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 Posted: Thu Jan 11, 2007 1:31 pm
 Fedha yawned as he stretched out of his curled up position. He was large now, tall and skinny but muscely, which was a nice change from the pudge he'd been carrying around. He still didn't know what to do with himself, not after Ausi had basically told him she didn't want him around anymore... well he didn't know if that was true, but he would show her. She thought she wanted him gone than she could see how it was with him gone for so long. It wasn't his fault she tried to challenge him. Okay, maybe it was.. he'd done something terrible to her. It was his fault, mostly. But who could control lusts like that? He certainly couldn't. Thinking about it made him sick to his stomach, so he shut his eyes and shook his head a little, letting the mane get out of his eyes.
He rose and stretched more, then began walking through the prideland's outer edges. Why he kept coming back here he wasn't sure, really.
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Posted: Thu Jan 11, 2007 1:36 pm
She was not mistaken. She had smelt his scent!
Ivie stretched her lengthening form, the strange green fur pale under the sun as she pushed herself up and bounded in the direction she knew him to be.
Oh Fedha'kialio! Her heart sung and his name rolled off her tongue each time she spoke it. She had come to the conclusion in the last few days that her feelings for him were stronger than just friendship.
It had to be love!
When he wasn't around she felt so unhappy that she just wanted to end it all and then when he was around she felt more alive than ever before. He understood her, he cared bout her. He had to love her too! That was the way things worked!
Still new to adolescence, Ivie bounded forwards with a streng feminine grace. And when he came into view her heart skipped a beat.
"Fedha'Kialio! Oh I'm so glad to see you!" She smirked, waiting to see the surprise on his face as he noticed her.
She had grown.
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Posted: Thu Jan 11, 2007 1:43 pm
Fedha's eyes flickered over the grasses and landed on a pale green female. It took him a moment because his mind was misbehaving. He could never really mistake Ivie for any other lion, really. She was green, that's hard to confuse. "Ivie'lingwa." He bowed his head, letting a slow smile slide onto his maw. "My you're certainly far from the little runt you were when we first met." He purred out, letting his paws take him slowly over to her. Yes, this was just what he needed right now. Fawning over!
"How have you been darling?" He was terrible, he didn't know why he toyed with her so... he just knew he'd caught another seer in his net and he wanted to keep her there forever.
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Posted: Thu Jan 11, 2007 1:46 pm
Oh my Gosh! This was it! This was the day! The day that she found herself true love.
She practically danced over to him, pausing before him and extending her neck so that her nose almost touched his. Almost.
"You noticed?" Her voice was little more than a happy squeak. "I've been thinking about you so much lately. I'm glad you're here. I have news! I'm going to journey and find my mother, she left a while back. I thought I wanted to stay here, but I don't. I wanted to wait for you to tell you where I was going though."
She smiled.
"Fedha'Kialio...you will still come visit me, won't you?"
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Posted: Thu Jan 11, 2007 1:51 pm
It took some will power for him not to jerk his head back away from hers. He just gave a weak smile. "Looking for your mother? Interesting... where do you think you'll find her?" He wondered if he should speak about his mothers. One was dead and the other... well he didn't know where she was.
Fedha blinked and sat down, which also brought him a little bit away from her. His tail curled around him. "Well I could visit you.. but if you are journying around how can I do that?" He quirked one brow, letting a teasing tone slip into his voice.
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Posted: Thu Jan 11, 2007 1:56 pm
"Well I know roughly where I'm going. I met a cub who said he thinks they headed towards the sea." She sighed wistfully, "oh I've always wanted to see it! Now I might get the chance!" She bounced slightly on her paws and then sat down.
Fedha didn't have to worry about being randomly pounced by her. She was afraid of touching him as she was of everyone else, him especially! She did not want to see his past or his future, there was something about it that made her afraid.
"But that's not all I wanted to tell you..." She trailed off, the sound of her heart filling her ears.
How could she possibly say this!? It was too hard!
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Posted: Thu Jan 11, 2007 2:02 pm
The sea... something to do with water? He wasn't really sure. It made him hate himself when he lacked knowledge about something. He'd never been to the sea though, or heard much about it. He just had a vague idea that it had to do with water. Something Ausi would like.
He blinked and curiousity flickered across his face, but he quickly schooled his expression. "Something else?" He said slowly, his eyebrows rising. She was acting a bit more excitable than before. Perhaps it was just her new growth?
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Posted: Fri Jan 12, 2007 11:04 am
"Umm....yes." She let her eyes dart sideways, focusing on a random rock that lay not too far away. What would happen if she told him? Would he hate her? Love her? Would he not want to see her again?
Her heart constricted but as she turned to gaze into his eyes she knew she had to say something. If she didn't now she might never get another chance. Ever!
"Well...it has something to do with you...you and me."
She swallowed and a lump formed in her throat. "I realised something a while back...something that I always knew but didn't recognise." She swallowed again, her tongue suddenly dry. "Fedha'Kialio..."
Her legs felt like jelly.
"I...love you."
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Posted: Fri Jan 12, 2007 8:36 pm
Fedha wanted to tell her to spit it out, to not act so nervous. But he schooled his tongue and stayed quiet. Why wouldn't she get to the point?
About she and him? His face grew stoney and slowly slipped into a calm. He felt it was best to approach what may or may not be coming with no expression what so ever.
