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 Posted: Fri Dec 29, 2006 12:39 pm
A lot of my friends have said it's essential to have a father in your life and that coz I disowned mine it'll affect any future relationships with men.
The thing is I'm not sure it is essential, they can't say I didn't try because I did. I've coped without him in the past. It's never affected me before, but since they've mentioned it I've done thinking so now I'm confused.
Is it or isn't it essential to have a father in your life?
How likely is it to affect me even if I don't want to know my father?
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Posted: Fri Dec 29, 2006 11:31 pm
Just think, what did God do after he decided to send Jesus to the earth? he made sure he had a father in here. God designed family as it is (mother, father and siblings) for a reason. Some of us never got to know our progenitors, but in those cases we still can have 'adopted' fathers.
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Posted: Sat Dec 30, 2006 12:01 pm
I agriee with victum soul on this one fathers and mothers are important.
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Posted: Sun Dec 31, 2006 2:09 pm
Even if he caused me nothing but greif and hassle when I did make an effort?
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Posted: Sun Dec 31, 2006 8:35 pm
I don't think that you need a father to have a normal relationship with a guy. I think that you can live a normal life without a father. Sure, it'll be difficult and there will be differences, but disowning your father won't affect your future relationships unless you allow it to. Yes, God did design families so that there would be parents, but you're meant to break away from your parents sometime.
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Posted: Mon Jan 01, 2007 7:07 pm
lOlLy_PoPs_4_eVeRyOnE Even if he caused me nothing but greif and hassle when I did make an effort? it's one of the then commandments
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Posted: Mon Jan 01, 2007 7:40 pm
If I may pry, why did you disown your father?
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Posted: Tue Jan 02, 2007 8:43 am
Love thy mother and father.
You can not like your father, (I personally don't like my mother, but I love her). And you can stop talking to your father -and if you do so there is nothing that he can do. But do not stop loving him.
Sometimes it is best to let go, and possibly in your situation you are in a place where you do need to let him go. Any decision that you make - you need to talk to God about it. (not just pray, talk to God)
We do not know your full situation, so none of us can say. It's good to have that fatherly figure, but it will not kill you if you do not have it. Trust in God and rely on him.
And with the relationship with men later on in life -- look at it this way:
You see your father, and how you do not like who/what/how he is. And you can do something about that. You can't change him, but you can strive for a higher standard with the man you someday marry. Do not date guys that are like your father - promise to yourself that you will follow God's will and be with a man that is better for you.
I hope this helped, if only a little. smile
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Posted: Tue Jan 02, 2007 2:23 pm
i think it is essential to have a mother and father, but only in a spiritual sense: I think that you should find someone who is your father-figure and he will be the founddation.
That is, if you're sure you can't cope with your biological father.
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Posted: Tue Jan 02, 2007 6:17 pm
miturn i think it is essential to have a mother and father, but only in a spiritual sense: I think that you should find someone who is your father-figure and he will be the founddation.
That is, if you're sure you can't cope with your biological father. Yup, I couldn't have explained it better. My 'dad' is not my biological father, and still he is my DAD 3nodding
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Posted: Wed Jan 03, 2007 1:35 am
SaiBlackNight Love thy mother and father.[/quoteI thought it was honour your parents.
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Posted: Wed Jan 03, 2007 7:59 am
lOlLy_PoPs_4_eVeRyOnE SaiBlackNight Love thy mother and father. I thought it was honour your parents. Yeah...I thought it was respect.
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Posted: Wed Jan 10, 2007 8:45 pm
lOlLy_PoPs_4_eVeRyOnE A lot of my friends have said it's essential to have a father in your life and that coz I disowned mine it'll affect any future relationships with men. The thing is I'm not sure it is essential, they can't say I didn't try because I did. I've coped without him in the past. It's never affected me before, but since they've mentioned it I've done thinking so now I'm confused. Is it or isn't it essential to have a father in your life? How likely is it to affect me even if I don't want to know my father? I grew up with an abusive dad, and me and my little sister spent a good deal of our young lives trying to avoid him. I don't know how old you are, why you disowned your dad, or how you feel about men right now, but I can say that being so detatched and fearful of my dad did affect me in a very big way. I was scared of male teachers, men working at the mall, other boys who showed an interest in me, because I felt like they wold treat me the same way as my dad, or want to harm me. About the time I turned 17 I started to wonder if I was not being just a little parinoid, because I saw other women and girls in healthy relationships with men. This lead me to belive that maby it way ME, that it was MY fault my dad felt the way he did about me. Fortuantly a few months later I met my future husband, and started to develop a sense of self worth. I belive that I am doing pretty well for growing up with virtually no dad, and I am in a healthy marriage with a man, so no, I don't think it is "essential" to have a father figure, but I am sure it dose help and make life a lot eaiser. Do you have an older brother (who hopefully is not like your dad) or a male relative that you could look up to if you really feel that you need a man in your life? That might be a good solution to not having a father. If not, remember that our true Father is in heaven, and He is always dependable and will never leave you, and He is really all you need.
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Posted: Wed Jan 17, 2007 11:09 am
Dead Ed If I may pry, why did you disown your father? He left my mum with a 4 year old and a 7 year old so badly asthmatic as a family they were constantly in and out of hospital. At the time he left I was about a year old. When he first started getting in touch, after nearly 12 years of not wanting to know he brought a lot of trouble with him; namely his wife. Turns out the only reason he got in touch is because she couldn't have children and he thought my mother was still in the situation he'd left her in so he would be able to claim me via Social Services. Didn't happen though. It all goes alright nd then he cancels the day before I was due to see him. It all goes a bit crazy, stepmother starts hurling abuse at my mother, my father won't beleive my mother, accuses her of lying then moves and changes his number. (finish later)
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Posted: Wed Jan 17, 2007 1:45 pm
Yeah i'm not if this has been said before but here I go...
There is an episode of Family Guy where Peter's dad (who is overly religious) retires and lives with Peter's family. Peter keeps talking about how his dad scolded him about everything throughout the episode. Later on the Pope comes to town. So Peter kidnaps him and take him to talk with his dad. At the end Peter asks his dad why he dosen't love him. His dad says that he does love him, he just dosen't like him.
At the end the Pope says: "The Good Lord said to honor thy father, he nver said anything about liking them."
So, yeah hope that helps.
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