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 Posted: Thu Dec 28, 2006 1:49 pm
My Problem So what do you do in this situation? a few facts.. > I'm a chick > This boy I'm speaking of is my boyfriend> we've been dating for 6 months as of December 24, 2006. > I have been sexually active > He's never had a girlfriend before me (let alone had sex) > I'm 17 (birthday is February 22, 1989) and my boy is 20 (birthday August 23, 1986) Ok, I've been in this relationship for 6 months. I really love this boy. We love each other dearly. I'm confident this feeling is different than my last relationship. It seems more caring and trusting. More love, it is real love to us. Well, I've been wanting to have sex with this boy for a long time. Probably 4 months out of the last 6 together, I've seriously wanted to. Well, my boyfriend and I have had this discussion a few times. And tonight we had it again and I got his permission to ask this in the LI. He told me that he also wants to have a sexual relationship. He wants to have sex. But, he can't bring himself to do it and he doesn't know why. He's named a few concerns such as a fear of being caught. He's also expressed a fear of if we are caught what would happen if we were caught with our age difference because I'm not technically legal yet. But, we both want it. He just can't and we are trying to find a way (without the use of alcohol and any illegal substance) to make it happen. What we're asking:: 1) possible causes of this 2) solutions to rid this problem so we can have sex thanks for listening. My Boyfriend I don't think the only thing is you being underage. I don't think that's even a primary reason, aside from afraid of getting caught some how. I know you'll be there for me and I'm not too afraid of not being a good performer, or lasting for hours at a time. I understand that first timers, usually, don't last longer than a couple minutes....I don't know what I'm concerned with....... gonk there's our issues, really all we want to know is, how can we get him over this hesitation? he says that the problem is his thinking about it is getting in the way of him actually doing it.
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Posted: Thu Dec 28, 2006 1:51 pm
If you keep it quiet, and you really want to do, I don't really see any reason you shouldn't.
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Posted: Thu Dec 28, 2006 3:39 pm
it's not that we don't think we shouldn't. we would if we knew how. I'm not gonna go blabbing, he won't either, but he doesn't know how to bring himself to it. he wants it, but his thinking about everything is stopping him
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Posted: Thu Dec 28, 2006 3:43 pm
Well, you probably just have to wait until he's really ready. He will be eventually. Assure him that everything will be fine, and that you both want to do it.
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Posted: Thu Dec 28, 2006 3:49 pm
yea, I just wish things would speed up, bj's are starting to reach over 50 minutes
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Posted: Thu Dec 28, 2006 4:29 pm
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Posted: Thu Dec 28, 2006 4:39 pm
have u tried taking it i stages like one day try just laying together naked and cuddling and talking and then another day doing that but more kissing and then another day more touching certain places and going from that to just exloring eachothers bodies more and then oral and then more cuddling and kisses a few times before trying sex
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Posted: Thu Dec 28, 2006 4:43 pm
hannah47 have u tried taking it i stages like one day try just laying together naked and cuddling and talking and then another day doing that but more kissing and then another day more touching certain places and going from that to just exloring eachothers bodies more and then oral and then more cuddling and kisses a few times before trying sex we haven't tried that, but we really don't have the ability, he lives with his parents and I with mine. he'd probably be kicked out if his parents found out and he'd be locked up if my parents found out.
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Posted: Thu Dec 28, 2006 4:49 pm
~Ichigo_Pie~ hannah47 have u tried taking it i stages like one day try just laying together naked and cuddling and talking and then another day doing that but more kissing and then another day more touching certain places and going from that to just exloring eachothers bodies more and then oral and then more cuddling and kisses a few times before trying sex we haven't tried that, but we really don't have the ability, he lives with his parents and I with mine. he'd probably be kicked out if his parents found out and he'd be locked up if my parents found out. well u really shouldnt be rushing into sex anyway without knowing each other better physically, how much have u done?
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Posted: Thu Dec 28, 2006 4:51 pm
hannah47 ~Ichigo_Pie~ hannah47 have u tried taking it i stages like one day try just laying together naked and cuddling and talking and then another day doing that but more kissing and then another day more touching certain places and going from that to just exloring eachothers bodies more and then oral and then more cuddling and kisses a few times before trying sex we haven't tried that, but we really don't have the ability, he lives with his parents and I with mine. he'd probably be kicked out if his parents found out and he'd be locked up if my parents found out. well u really shouldnt be rushing into sex anyway without knowing each other better physically, how much have u done? everything but and I refuse to let him perform oral on me, it creeps me out.
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Posted: Thu Dec 28, 2006 4:57 pm
~Ichigo_Pie~ hannah47 ~Ichigo_Pie~ hannah47 have u tried taking it i stages like one day try just laying together naked and cuddling and talking and then another day doing that but more kissing and then another day more touching certain places and going from that to just exloring eachothers bodies more and then oral and then more cuddling and kisses a few times before trying sex we haven't tried that, but we really don't have the ability, he lives with his parents and I with mine. he'd probably be kicked out if his parents found out and he'd be locked up if my parents found out. well u really shouldnt be rushing into sex anyway without knowing each other better physically, how much have u done? everything but and I refuse to let him perform oral on me, it creeps me out. well ok some ppl dont like it..but maybe that has something to do with his insecurities..im not saying u should let him do it if u dont want to but trying new things together would make u closer as lovers..it might help him losen up about the whole thing..but if u dont want to then thats grand..u say u both live with ur parents..for havig sex maybe u should arange it so either ur at home alone with each other or maybe even a hotel and have a long time have plenty of time for naked cuddling (it really relaxings ppl to each other) and foreplay before actually starting.
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Posted: Thu Dec 28, 2006 5:01 pm
you've given me the best advice thus far thank you so much! I think we can try that, but I'm thinking if it doesn't happen on it's own without the cuddling before I graduate we'll try it after I graduate.
people think he may not be ready and I don't think he is, maybe he has a fear of something deep.
I'm going to give him some time without sexual touching. Let him work things out. this is his battle
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Posted: Wed Jan 17, 2007 9:09 pm
I couldn't help but read the part where you say you're tech not legal and hes afraid of being caught BUT if you live in the United States and you're 17 you can consensually have sex with someone up to 23 or 24. Can't remember which one but 23 would be a safe bet. In other words, you and your man having sex would be legal. =3
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Posted: Fri Mar 16, 2007 4:48 pm
come to canada legal age is 14 up here
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Posted: Thu Jun 28, 2007 8:42 pm
well its been like another six months since you made this thread (give or take a month or two) and i hope by now you've had sex, if you're still together and you still haven't done it, tell him you'll leave him. xd
nah, seriously... like maybe... try to get him really really uber turned on, lock every door, every window in the house, and then have sex. =3
many many times.
teach him what you like, things like that.
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