I found this on Deviant Art a few weeks ago and laughed sooo hard when I read it. I figured I would share the laughs with all of you!
Read and enjoy!
LINK TO STORY ON DEVIANT ART. CLICK.ALL: 525,600 minutes? ...Isn't that how many minutes are in a year? What does that have to do with anything? God, who writes this s**t?
JONATHAN LARSON: Me.
ALL:...Oh.
MARK: Damn, this suck. I can't find any footage for my film.
ROGER: That's because you suck!
MARK: Meanie! [emosob]
AUDIENCE: JUST KISS ALREADY!
RANDOM PEOPLE: WE'RE NOT PAYING THE RENT!
BENNY: SHUT UP!
RANDOM PEOPLE: NO!
BENNY: Get off my car.
MARK: Baldie!
BENNY: DFGDFLKFJDFLGJLF?!?!?!!!111!!1!!11d??1!?111? YOU ARE SO NOT GETTING ANY TONIGHT!
ROGER: Now I'm going to go on the roof of the building and Improv me up a song about why I need to write a song. Shhh, this isn't the song! If it was, the movie would have a crappy ending.
AUDIENCE: And that wasn't?
ROGER: Shut up!
MIMI: Light my candle?
ROGER: NO I WILL NOT LIGHT YOUR ******** CANDLE!
MIMI: [holds up script] Oh yes you will!
ROGER: s**t. You hoe.
[Randomly the next day]
Mark: GROAN! My girlfriend is a lesbian now. Why does this always happen to ME?!
COLLINS: MERRY CHRISTMAS, BITCHES!!!
Roger: Oh, GOD.
ANGEL: I'm the most sterotypically gay drag queen ever, but you have to love me because I'm a sweetie...PLUS I CAN DANCE! [dances]
BERNADETTE (from Priscilla): Please tell me you don't listen to ABBA.
ALICE (the author): You know, I really hate the word Wig.
ALL: Shut up, neither of you are in RENT.
Mark: MAUREN STILL WANTS ME, I KNOW IT!
Collins: Kinky.
ANGEL: You know, the sad thing is that I'm a man and I look better in makeup than you.
JOANNE: Ew, you're Mark?
MARK: Uh yeah.
JOANNE: ....Gross. p***s.
MARK: Dance with me?
JOANNE: Alright. We did date the same girl, even if you do have a p***s.
MARK: Or do I?
HOMELESS PEOPLE IN BACKGROUND: I wouldn't be surprised.
JOANNE: You should try it in hells!
ALL: Try WHAT now?
ALICE: I can't walk in heels.
ALL: GO AWAY!
MARK: WHEEE! I'M PRETTY!
GORDON: There's only-
[ANGEL and COLLINS walk in]
GORDON: There's only-
[MARK walks in and makes noise]
GORDON: That's it, I'm outta here. You people SUCK.
THE CREEPY GUY THAT RUNS LIFE SUPPORT: And how does that make you FEEL?
GORDON:...You stay away from me.
ANGEL: I have a really big tounge. Can I lick you?
MIMI: I'M A STRIPPER!
Roger: Bah humbug.
MIMI: I don't want anybody else, Roger! When I think about you, I touch myself!
ROGER: ...Ew. Junkie.
MIMI: WAH! JUNKIES ARE PEOPLE TOO!
Roger: Not really. And I should know, because I'm more Emo than Angel is gay. And Angel is very gay.
ANGEL AND SOME OTHER PEOPLE: No day but todaaaaaaaaaaaay!
ROGER: WTF?
SOME GUY: Will I lose my dignity?
Audience: I think you already have.
MARK: Shut up, the AIDS people are having a moment! [emosob]
ROGER: I'm still upset over some girl that gave me AIDS and then killed herself like three years ago, but now I'm in Life Support so everything will be better.
HOMELESS CHICK: I don't have much of a point, so I'm going to take it out on Mark. YOU SUCK MARK!
Mark: WAAAAAH!
COLLINS: Let's go to Santa Fe, where everything is sexy.
ANGEL: Like me?
COLLINS: Not that sexy!
MARK AND ROGER: Ewwww. We're outie.
ANGEL AND COLLINS: I LOVE YOU! YAAAAY!
