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 Posted: Thu Jan 04, 2007 12:05 pm
Alright. This might be a bit of a rant, but it's something that I really can't tell my parents...and it's something I kinda need to get out. Also, I just wanted to see if anyone else ever felt the same way, of if people agree or disagree with me.
So I'm a Christian, and I have been for as long as I can remember. I think I was saved sixty times, during all those camps and meetings...I was just an eager kid, lol. I can't pinpoint my actual 'salvation point' cause it's been so long. So now I'm 18, almost 19. My family are all Christians. My father is a pastor. His father was too. I've got missionaries for uncles and cousins, and pastors like you wouldn't believe. There are a few prophetic people in my family, involved in their churches in that way. Needless to say, I've been around Christianity in a big way for a very long time.
For 12 years my dad pastored a church that he planted. I loved it there. It was small, and I had a lot of fun. Sunday mornings, as I grew older, got more interesting. I mean, I'm not perfect and I would drift off, but the things my dad talked about were interesting. He's more of a teacher, taking a passage and picking it apart. It gives one great understanding of scripture and I learned a lot sitting under the sound of his voice on Sunday mornings.
This summer my dad resigned. Usually when a pastor does this (in the PAOC [Pentecostal Assemblies of Canada) anyways...I don't know how it is anywhere else) typically it's because they want to go somewhere else. They go through the process and whatnot...and the family gets up and moves. But this was not the case with us, and I truly thank God for that. He began a new ministry, one for college and university campuses across the eastern ontario district of the PAOC. That meant that we had to leave our church. It was heartbreaking. I don't know if anyone else is as attached to their church as I was, but if anyone is, they would know the feeling.
So we went to another church, not far from our house. This was a bigger church, probably the biggest pentecostal one in our city. Honestly, I hate it there. I hate going to youth, and I hate sunday mornings. The youth group ignores me, even though I've grown up with half of them. Ever get the feeling you don't fit in? Well I don't. Not there. It's not like I haven't tried, and I'm sick of rejection. I only go because the youth pastor is incredible, and he's encouraging me to come more often.
So on to the point. I hate Sunday mornings. Don't get me wrong; the pastor is very nice. He's under my dad, who's been on district exec for a few years now, and he's very supportive of what we're going through. But I can't even sit through a service anymore. I mean, my mind used to wander a little, but now I can't even focus if I wanted to. Why? It's all stuff I've heard before. I know that God loves me. I know how to talk to Him, and I know that He will make it all better when times are hard. Of course I know that these are good things to know; I do need to be reminded of such things every once and a while. But I can't live of information like that, you know? For a new Christian, this stuff is gold. But the problem is, the congregation is all pretty much over 50. Yes there are new Christians there, but that's what things like the Alpha course is for. I need to be fed more than milk. I can't live off it. I need substance...I need to learn.
I do understand that censorship has really invaded the Church. But honestly, if somone is ready, God's going to get them. He could use a message on something in Chronicles (somewhat a joke...for those who have read the book, they would understand. Yes I know there's lots to be taken from it, but I mean the geneology stuff) to save someone. When the time is right, they're going to find Him. It's not going to be some feel-good message that gets them. I don't want to 'feel good' after I get out of church. I want to feel that I have learned something. I don't want to feel like the most I got out of it was a half-hearted handshake by a greeter that couldn't tell me from a new person, or a fake smile from someone who really doesn't care about me. I want to learn. Going to church now makes me feel like I know everything. I don't want to feel that way. I want to come away pensive, having to look things up. I want to grow as a Christian, not sit in church as my nails get shorter and shorter, or as the bulletin is graced with my priceless artwork.
Maybe I'm just bitter about the whole switching churches thing...but I was out at another church last sunday with a friend, and I actually learned something. It was great! I felt like church was worthwhile, for once.
So yeah, that's my rant, I guess. Not a good ending, but I ran out of steam xp
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Posted: Thu Jan 04, 2007 1:23 pm
I know how you feel, both my home church and my college church make me hate christians..
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Posted: Thu Jan 04, 2007 2:36 pm
I don't hate Christians, just what has become of the Church. If people could be more real, then this problem would be lessened some, I should think. It makes me sad that people are so comfortable with their Christianity that they won't even care to accept newcomers into the church.
