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Have you ever encountered a relative/friend/aquaintance/co-worker who has said something along the lines of:

"You know...you'd be so much prettier/more handsome if you just lost weight."

or

"You have such a pretty/handsome face"<--notice the emphasis on the word 'face'

or

"That outfit would look so much better if it were a couple sizes larger/if you lost a few pounds"

or

"That hairstyle just doesn't suit a round face like yours, you should consider changing it to a more....flattering hairstyle 4laugh "

or any other 'helpful' phrases? Why do some *not all, mind you* skinny people feel it is within their right to give us their 'helpful' advice? That we will benefit from their wisdom and thank them profusely? That we enjoy being humiliated or informed of the obvious that yes, we are large, thnx SO much for noticing and informing me, I had no idea, really! stare

How do you feel when someone decides to tell you their thoughts on your appearance? Do you ignore it? Remain civil? Give theim a sarcastic retort so they feel small? Yell at them to keep their big mouths shut?

Discuss... 3nodding

In my opinion backhanded compliments deserve just that...a backhand to the face. 3nodding

Today in school I wore my dress, the one I put pics up of in the camwhore thread, and I thought I looked cute damnit. I had these black leather shoes, these knee length school girl sock things, I actually wore makeup, my hair was ripply *all by itself too =D* and pretty. And I felt good. I felt like I looked good. I felt beautiful even. Well I get to school and in the mornings I stand outside with friends. Usually Ryan is there first, but he wasn't yet, so I went over to a different friend that was standing near by, my friend Nick. He's a sweetheart, and so is his boyfriend, they both gave me huge hugs and told me I looked wonderful. I just flashed them a grin and hugged back. The day was going good! Then A few other friends come up and are like "Whhhyyyy?! IT'S THE APOCOLYPSE!" and laughed, hugging me and telling me I looked good. Its an inside joke with them that the day I wear a dress will mark the beginning of the apocolypse. Well then Ryan comes and the first thing he says is "Good god Codi....=/ While that dress is cute.....it just...looks....I'm sorry Codi, but you're just really very ugly today. Especially in that dress." I just took it and stood there, because not everyone is going to think that I looked good. Well, then Bernadette and Amanda come up to me and say stuff along the lines of what Ryan had said. I told them that I wasn't in a good mood and that it would be in there best interests to be quiet. Berna and Amanda stopped after that, but Ryan kept going. I had to walk away. I -never- walk away from people when I'm angry unless I -KNOW- that I'll do something that I'd regret, so I just left. Berna told Ryan that he made me really really mad, which he did, but he said that he didn't make me mad. I learned this because I have second period with Berna. So I see Ryan later and tell him that Yes, he DID make me mad and that I left so that I wouldn't hurt him. I was this close to punching him in the face. Then HE gets mad at me because - I - got mad at him. What a sucky way to end the school year? Today was my last of Freshman year in High school and I leave it feeling a burning hatred for one of my friends.


But yeah.....I hate those 'constructive criticism' comments. >< They're not CC, they're a nice title to 'making fun of you'

My grandfather use to call me mrs. Piggy growing up.

Other then that I get compliments on my style and

...how white my teeth are stare

Other then that I really dont get too many weight comments. It's usualy me hearing otehrs say they wish they were shapped like me for some od reason. I wish I was shapped like them half the time!

I've been complimented on my thick head of hair, my face and my eyebrows (!), but hardly ever on my body (except by my current crush who compliments me a lot on how I look. 4laugh )

Generally I just say: 'Thanks'. People think they're doing you a favor. My best friend and his gf used to say all the time that I had such a pretty face until I told them that it's rather insulting. At first they didn't get it and said: 'Hey, we're just trying to be nice!' And that's the problem. Most people say these things cause they feel sorry for us big gals and want to make us feel better about our 'ugly' selves. I don't need that. I feel fine the way I am nowadays.

The whole thing is Vicious_Hideki, is that we do not NEED the 'help'. We never asked for it, but yet people time and time again think that they, being the oh so helpful people that they are, give out their advice thinking that they're being helpful when in fact they're being annoying.

If someone ASKS for advice, they have to keep in mind that the advice they give may not be in their favour, or that it will be biased, because usually a skinny person has no idea what larger people have to deal with. We deal with things that they don't have to, we deal with snide comments and general verbal abuse about how our bodies are shaped when they don't.

I'd like to share a quote with you..."The path to hell is paved with good intentions"..think about it. People do things that wind up offending/humiliating someone but they never MEAN to do something hurtful...but they still do. Are we supposed to ignore the fact that what someone said was ignorant/rude/uncalled for because, hey, their intentions were supposedly good? I don't think so.

If slim people want to give us a compliment, they should just give a general comment such as "You look really nice today! What a lovely outfit! I like your hairstyle!" *like they would to their fellow slim buddies* instead of giving a compliment that indirectly puts negative focus on our weight, such as the "you have such a pretty face line. Whether they meant it or not, their compliment is not a true one, but a backhanded one. Just treat us with the same respect you would to a smaller person, that's all we ask.