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Chapter One
Beginnings

Rowan Varouna and his wife, Deliah always traveled through the Daylight Forest this time in the year. Everyone in the empire was commanded to pay respects to her ladyship, the Matriarch every year on her birthday. And every year the Matriarch had her subjects counted to make sure that everyone was in attendance. If a subject was late, or was not accounted for, then that person suffered severe punishment. Unless of course they were already dead, which would account for their not being present.
The day was growing steadily late and the Hicimous trees were loosing their glow. The Daylight Forest was steadily growing darker. Rowan slowed his gait to a stop and stretched his arms out as he yawned. He looked around him and found a nice patch of mossy grass that his wife and he could sleep on for the night. The daylight forest was always bright and sunny, even though the sun had gone down; the trees still retained their bright glow from being saturated by the sun’s rays all day long. As Deliah curled up onto the makeshift bed her husband had made for her she lay on her back peering up at the Forest’s roof, staring at the few stars that managed to evade the tree’s leaves and branches. Rowan cuddled up next to her, relieved to finally be able to be off his feet. He leaned over to kiss her goodnight but stopped when he saw the look on his wife’s face.

“Rowan,” she barely breathed, horrified “something just flew over the trees.”

Rowan’s brow wrinkled, as he looked up to the Forest’s cover.

“Are you sure?” he asked her.

“Yes, I was looking at the stars when all of a sudden they all winked out at the same time.”

“All of them?” he asked doubted “My dear, there is nothing that big that could have flown over and blotted out all of the stars above us. You are tired from the long day. It was just your eyes playing tricks.”

“No, Rowan I really did see something.”

“Well whatever it was darling, it is gone now, right?”

“But Rowan, what if it is a dragon? You’ve heard the stories.”

Rowan tilted his head to the Forest’s canopy once more and shook his head.

“Deliah, it could not possibly be a dragon. Because you are right, I have heard the stories and the stories say that dragons were all killed off before our grandfathers were even born.”

“But I really did…” Deliah started, but was cut off as a cry echoed through the night.

“That sounds like a baby.” Deliah stated.

“Yes, of course it does” said Rowan “thousands of people travel to the Matriarch’s castle every year to pay homage and celebrate her birthday. We cannot be the only people who cut through the Daylight Forest to get there. Another couple must be out in the forest with their child.”

“Yes, of course.” Deliah said with a smile.

The couple put their heads back on their blankets and tried to ignore the wailing sound coming from the baby. They tried counting numbers, they tried stuffing moss into their ears, but nothing would keep out the noise of the weeping child. The baby’s crying went on into the night and did not let up, not even for a moment.

Rowan rolled his eyes and sat up in bed. “That is it Deliah, I cannot stand that howling for one more minute!” he shouted. “I am going over there and telling those people what I think of their parenting skills. How irresponsible, to let a child cry on into the night! Why, the child might loose its breath, or burst a blood vessel.”

“Well, I am going with you, Rowan. I don’t think I would like to stay here by myself.” Said Deliah.

Rowan nodded his agreement and started stuffing their blanket into his pack. They both started off walking in the direction of the crying baby. Rowan was concentrating on what he was going to tell the irresponsible parents when they reached their campsite. He grinned as a few choice words ran through his mind. Suddenly they were there. The crying was the loudest from where they were standing, but there was no campsite. There were no parents. There was no baby. And yet the crying went on and on. Confused, Rowan scratched his head, and quickly began scanning the brush with his eyes, they could be hiding.

Deliah startled him as she tugged on his shirt. He looked at her with a questioning look, but all she did was point up. He followed the line of her finger and gasped. The crying was coming from the top of the Hicimous tree they were standing in front of.

“Tail feathers!” he said “Who would leave a baby in a tree?”

Deliah was going to say something, but Rowan was franticly taking off his pack.

He grabbed the nearest tree branch and hoisted himself up. He continued to climb up the tree and stopped short. The baby had stopped crying. All sorts of terrible images went through his mind as he continued to climb. Did the baby fall? Did it run out of air from crying? He paused. Did it actually burst a blood vessel? He picked up his pace, desperate to find the child in time. A few branches broke from under him with sparks flying off into the night air as the light left their broken bark and he almost fell, but kept on climbing.

He climbed and climbed until the branches were too small to support his weight, and he became disheartened as he thought he might have to stop and give up on the child. But then he heard a sniffling coming from a branch up to his right and he squinted in the low light to try and make out where the noise was coming from. The baby sniffed again and he saw a bundle of white cloth hanging haphazardly from a small tree branch. The branch broke just as he was reaching for the cloth. He franticly snatched for the white cloth as the baby fell. The baby whimpered inside the cloth, as he brought it to his chest.