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Posted: Thu Jan 04, 2007 2:50 pm
I am a youth minister in the USA. I have been fired without any real reason. It stinks, what you are going through. This is a time where you need to do a couple of things. First, personally check your relationship with God. Make sure you and Him are still connecting. Remember He does leave the relationship, we do. Second, share with the senior minister and the youth minister, letting them know up front that this is in confidence, about your struggles. Be brutally honest with them and with yourself. Allow them to help. Be ready for some honest truth. Because maybe, like me, you came into the church with a chip on your shoulder, that others have noticed. Feel free to message me if you have any thoughts or questions about what I have said.
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Posted: Thu Jan 04, 2007 4:17 pm
God's children, I agree, have indeed been fed donuts spiritually-wise. We need to have God's Word in our hearts. But, church is more than just discipleship. The other purposes of church is worship, fellowship, and most importantly, evangelism.
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Posted: Fri Jan 05, 2007 9:35 pm
If this new church can meet your spiritual needs then go for it! We are all different, and at different steps in our walk with Christ, so different things can help us get closer to G-d. I don't think you should up and leave (probably talking to the ministers there, as james has suggested would be a good idea), but you should definately look into going to a church that can meet your needs. There shouldn't really be any problem with the swap and, even if there is, remember that, probably, the church that you're currently going to meets the needs of it's parishioners, so they might not get it. Don't be too worried because, in the end, the only opinion that matters is G-d's
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Posted: Sat Jan 06, 2007 8:47 am
i dont have time for unfriendly christians or they for me.
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Posted: Sat Jan 06, 2007 8:57 am
it seems that you dont really get anything out of the sunday services, so why dont go to an other sunday service in an other church? I used to go to several churches before i found the church where i felt as home and i got challanged to be a diciple of Christ aand where i get good useful teaching. In many churches it is really hard to get into the "gang", since most of the people have been friends for ages...so ya it will prolly take time til you'll make friends with them, and that sucks (i kno it has happened to me too)... Aah, i hope you'll get to know them soon even if it might be hard in the beginning!
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Posted: Sat Jan 06, 2007 8:36 pm
Woah... Keepin' it real, eh? Anyhootzit... I feel ya with the stuff you've heard before. What teenagers really need to find other than Christ, is knowledge. Took me a while to discover such a youth group. Sadly the Youth Pastor left and now I'm back to square 1.
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Posted: Sun Jan 07, 2007 6:30 pm
Wow, I really wasn't expecting such a response, lol.
I do realize that perhaps it is just me bing miffed about it not being my Dad up at the pulpit. For the 18 years of my life he was there, and sitting under the sound of someone else's voice is just...odd. The other hard thing is that this youth group in particular has a reputation (albeit a bad one) for being very exclusive. But the youth pastor there now is amazing. I mean, I can't even say enough good things about this guy. He's totally into it, and he understands. He's working to make the youth group less exclusive. He talks to me all the time, and I've told him most of what I said. The evening I first posted I was at youth (not wanting to go) and a good friend of mine called and asked me if I was going. Afterwards the youth pastor and I had a long talk, and I told him that I hated church, lol. I think that if you can tell a pastor that and he understands, he's a good guy.
I also realize it is on my part, too. I have to let the wall down and get into it. Worship is my favorite part, and I'm struggling with it. Just at that church, though. But I think I've built up such a resentment for the whole situation that I just can't do it any more. I'm like "God, I'm not feeling it." Of course, He's like "I don't really care." One time, I got, "And what if I don't really feel like answering your prayers." That shut me up pretty quick.
The other problem is I can't just up and leave to go to another church. If it was up to me, I'd still be at my old one. But family is really important to my parents, and they have stressed over and over that we need to go to church as a family. My youngest brother never really connected with anyone at our old church, cause there was literally no one his age, and the reason we're there is mostly for him and my other brother (who would rather go to a different church...) but I just have to deal with it.
I think part of my plight is that I think I'm more spiritually mature than some of the youth. Don't get me wrong; I'm not all holy and righteous...I won't even pretend to be, I just feel that way (I could be totally wrong) and I've been told that, but I just feel like I want to whack half the youth group over the head with a 2x4 and scream at them 'Don't you get it!' I'm sure I'm not the only one that has had this feeling...but I think I'm in a better position now because of the youth pastor. I'm hoping to come under his leadership, which will help me lots. I have a desire to learn more about God and who He is, and becoming a better person and Christian and all that jazz...so I hope it all will work out.
Providing I can get passed everything in my own heart, that it.
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Posted: Thu Jan 11, 2007 8:20 pm
x_Hikari_x Wow, I really wasn't expecting such a response, lol.
