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Posted: Thu Jan 04, 2007 3:13 pm
Do to popular demand of the Rent-a-card post we have developed some entertaining and interesting questions. This post was created to see what you think on the topic of, "How to best sell Alucard." Here we encourage you to come up with cleaver marketing schemes. Write jingles and make adds.
The statement should follow that Alucard is can be at your becking call. We want to see how you describe what is good about him in the most creative way you can. Plus the fact that the astronomical price is worth every penny.
Have fun.
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Posted: Thu Jan 04, 2007 5:56 pm
Also, guys, keep in mind that this is a great spot to use those nifty PS and Paint skills, among other media, to illustrate your idea if you so desire. After all, even though the price would be astoundingly high and the clientele select (er, just count yourself among them), the service could still use an ad. Yachts are the same way, and they have ads.
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Posted: Tue Jan 16, 2007 10:43 am
I suppose if Alucard was for sale the a commercial before a horror flick would do well.
Commercial:
Two teens running thought the woods to there car. Something is chasing them and they look frightened. The guy is fumbling for his keys and drops them as he tries to unlock the car. The girl is crying and screaming for the boy to hurry. A very loud noise is heard. A close up on the teens faces. The look of horror is present on both of them. The scene freezes and Integras voice interrupts. Red lines encircle the two teens, "Is this you," Integra questions. "Fumbling around in the dark hoping to not be the latest snack for a horrid freak. Or how about this?" The screen flashes to a hectic work place full of phones and papers strung out every where. A Woman has three cups of coffee on her desk as they splashed she works herself to the point that she passes out. The scene freezes to take in the look of utter exhaustion on her face. A red line encircles her as well. "Pitiful," Integra moans. The screen flashes to a some what unkempt grocery store. It is late and a man is trying to find every thing he thinks he needs. The man is completely lost and is finding himself looking at very odd food items. This food does not even appear edible to him. He tries not to cause attention on to himself yet his body language suggests that he is exasperated and feeling shame for getting lost in a grocery store. All the clerks appear to be unintelligible and seem to be teasing the man as they avoid him at every turn. The screen freezes on his face. The man appears to be agitated and angry. Red encircles his face as well. Then all the faces line up with integra in view in front of them. " We at the Hellsing Organization want you to be glorious. So we are going to offer you a once in a life time offer. Show them Alucard.
Alucard bursts into the first scene ( Que intro music from Hellsing) rips the door off the teens car. As Alucard fires bullets from his 454 Castle he one-handedly tosses the kids into the car. He fastens there safety belts with his mind and turns on there stereo to a louder version of "Hellsing intro". The Beast is completely obliterated. The girl kisses the boy as he start the car and wave good by to Alucard. In side the car you can see a receipt for the purchase of Alucard. The scene quickly moves to the work place (Que more haunting music) papers are flying around the room and office workers are screaming in Horror. Both Alucard's arms are detached from his body. The limbs are quickly typing at the computer as he leans back at his chair enjoying the carnage. The women who's desk he is typing at could not to be found in the office. The scene moves to find her at home in bed. She smiles and kisses the contract which signs Alucard over to her. The scene moves to the man shopping. Instead of him worrying about being in an unfamiliar part of the grocery store he makes it to the magazine rack. While he is pleasantly occupied the items he needs are dropping from the air into his basket. As the camera moves up you casually see a hand appear out of a dark portal with the many items. The camera decides to search for the clerks. They are found rounded up and cowering in a corner. The room around them seems strange and unfamiliar. Hell hounds are growling at them and Alucard can be heard laughing. The shopping man smiles very wide as he looks into his shopping cart where his food and contract lay.
Integras voice can be heard over the pictures of satisfied people, "Don't settle for average, be glorious. Call Hellsing Organization now for details."
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Posted: Tue Jan 16, 2007 6:37 pm
That...was speechlessly great! I was picturing him ripping the door off that car. XD Sounds like a convincing commercial to me!
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Posted: Tue Jan 16, 2007 10:15 pm
Ah. eek Awesome, dude....Perfect......I'm sold!
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Posted: Wed Jan 17, 2007 5:30 pm
That is wonderful.
I really want Alucard to do grocery shopping for me.
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Posted: Wed Jan 17, 2007 5:36 pm
XDDD That's great...! *wants to make one in comic form, but has no scanner*
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Posted: Thu Jan 18, 2007 9:23 am
a[lunie]card XDDD That's great...! *wants to make one in comic form, but has no scanner* I suppose if all else fails you could always use a digital camera or a camra cell phone. I would love to see some comic work getting done on our guild. I belive we really can rival other web comics. Ok let's see some other ideas flowing. Jinngles, Ads and other sillyness. What every you can come up with is welcome.
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Posted: Wed Jan 24, 2007 8:00 am
In store anouncement"Blue Light Special, aisl 12, Undead! We have a limited stock of Alucards that are available for sale, come and get one while supplies last, thak you."
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Posted: Wed Jan 24, 2007 10:11 pm
Very nice! All you need know is the friendly, "Shop Smart shop S MART," catch phrase. blaugh
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Posted: Sun Mar 11, 2007 7:02 pm
Playstation 2 - $220
Dance Dance Revolution Extreme 2 - $50
Extra mat - $20
One day rental of Alucard - [insert price here]
Playing DDR with a vampire - Priceless.
There are some things money can't buy; for everything else there's Alucard.
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Posted: Sun Mar 11, 2007 7:46 pm
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Posted: Sun Mar 11, 2007 9:20 pm
^_^ It's the best this otherwise braindead person can come up with for now.
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Posted: Mon Mar 12, 2007 6:00 pm
*screen lights up and you see Alucard standing in an empty field then he pulls out his gun*
The screen shiftes to a hoard of ghouls we see Alucard pelt them all with neon colored paintballs.
Anouncer: IF YOU WANT TO BE ABLE TO SHOOT LIKE A VAMPIRE, LEARN FROM ONE! Come to Joe's Paintball Gallery for lessons.
Subtilte: Hellsing is not reponsable for death, impailment, vampireism, becoming a ghoul or your own stupidity. Do not antagonize Alucard. You will be sued by The Hellsing Org. for dammages done by him due to your provacation. *A list of do not do to Alucard continues to scroll down the screen* In the end: Alucard says: " This is...amusing." As he using his studenta as live target practice.
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iStoleYurVamps
iStoleYurVamps
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Posted: Mon Apr 30, 2007 7:21 pm
Heh, let's hope he remembers to use a paintball gun!
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