Rowan tucked the blanket wrapped baby into his shirt and slowly started his decent down the tree.

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If you like... I will post more.

Chapter Three
New Surroundings

Anya’s heart pounded so hard, she though it would pop right out of her chest. The wagon pulled up to a tall metal gate and the driver pulled up the reigns on the horses. The gate was the only visible way through a wisteria covered wall that stretched as far as she could see. She peered through the gate as the driver sat, waiting for something. She didn’t know what.

While she was waiting, Anya felt a slight pressure that she could only describe as probing on the outskirts of her mind. She was in no mood for a headache, so she shut her mind to the feeling. It vanished. The gates slowly started opening, the wisteria moving aside as if it were alive, but she heard no sound from the gate’s hinges. When the the gate was open wide enough the driver urged the horses through and Anya stared wide eyed at the enchanting scene in front of her.

A long, winding, marble road spread out before her. Tall, luminescent Hicumous trees lined the road and waved a welcome to her in the breeze. Long grassy hills and dunes spread out from behind the trees and children of all shapes, sizes and colors played ball in the road, or on the grass. When the schools came into view Anya reminded herself to breathe. Buildings almost as big as the Matriarch’s castle towered over the trees in superiority. As they continued down the marble road Anya could count four such citadels in the foreground, and at least two more behind. One citadel was considerably larger than the other six and stood proudly in the center, white stone walls shimmering in the fading light. Each building had its own colored flag which flew from the top most towers. Many smaller flags of the same type flew from miscellaneous windows and doorways. The citadel in the center bore a blank, white flag that was larger than all the others.

As they headed for the main citadel Anya noticed that most of the windows on the other buildings were open and she could hear the instructors speaking, or the students answering as the wagon passed. In one building they passed she looked through the window to see young girls lined up in a septet. Their voices filled the room and spilled out the window into her ears. She had never heard anything more beautiful as the girls voices sang.

Father of mine, dry your eyes.
Mother of mine, please don’t cry.
I’ll return soon, close to your heart.
But for now I must away,
Away to the schools.
Where I’ll become a lady.
Away to the schools.
No longer a child.

The song faded as Anya approached the main citadel. How appropriate, she thought. She sang it in her head until they were at the front steps of the main building. The driver stopped the wagon and climbed out. Anya jumped out of the wagon, not waiting for the driver to help her out. He unloaded her bags and deposited them by her feet. Anya was still staring up at the expanse of the citadel as the driver drove off and she suddenly felt that she was all alone.

Anya tentatively started to ascend the white stone stairs. She looked back at her bags and was wondering how she was going to carry them up the stairs all by herself, when a small boy dressed in one of the other citadel’s colors appeared from around the corner and picked up all her bags with one heave.

“Don’t worry about the bags, miss.” The boy said, seeing the troubled look in her face. “I know where you’re stayin’ and I’ll get im’ there safe.”

The boy nodded his head to her in farewell, turned around and started up the stairs at a brisk, well memorized stride. Anya was alone again as she started after the boy up the pallid stairs. She was so enthralled by her surroundings she was at the top in no time, staring at the white gold arch that contained two half-arch doors twice as tall as a grown man.

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This is actually just part of the chapter. More to come soon, I hope...

I skimmed through it, will post more later, it is late and I just wanted to boast about how I seem to have started a trend for posting stories! Go Demon!

The dialogue is a bit choppy and rigid, will post more tomorrow.

the Demon

You definately need to post more, though I will never understand why people believe that peasants in a fantasy world would speak highly proper English is beyond me. It does make for easier reading I guess, ah well.

Not much to really change, the characters were believable enough, I like Rowan, so far he's pretty funny.

There wasn't as much to comment on as I thought, therefore, you need to write more. I won't bother with spelling and grammar, any idiot can go back over their own work and fix their mistakes, its content what I'm worried about!

the Demon

More has been posted. wink

Hello! ^.^

I've enjoyed the story so far. I like the idea of soft hair that can't be cut. I noticed grammatical errors too...mostly places that either need an extra comma or doesn't need one. I agree with Demon about the dialogue being choppy and rigid, although the rigid dialogue gives a fairytale effect I think <.<

Mmmm, I really like the second part. It's rolling to a start very smoothly, very nicely, you should be very happy with it.

The dialogue is still giving me troubles, I don't expect you to stop having them talk that way, but it reads and sounds awkward when I say what they're saying outloud. I'm going to recommend, as a seasoned editor, to tone it down about 3 points. You should know how much that is when you write your next part, its like tuning a guitar or piano, you just know.

I really like Anya, I can see amazing character development in her and you've played out her father in perfect Disney cliche. Which, if you've just been offended, is not a bad thing at all, and you did it splendidly.

I look forward to seeing the next prt up soon,

the Demon