I do realize that perhaps it is just me bing miffed about it not being my Dad up at the pulpit. For the 18 years of my life he was there, and sitting under the sound of someone else's voice is just...odd. The other hard thing is that this youth group in particular has a reputation (albeit a bad one) for being very exclusive. But the youth pastor there now is amazing. I mean, I can't even say enough good things about this guy. He's totally into it, and he understands. He's working to make the youth group less exclusive. He talks to me all the time, and I've told him most of what I said. The evening I first posted I was at youth (not wanting to go) and a good friend of mine called and asked me if I was going. Afterwards the youth pastor and I had a long talk, and I told him that I hated church, lol. I think that if you can tell a pastor that and he understands, he's a good guy.
I also realize it is on my part, too. I have to let the wall down and get into it. Worship is my favorite part, and I'm struggling with it. Just at that church, though. But I think I've built up such a resentment for the whole situation that I just can't do it any more. I'm like "God, I'm not feeling it." Of course, He's like "I don't really care." One time, I got, "And what if I don't really feel like answering your prayers." That shut me up pretty quick.
The other problem is I can't just up and leave to go to another church. If it was up to me, I'd still be at my old one. But family is really important to my parents, and they have stressed over and over that we need to go to church as a family. My youngest brother never really connected with anyone at our old church, cause there was literally no one his age, and the reason we're there is mostly for him and my other brother (who would rather go to a different church...) but I just have to deal with it.
I think part of my plight is that I think I'm more spiritually mature than some of the youth. Don't get me wrong; I'm not all holy and righteous...I won't even pretend to be, I just feel that way (I could be totally wrong) and I've been told that, but I just feel like I want to whack half the youth group over the head with a 2x4 and scream at them 'Don't you get it!' I'm sure I'm not the only one that has had this feeling...but I think I'm in a better position now because of the youth pastor. I'm hoping to come under his leadership, which will help me lots. I have a desire to learn more about God and who He is, and becoming a better person and Christian and all that jazz...so I hope it all will work out.
Providing I can get passed everything in my own heart, that it. As another youth minister to a youth: THANK YOU! Thank you for not taking out the situation on the youth minister! I must say you are wise byond your years. You are mature, spiritually, emotionally and mentally, than your peers. There is nothing wrong with that. Remember, that church is about you and God, it is also about you helping others know God. It is about worship, fellowship, growth and healing. I know it has to be hard for you! I admire your will! I hope and pray that your relationship personally with God stays intact. Remember God loves you, and will never forsake you. God bless!
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Posted: Fri Jan 12, 2007 6:53 am
x_Hikari_x Wow, I really wasn't expecting such a response, lol.
I do realize that perhaps it is just me bing miffed about it not being my Dad up at the pulpit. For the 18 years of my life he was there, and sitting under the sound of someone else's voice is just...odd. The other hard thing is that this youth group in particular has a reputation (albeit a bad one) for being very exclusive. But the youth pastor there now is amazing. I mean, I can't even say enough good things about this guy. He's totally into it, and he understands. He's working to make the youth group less exclusive. He talks to me all the time, and I've told him most of what I said. The evening I first posted I was at youth (not wanting to go) and a good friend of mine called and asked me if I was going. Afterwards the youth pastor and I had a long talk, and I told him that I hated church, lol. I think that if you can tell a pastor that and he understands, he's a good guy.
I also realize it is on my part, too. I have to let the wall down and get into it. Worship is my favorite part, and I'm struggling with it. Just at that church, though. But I think I've built up such a resentment for the whole situation that I just can't do it any more. I'm like "God, I'm not feeling it." Of course, He's like "I don't really care." One time, I got, "And what if I don't really feel like answering your prayers." That shut me up pretty quick.
The other problem is I can't just up and leave to go to another church. If it was up to me, I'd still be at my old one. But family is really important to my parents, and they have stressed over and over that we need to go to church as a family. My youngest brother never really connected with anyone at our old church, cause there was literally no one his age, and the reason we're there is mostly for him and my other brother (who would rather go to a different church...) but I just have to deal with it.
I think part of my plight is that I think I'm more spiritually mature than some of the youth. Don't get me wrong; I'm not all holy and righteous...I won't even pretend to be, I just feel that way (I could be totally wrong) and I've been told that, but I just feel like I want to whack half the youth group over the head with a 2x4 and scream at them 'Don't you get it!' I'm sure I'm not the only one that has had this feeling...but I think I'm in a better position now because of the youth pastor. I'm hoping to come under his leadership, which will help me lots. I have a desire to learn more about God and who He is, and becoming a better person and Christian and all that jazz...so I hope it all will work out.
