Welcome to Gaia! ::

I don't know why I feel compelled to write this...but I will anyway. I'm going through a lot of junk right now (as most of you know) involving going home, my schooling, and this one guy who I happen to love who isn't talking to me anymore...yet throughout all that and going through some major mountains in my faith I was just able to witness to someone. She's been claiming Christianity for a long time, one of my good friends, but she's been going through really hard times. Anyway, she was telling me about how she got drunk the other night (drinking is one of my pet peeves) so I get my friend and "gang up" on her about her drinking. She started crying saying she might as well destroy her life which is when I brought in some teachings from Psalm 16 to her. She's doing a lot better now that I went through it with her, but I'm not sure if she'll do what I asked her to and have a personal prayer session without disruption.
The other day I told one of my other friends who's a part of a good church-going family that she needs to get her life back on track. She's going through some scares, just graduated and having that "What do I do with my life?" moment. She was even afraid she was pregnant (she's not) and is just truly lost. So I sent a mass email I wrote to people to her, talking about prayer. Later that day I got an email back from her telling me thank you.
I guess the reason I'm writing this is because I'm kinda confused. My life is going so terribly right now. It seems that no matter how hard I pray, how I pray, what I pray for, or how much I grow I will never be given the better life that is promised to me in the Bible. Sure, I know I'll go to Heaven if I stay close, but doesn't the Bible also teach that your earthly life will be good as well (despite trials and tribulations)? I'm just kinda hurt right now. I'm trying so hard to become more like Christ, trying to be the person I should be and waiting for God to reveal what He wants me to do...yet I'm stuck here hurting and waiting to go home. That's all I can do is sit and wait. Yet it feels like I'm wasting my life. Like I should be doing something like working or hanging out with friends. But I can't get a job here, I don't have any friends in town, and I'm pretty much not allowed to go to church as long as I'm here (you see why I wanna go home?).
So I guess what I'm wondering is why I'm not allowed to be granted some things when everyone else around me is being blessed. Why am I blessed with trials instead of with my relationship? Why am I blessed with having to put up with the sins of this household instead of going home where I grow more in Christ? Why are all my friends doing better than me when they're straying while I'm struggling to stay with the Lord despite Him pushing me to stay here, be lonely, want my ex back, and having to drop out of school if I don't go home? I don't get it. What did I do wrong? Nothing that I know of that deserves this punishment. (well...you know what i mean I hope) I've went through it in my head, debating why I could be here, what I'm supposed to do. But in the end I see nothing. Nothing as important as the things that I could be doing if I were home. So am I just one of those unlucky people who gets nothing when they're devote to the Lord or will I ever be able to have the life I once had back? As good as it feels to lead others to Christ I kinda wanna be back home while leading them (actually, more people would listen to me if I was home, they all think I'm a bad person and that I'm not wanted since I'm not home). Why am I stuck?

please just remember, time is relative, although it seems like a long time, you are 16(I think sweatdrop ) 1 year is 1 16th of your life, quite a high factor, but someone who is 30, 1 year is only 1 30th of their life. so as i keep saying, remember Job, although time is relative, it will always feel longer when you have a bad time, so just hang in there, your time should pass soon, or at least, I hope it does, for your sake.

If i may ask.... where are you that you can't go home? Not geographically, just like, are you at a step-parents home or boarding school or what?

Don't try and hold on to your treasures on earth. Men are dust, and treasures rot. Only God and our spirits are eternal.

Heh, my ex always told me to keep smiling cuz someone may be falling in love with it. smile

WHICH ONE?! I want so badly to go home and have my ex back...gah! I feel bad for asking God all the time too...

God blesses His children. Although it may seem as if the world is a dark and horrible place but God has a purpose for your life. Don't lose faith. God will watch over you. Who knows you may end up bring more people to Christ while you are there. I will pray for you though sister. heart

Even though some people seem like they're fine, everyone goes through something that blocks them from getting closer to God. We all struggle with that in our daily lives. I believe that just as a marriage or any relationship, the key is communication... but how many times do people from your church get together and seriously crack down on the issues that are affecting the lives of God's children? Durgs. Violence. Sex. Gamling. Porn.

All of these things are obstacles that some of us have problems with. If noone talks about it where can we gain our support? We need to have someone with us who can help bring us out of it.

Like I said before. The key is communication. 3nodding