|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
 Posted: Tue Jan 23, 2007 3:17 pm
FRIEND
Silently it takes me away
To a place where my dreams
Shatters the light
As the hellish voices arise
Filling the air with screams of fear
In a distant land of fairytales
Where demons of the night
Running with fright
And filled with delight
At the sicking sight
Of the hate filled shadows
Searching for life
In my nightmare land
That I created
Because all I want
Is a dear friend to play
And sing and dance the lonely night away
In my twisted land of fairytales
That I cannot escape
No matter how hard I try
Because all I wanted
Is something that I
Could truly call my friend
Lost in the realm of the shadow
By Kraven
~INVY~
Please tell me you thoughts on it.
|
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Thu Jan 25, 2007 6:02 am
I like it. I think that it could flow a little bit better, but the emotion is right there. The message is clear that the poem was trying to state, at least in my opinion. I like it. It shows the magnitude of a mistake. Makes me think of how we sometimes change ourselves to make friends and then get lost from who we really are.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Tue Feb 06, 2007 5:18 pm
I like it a lot. There is a lot of emotion -- you expressed the feelings really well. Parts of it were a little obscure, but I think you were probably going for that. It makes you realize how important having a good friend can be.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Reply