Providing I can get passed everything in my own heart, that it. Well, I'm glad that you realize there's a problem there, but I barely see the significance of going to church as a family. I mean, except for the part where my sister lost her faith a few years after my father's death rolled over. I mean, think of it this way, you are your own person (though 18 years old). You want to experience something new, right? Well if your "home" church isn't enough, maybe for a while you should experience others, then return to your old church. In my slight experience as a teenager who cannot connect well, that should be alright. I mean, I only have about one or two real friends at that church... and I had to take them there myself! But as for Becoming a better Christian and "jazz" like that, I'd suggest finding that out yourself. I went to a philosophy camp this past summer for that... even though it did drive me asleep. I did still learn alot... (Still not connecting well there either xd )
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Posted: Fri Jan 12, 2007 8:10 am
Yeah, I would probably go back to my old church, but I do not want to defy my parents wishes. If they had not stressed that they wanted us all there, then I would have stayed and not gone with them. So really it's not about me in that instance, it's about what my parents want (yes, I know...lol...I never really did pass into that rebellious stage...). But I've been doing a lot of thinking lately, and it's kinda funny; God's been kinda showing me up, you know? I complain about something, and He fixes it. Then I feel like an idiot for ever putting my trust elsewhere. Or He takes something away from me, and I get all like 'why the heck would you do that to me?" And then He gives it back...in a bigger way than it was before. I'm still not really connecting there...and now my brother's going through a bunch of crap...stupid girls and their manipulating, lol, but I admire his courage for still going there even though have the youth group actually hates him, and has no problem letting him know. It's that that makes me think maybe I don't have it so bad after all.
Although, this will be the first Sunday in 3 weeks that I've been there (not since Christmas Eve) so I'll try to make an effort to pay attention or something...and maybe learn a thing or two...
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Posted: Fri Jan 12, 2007 9:24 am
I agree with most of the others who have already replied. I also understand about wanting to continue going to church as a family, especially in this day when soo many families are falling apart over such small things. There is another option for you, though, if you still feel you are not getting fed enough at this new church. There are a lot of Pastors of all different churches that record their services so that people can get them to listen to whenever they want. I do this myself. It is also nice because then you can have more "feeding" during the week, and not just at church. If you're interested I can even have my church send you their services (we do things much the same as you've discribed the way your dad did it, verse by verse and all that). If you're interested just PM me.
Other then that, I'd say, keep yourself open to what God may be trying to teach you at this new church, and stay open and honest with your family and the pastors at church. Things may be different, and may not be what your used to, but this may actually be a very good thing for you, a way for you to grow in ways you haven't thought of. I'll be praying for you.
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Posted: Sat Jan 13, 2007 6:35 am
x_Hikari_x Yeah, I would probably go back to my old church, but I do not want to defy my parents wishes. If they had not stressed that they wanted us all there, then I would have stayed and not gone with them. So really it's not about me in that instance, it's about what my parents want (yes, I know...lol...I never really did pass into that rebellious stage...). But I've been doing a lot of thinking lately, and it's kinda funny; God's been kinda showing me up, you know? I complain about something, and He fixes it. Then I feel like an idiot for ever putting my trust elsewhere. Or He takes something away from me, and I get all like 'why the heck would you do that to me?" And then He gives it back...in a bigger way than it was before. I'm still not really connecting there...and now my brother's going through a bunch of crap...stupid girls and their manipulating, lol, but I admire his courage for still going there even though have the youth group actually hates him, and has no problem letting him know. It's that that makes me think maybe I don't have it so bad after all.
Although, this will be the first Sunday in 3 weeks that I've been there (not since Christmas Eve) so I'll try to make an effort to pay attention or something...and maybe learn a thing or two... I also admire the fat that you're trying to understand what your parents are trying to say. Ya know, maybe you could remedy your own issues by listening to God. I learned that the hard way. However, if you still can't congregate with anyone at said church, shouldn't you ask your parents if you could try to find a congregation who is more along the lines of what you want to be with? I dunno, I'm just trying to help. I've been in rejection by the congregation at my old church for years, and my mom didn't do jack squat about it until I got fed up with it. But maybe your parents will respect you for wishes and understand you're growing in a different way. But that was just my situation. Lastly, maybe llistening to your pastor would change things for the better.
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