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I have a friend who is now 18, but had her baby in Jan of this year when she was still 18. She now has a 6 month old little boy, and is living with a "male roommate". She seems to be coping well enough, but I still feel sorry for her.

I don't know... your friend doesn't seem to be a very mature person, or a mature parent for that matter. Have you or her family or anyone else tried talking to her about it?
Maybe counselling or therapy would help her too. There has to be a reason why she's acting the way she is.

Even though she may say she doesn't, She could regret her son. Or suffer from post-partom depression. It happens more than people would like to think. She could also just be plain lazy and unmotivated. Maybe it is how her parents raised her? I agree with what both Nikolita and Niarah have said. Maybe she needs counsling or just maybe a good example to follow by?

I think the way most parents parent is the way they were parented. So basically what were her parents like? That is really the only example she has so unless someone shows her another way then that is probably going to be the only way she knows. Maybe try finding a parenting book that you enjoy and passing it on to her or even just borrowing it from the library (then it's not charity which upsets some people) Unless the way things are going is actually bothering her though it's unlikely that she is going to have any motivation to change.

I know I have tried to help her out make friendly suggestions. She is very paranoid and force feeds her son because she doesnt think he eats enough.... I was like "sweetie, no toddler in the history of the world has starved to death when they are capable of eating and have food" I dont know what to do, my husband thinks I shouldnt talk to her anymore because he thinks maybe she will start trying to foist her son off on us. She has done that to someone else she knows she said she had to run some errands and didnt come get him from her friend until 2 days later. It is so sad, I thought seriously about calling social services but she is not seriously harming him. i think she is harming herself more.

Have you tried talking to her parents about her behavior? If she's force-feeding her son, that's not good for the child, obviously, for many reasons.
She sounds like she needs help. And I mean if worse comes to worse, if she's really not doing well and you think her child is at risk, you could try calling Child Services and seeing if they can recommend something.

It sounds like she is having difficulty bonding with her baby... in Ontario Canada we have early years centers that offer free parenting and baby and me classes that can help with this... many mom's do not know how to play with their babies. She may not be finding the "joy of aprenting" she is always hearing about just the hard work and seemingly thankless drudgery. I would suggest heading out together to a library program for mom's and tots together, or even just get out to a park and let the little ones play together. Many over whelmed mom's use food to substitute for love and afection... child wants cuddles they get a cookie, child wants to engage mommy in play they get a cookie, child has a tummy ache from too many cookies they get a bottle and bed!

Youyr friend may be genuinly overwhelmed and not know any better, she may feel if she is doing the minimum of feeding, changing, and making sure Jr. gets his naps that she is doing her best as a parent. She may have post partum and not be up for much more. However she is neglecting his emotional needs and setting herself up for some REAL TROUBLE later on in life.

She may not know that having a whiny emotionally demanding child can be a warning sign. She needs a parenting course NOW, before thigns get out of hand, and if she is unwilling then Child protective services may be the answer... honestly if she gets a good worker she may just get the help she needs, but it is A POTENTIAL FREINDSHIP BREAKER! However, the life of a child may be worth it.

She may not realize that learning to play with and enjoy her child may solve many of her problems. Meeting a child's emotional needs makes for a happier child. Two is not too late, but may be just in time. She may also need to learn about how to dicipline a toddler ( and I am not talking about spanking here but teaching a child bounderies is a way of providing for their emotional well being). Help her learn how to give a time out to a toddler.

I think she needs a credable, knowledgable professional to tell her that your parenting needs to be critiqued otherwise, she'll probably just get angry and defensive and it's going to snowball into a fight. Just remind her that she should give her son more attention, he needs his mother now more than any other time in his life.