His stomach did a flop when she said that, guilt he thought... and then... nothing? Complete nothingness. A vague sense of puzzliment that was swept away in the nothingness. Nothing went through his mind and everything seemed to surpress inside of him. He did not love, nor would he ever love, Ivie.
He stared at her for several minutes, not knowing what to say. This was the first time he'd ever been told he was loved by a female not related to him (to his knowledge) and it meant nothing. Though slowly guilt was seeping in... and Ausi? Yes Ausi was the only thing taking up his mind and he wished it would all just move back to nothingness.
"What?" He said, his voice hard and cold. His game was over, no longer could he be flirty or teasing toward Ivie. Not right now, anyways.
"What do you mean.. you don't love me." He spoke it as utmost truth, it was truly what he believed because he wanted to believe it. He didn't want Ivie loving him so in his mind she didn't.
"I mean..." He breathed, trailing off. Fix the situation, get back in control. That was what he needed. "Ivie my mom is dead.." He said, surprising even himself. This was not winning the conversation back in his favor, this was not putting anything back in his control.
He hadn't really admitted this outloud, and that hurt more than anything, really. Knowing that he would and could not ever love Ivie back... that did not hurt him. Knowing he would ultimately hurt her... that did not hurt him.
His mother was dead. Ausi was sick of him. Ausi miscarried his child. His. That all hurt. Ivie did not hurt him, could not hurt him. s**t, s**t, s**t! He needed to get his thoughts back into place. He needed to fix this quick. "What I mean to say is... this isn't the best time for you to be admitting this.." Yes, he could pretend it never happened.
He was emotionless. He was a stone. He wanted to be these things, but never could he be these things. Some parts of him wanted to tell Ivie she was a naive little child.. he wanted to hurt her because he was feeling hurt. She didn't cause this hurt but he still wanted to transfer it. He wouldn't, but that was what he wanted.
All those things lions talked about behind his back, being cruel and selfish and bad... they were true. He'd never admit it, but they were.
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Posted: Sun Jan 14, 2007 9:44 am
Her chest heaved as she supressed the sobs within, those green eyes welling with tears even as he spoke. She loved him! She loved him! Didn't that mean he was supposed to love her back!? Her heart felt as if it had been crushed and as she struggled to calm her breathing she knew life would never be worth living again.
However. as his words sank in Ivie slowly began to realise that Fedha hadn't actually said he didn't love her. Maybe, just maybe, he was one of those lions who found it hard to admit what he was feeling?
Hope swelled in her, enough so that she was able to truly understand what else he had said.
His mother was dead?
"Oh..." She looked at him with sympathy swirling in her teary eyes. "Fedha'kialio...I'm so sorry. I-I didn't know." Well of course she hadn't! The grey lion had never told her much of anything about himself. "Is there....is there anything I can do?" She hated herself then for being too afraid to nuzzle him or offer any other sort of comforting, physical contact. She was useless.
She realised then that she probably wouldn't ever be able to get close to anyone. Even if there was someone for her to love if Fedha never wanted to be with her. She would never be able to appreciate the close contact that most couples could. She had hoped that with Fedha being a seer too that somehow he might be able to fend off her powers so...
Well it was no use thinking of that now. Not when the love of her life was in pain.
"I don't know what to say...other than that your mother will always be with you. Forever. She lives in you, she's a part of you. She'd be proud you, I know it."
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Posted: Thu Jan 18, 2007 3:16 am
He wanted to claw at his ear drums; he hated the sound of crying. Sobbing. Anything to do with water leaking out of your eyes, it made him completely uncomfortable. "No... I know you didn't know.." He murmered. Was there anything she could do? Ah this could get him out of it. "I kind of just want to be alone for a little while Ivie'lingwa." He breathed out, staring at her paws.
Yeah, his mom would really be proud of the lion he'd became today.
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Posted: Thu Jan 18, 2007 10:32 am
She stood there looking at him and thought her heart would break. Not from his lack of a response to her declaration, but because he hurt and she could not ease the pain.
"Fedha'Kialio..." She wanted to say something, she just didn't know what! What would her mother have said in this situation? Smile and give courage? Somethign along those lines she was sure.
So with all the happiness she could muster she gave him her nicest smile and moved a little closer. "There is good in you Fedha'Kialio and strength too. I've seen it inside you and I admire it. You are special, you are powerful, you have the abilities to become the greatest seer of all time. I have faith that your life will be a good one and your mother will always be there by your side."
Her ears drooped and her voice lowered a little, "and so will I..." Then with her smile unfaltering she continued, "I will always be here for you through the bad and the good times. I won't judge you and I will never hate you. I have nothing but love in my heart for you and that won't change. I may be leaving now but I know we will meet again. I know it."
Then with that she did the most courageous thing she had ever done in her life. She reached forth and pressed her forehead against his shoulder.
Nothing.
Just warm, soft fur beneath hers. The feeling of touch was so rare to Ivie, so wonderful that she never wanted it to end. And yet what seemed to last a life-time was only the briefest second.
For as she pulled away she saw an image that filled her head with questions.
A lioness whose pelt was black and red.
A lioness she did not know.
"Goodbye Fedha'Kialio." She spoke for the last time. It was hard to say goodbye to the one she so desperately loved, but it would be harder still to learn she would never have him.
She would always belong to Fedha, but he was not hers. And never would be.
She walked away and did not look back, in fear that doing so would nail her to the spot.
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