LITTLE BOY: Mommy, there are people singing in the street again.
MOM: Timmy, I told you to sty out of Mommy's Prozac. That's for grownups.
ROGER: I know I was a b***h before, but now I'm in emo rehab I MEAN Life Suppost anf I"m all better. Want to go to a protest you were already going to go to with me?
MIMI: How romantic!
ANGEL: MIMI!
MIMI: ANGEL!
ROGER: WTF?
MIMI: Oh, didn't I tell you? I'm a huge f** hag. But I'm into S&M, so that makes up for it.
ROGER: Word yo.
MAUREEN: YAY! I'M IN LOVE WITH A COW!
JOANNE: HEY!
MAUREEN: No, I mean a real cow.
ALL: Lat's dance on tables and sing really really fast!
MARK: PEEKABOO!
ROGER: YAY TABLE DANCES!
MIMI: Hey, I get paid to do that.
ROGER: I have AIDS.
MIMI: Cool, me too.
ROGER: Hawt. Let's suck face outside.
MIMI: Kay!
ROGER: Alrighty now let's dance some more.
MARK: Lonelyyyyy I'm Mr. Lonellllyyyy
ROGER: GOD, you're more emo than me!
ALL: 525,600 minutes...wait, didn't we cover this already?
ANGEL: I'll cover you!
COLLINS: [smirk]
MARK: Oh God, take that somewhere, will you?
ALL: HAPPY NEW YEAR! WHEE!
ROGER: s**t, they padlocked our door!
ANGEL: I AM BATMAN! [knocks off padlock with a trash can]
COLLINS: You're drunk.
Angel: Nuh-uhhhh. [falls over]
ROGER: OMG!!!!1!!!one!!!!!!111 BENNY TOOK OUR STUFFZ!!!1!!!!!eleven!1!!!11!!!
MIMI: MINE TOOOZ!!!!!!1!!
ALL: BENNY SUCKS!
COLLINS: Hee hee my sunglasses are hot.
ANGEL: Don't mind him, I think he's high.
JOANNE: Come on Mark! LET'S GO BE SELLOUTS!
MARK: I'm a corporate whore! 8D
JOANNE: Will you marry me?
MAUREEN: Probably not, but whatever.
MARK: Is that even legal?
MAUREEN: IT IS IN ENGLAND!
MARK: Ew.
MAUREEN: I'm sexy.
JOANNE: YOU SUCK!
MAUREEN: BONDAGE YAY!
ROGER: YAY CATFIGHT! [grabs popcorn]
ANGEL: [clings to Collins]
MAUREENS MOM: Do you mind not singing that loud? You're ruining the upholstry.
BENNY: I don't want to suck anymore.
MIMI: That's not what you said last night.
ROGER: WHAAA?!
MIMI: This sucks. Roger left me.
ROGER: THis sucks...I'm emo again.
MIMI: OH well, I always have Mr. Needle. I love you, Mr. Needle.
ANGEL: AAAH I'M HAVING AN MPREG BABY! I mean I'm dying.
COLLINS: NO MY LOVE!!!
EVERYONE: NNUUU WEEE LLOOOOOVVVVEED ANGELELLLL
ROGER: I'm outta here, bitches!
JOANNE: Maureen, you still suck.
COLLINS: Stop fighting! [sobsob]
JOANNE: Okay. I love you Maureen.
MAUREEN: I love you too Pookie.
ROGER: Okay, Santa Fe sucks. I'm going back to my Markie.
MARK: YAY!
ROGER: Have you seen my dog-I mean mimi?
JOANNE AND BENNY: Nuh-uh.
ROGER: ********: Here she is!
JOANNE: Did you rape her?
MAUREEN: ...No....maybe...
MIMI: [randomly dies]
ROGER: Okay, NOW it's time for my song. [sings his hawt song]
MIMI: [ranodmly back alive] OMG! WHAT A PURTY SONG! I think I'll be alive now.
MARK: Now for footage of Angel I got when I was stalking her!
COLLINS: What?
MARK: Nothing. [[puts on FINAL DESTINATION 2]
MIMI: AHHH!!!
MARK: Sorry wrong movie. [puts on Today 4 U]
ALL: YAY!
The End.
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