like that... telling the person they aren't your type generally doesn't make them feel any better--even if you say "with all due respect/ sorry but/ nothing against you". I felt like crap after I heard that. I can't speak for her, but I just know how I reacted to that in the past.