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 Posted: Tue Jan 09, 2007 1:04 pm
As Nzinga eased slowly back into wakefulness, memories of what had happened did not surface immediately. Before her brain had fully turned itself back on, she knew only a vague sense of happiness, and she smiled softly with her eyes closed. Then behind her eyelids, scenes from her most recent memories played before her like a film - what she had done, what she had never thought she would allow herself to do.
Strangely enough, she wasn't angry at herself..perhaps that would come later? Now, though, she was only feeling very vulnerable and a little afraid.
She opened her yellow eyes apprehensively to see if her companion was still there. She wouldn't be suprised if he had disapeared, it was almost what she expected. But she was also fearful of what she would find.
But he wasn't gone. She saw a glimpse of blue, striped fur that was not her own, and shut her eyes tight again. While a part of her was relieved he had not fled - she would have been so ashamed of herself - she had no idea how to act towards him now. So she kept her eyes closed, still pretending to sleep, hoping he would initiate conversation and guide her in how she was supposed to act after what they had done.
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Posted: Tue Jan 09, 2007 1:17 pm
Vian was not a deep sleeper like his sister or some of his brothers. On the contrary, when Nzinga stirred he felt himself wake slightly. He felt the blanket of darkness over his mind slowly lift and she shifted, letting his gold eyes slide open. He moved enough so that he could lift his head, glancing over at the lioness at his side. Many a thought passed through his head as he looked at her, but regret was not one of them. He let his gaze trail out to the landscape. He would not leave without notice and he would not wake her. Let her sleep if she was still tired. She deserved a rest.
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Posted: Tue Jan 09, 2007 1:22 pm
She sensed his movements and felt that it was safe to reveal her wakefulness. Her eyes opened and slowly she picked her head up, at first not daring to look at his face. When she finally was able to lift her eyes up to him, a shy, hesitant smile graced her countenance. An expression that asked for acceptance. How would he react to her now? Would he be a different person? He had been such a gentleman; she hoped he was not the kind of male who turned ugly after they got what they wanted.
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Posted: Tue Jan 09, 2007 1:32 pm
Vian offered her a reassuring smile, his gaze soft as he looked over at her. "Did you sleep well...?" he questioned softly, his tone low to match the coolness and quite of the morning air. He hoped he hadn't woken her. They both had been so tired when the had gone to rest last night. Or at least, he knew he had been. There was no new strange face, no change in personality. He was the same lion as the night before...if a little groggier.
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Posted: Tue Jan 09, 2007 1:39 pm
His reassuring smile worked; her smile grew and her closed her eyes, purring. "Very well," she answered. For a moment she realized the paradox of her situation: Vian was at once a stranger to her, and the closest to her that any male had ever been to her. She shook her head; it didn't matter. She just wanted to revel in this moment, happy and calm, and not spoil it with thinking.
The only thing she could think of doing was scooting closer to him and nuzzling his neck. So she did.
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Posted: Tue Jan 09, 2007 1:52 pm
Vian leaned slightly into her touch nuzzling slightly against the top of her head. Her smell was charming, just as it had been last night which only led him to smile. Memories of last night only made him feel pleasently warm inside. Life was too short...and there was nothing wrong with chasing a little romance. Instict was one thing, but attraction was another. He liked Nzinga quite a bit, despite how brief their meeting might have been.
"I'm glad," he murmured in a low, rumbling tone of affection.
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Posted: Tue Jan 09, 2007 1:59 pm
Nzinga reveled in his affection. It was like finding an oasis after a lifetime in the desert. She loved feeling loved.
That thought made her stop. Was this love? More importantly, was this something lasting and forever? Deep in her heart, she wished it to be one of those perfect, fairy-tale romances, happily ever after, and all that. Her sharply realistic, adult self, however, put a halt to those thoughts. She didn't know how long this would last, but right now she wanted to know what it was like to have someone care about you. Every sense of him and his affection, she made careful note of. She locked those memories away for safekeeping for a time in the uncertain future, when she may be alone again.
Nzinga sat silently with her eyes closed, wishing time would stop.
