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 Posted: Tue Jan 02, 2007 2:59 pm
I have no idea what I should do! I mean, I want to be in a really nice relationship, but it always seems like there is some complication..then when all else fails, and I'm single again...I just feel so lonely. Sometimes I get to thinking there won't be anyoe out there for me. Can anyone help?
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Posted: Tue Jan 02, 2007 6:15 pm
I'm pretty unhappy myself. You know, either way.
You should just appreciate what you have and if you have feelings for the person you're in a relationship with then stay with them, and if you don't then don't stay with them.
There is someone out there for you, just keep looking.
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Posted: Tue Jan 02, 2007 9:43 pm
You know, I want to be satisfied with what I have, but I always tend to get the guy who's all wrong for me, and abuses me. Then when I wanna let him go, I'm scared too...I always think "What if this is the best I can do? What if no one else comes along?"...I have this weird complicated life, and sometimes all I need is someone to hold my hand, and tell me everything's ok...but I can't even have that much without some problem...these are the times I wish life was an anime...
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Posted: Tue Jan 02, 2007 11:57 pm
What you describe is part of the human condition. While we seek the companionship of others, it is others that cause us the most harm. Hence the immortal proverb: can't live with 'em, can't live without 'em. (Damned if you do, damned if you don't is also acceptable).
Love (and relationships) are often over-romanticized leading people to believe two (or more) fallacies: that there is only one person for each of us, and that love comes easy if it's meant to be. While I can go on for pages about each, I'll roughly summarize to make reading easier.
First of all, we're all humans. Men, women, old, and young, we're all humans with the same basic emotions and desires. Hence, it's a little naive to think that out of all six billion of us on this planet, there is only one specific person that we're meant to be with. Instead, relationships are based on compatibility, and there will be some people that we're more compatible with than others. I don't think I've ever dated someone that I was truly incompatible with, but I've certainly had "good" relationships and "not so good" ones. Outline what you like about the guys you've dated and outline what you didn't like. During a dinner conversation recently, I was told that simply identifying and writing down what you want/need brings it closer in your life. Interpret that as you will, but I do believe that people need to know what they're looking for in order to find it.
Secondly, any relationship needs constant work for it to survive. It's incredibly easy to get into a routine where the relationship is just expected to survive, and what almost always happens is that people lose interest. That's what happened to me, and now I'm facing a divorce. When you do find someone special that you really care for, communicate with them. Sure, they'll do things that will piss you off, but they're human, and unless you communicate how you feel, resentment will build up inside you. If they do something sweet, recognize it and tell him how it makes you feel.
Above all, while love may seem like the all important meaning of life, you can be plenty happy with simply being who you are.
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Posted: Tue Jan 02, 2007 11:59 pm
Don't settle for less than the perfect guy for you. You shouldn't settle with someone because you can live with them, but be with them because you can't live without them.
You can definitely do better than someone that you don't want to be with or someone that is abusive. Someone else will come along. Everything will always end up better than you think.
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Posted: Fri Jan 05, 2007 5:08 am
Just wait a little while.
If you are looking for love, chances are you won't find it.
Just hang with your friends, have a good time, go out and meet people if you can, and the right guy will come to you.
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Posted: Sat Jan 06, 2007 3:38 pm
The way you make it sounds,
you're dooming it to fail.
Don't think about how unhappy you will be going into one.
If you look for flaws in a person, they will come out.
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Posted: Sun Jan 07, 2007 8:44 am
Maybe you should take some time to get to know yourself without someone else. Sometimes in order to truly love someone else we need to love ourselves first. Take some time to learn how to be happy by and with yourself.
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Posted: Tue Jan 16, 2007 3:29 pm
You know, after a while I felt like whether I'm in a relationship or not, I'll always F it up.
Then I thought about it. I'm mostly unfeeling nowadays. I wouldn't do well in a relationship anyway. Also, I'll always have my family.
After a while I just figured it was fine not to be in a relationship because this is just the way it's going to be.
Plus there will be life experiences that will have impacts on us. We will change. So maybe someday we can be happy in relationships.
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Posted: Tue Jan 16, 2007 3:30 pm
Nightingale_3 Maybe you should take some time to get to know yourself without someone else. Sometimes in order to truly love someone else we need to love ourselves first. Take some time to learn how to be happy by and with yourself. I agree
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Posted: Tue Jan 16, 2007 5:37 pm
three words: patience and time
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Posted: Wed Feb 14, 2007 1:14 pm
maybe its the dudes you get involved with
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Posted: Thu Feb 15, 2007 2:33 pm
Well you know what they say "There's someone out there for everyone" It'll work out in the long run! biggrin
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