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Posted: Tue Jan 09, 2007 2:11 pm
Vian noticed her pause, and peered half open eyes down at her from an angle. He rubbed his cheek gently against her fur, though it held a little more distance, in case she was upset. "Is something wrong...?" He questioned carefully, hoping he wasn't stepping on eggshells or any such thing. He surely didn't want to give her any cause of grief. And he sensed something was...troubling her. Something was on her mind.
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Posted: Tue Jan 09, 2007 2:23 pm
Nzinga was suprised at Vian's ability to sense when there was turbulence in her mind. It made her all the more grateful, and attatched, to him. While she was glad he cared enought to ask about her, she wasn't sure she wanted to breach the subject of the permanence their relationship just yet. Didn't want to put pressure on him to stay with her, if that was not his intent.
Still, she didn't want to think she was upset with him. "I'm simply thinking," she answered. "About...the future."
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Posted: Tue Jan 09, 2007 2:31 pm
Vian let his eyes open a little more so he could see her better. He felt guilt twist in his gut. She realized what she was talking about. It wasn't that he wanted to leave her really it was just...he had to find his sister. He couldn't settle down, couldn't stop until he found out for sure she was alright. He let out a small breath, his smile sad, "...I see." He shifted, so he could face her more fully, "Want to...talk about it...?" They had to eventually.
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Posted: Tue Jan 09, 2007 2:52 pm
Nzinga knew, she could feel it in the way he looked at her, that he was about to break her heart. It was what she had expected. It hurt anyway.
"I don't want to ruin the moment like this." But she already had, it seemed. They might as well talk about it.
Don't cry, she told herself sternly. Don't you dare start to cry!
"I know what you're going to say," she said quietly, not looking at him. "It's..it's alright. I am not mad."
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Posted: Tue Jan 09, 2007 2:56 pm
Vian sighed. He had made a mistake. How could he have thought it fair to do that to her, when she clearly expressed she was lonely and had trouble trusting others or getting to know them? This was the last thing she needed. And yet...he couldn't bring himself to lie and say he'd stay. He couldn't. Ada was more important then anything to him and his brothers. That hadn't changed and it wouldn't. "I'm sorry. I've been horribly unfair to you," he murmured, his eyes sad, but his voice calm and heavy with guilt. "I have to find my sister. It's no excuse, but I can't change that."
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Posted: Tue Jan 09, 2007 3:13 pm
Nzinga shut her eyes tightly and looked away, hiding the few tears that had sprung to her eyes despite her best efforts at keeping them away. Vian was so thoughtful and gentlmanly even in this. Her heart attached itself to him even though he was leaving.
When she was sure the floodgate of tears had been securely shut, she opened her eyes again and looked at him, trying a wobbly smile. "I understand, really...I do. Finding your sister is more important. Don't worry about me. I'll be alright on my own. I always have been." She tried to make herself believe the words even as she said them. It almost worked.
It took her a quite a bit of courage to get out her next words. "If...if you do find your sister, some time in the future...and by some chance, maybe...if you still feel like you do about me, assuming you feel strongly about me now...I only ask...will you come back to find me?"
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Posted: Wed Jan 10, 2007 3:09 pm
Vian was a little surprised at her question, especially since she had taken a defensive stance to the matter of him leaving with 'I'll be alright'. But it was far from being one he couldn't answer. In fact, he almost felt as if the answer was obvious. He was a little to rational to believe in love at first sight, but there was chemistry here with her, he knew. If it hadn't been for his sister, he would have liked to explore those feelings further to see where it led them.
"Will you be here?" He questioned, "So I may find you?" It was his answer, plain and simple.
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Posted: Wed Jan 10, 2007 3:19 pm
Nzinga had always wandered to where it pleased her. And she wouldn't promise to stay put for him; even though she didn't plan on leaving this area in the immediate future, who knows when she might find some place better? She followed the river.
"You'll be able to find me," she said simply. "If finding me is what you want." If it's meant to be.
If he could find his long-lost sister, he should be able to find her. This was the only bitterness she would allow herself to show. She had given up her independance briefly for him, and was now trying to show him that she had reclaimed it.
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