...you can't stop listening to "I Won't Be Home For Christmas" or "Happy Holidays, You b*****d".

"I Won't Be Home For Christmas"

(Out of tune carolers singing)
Outside, the carolers start to sing.
I can't describe the joy they bring
'cause joy is something they don't bring me.

My girlfriend is by my side.
From the roof are hanging sicles of ice.
Their whiney voices get irritating.
It's Christmas time again.

So I stand with a dead smile on my face,
Wondering how much of my time they'll waste.
Oh God, I hate these Satan's helpers.

And then I guess I must have snapped,
because I grabbed the baseball bat
and made them all run for shelter.

It's Christmas time again.
It's time to be nice to the people you can't stand all year.
I'm growing tired of all this Christmas cheer.
You people scare me.
Please stay away from my home.
If you don't wanna get beat down,
just leave the presents and let me be alone.

Well, I guess it's not cool to freak on Christmas Eve,
'cause the cops came and arrested me.
They had an unfair advantage.

And even though the jail didn't have a tree,
Christmas came a night early,
'cause some guy named Bubba unwrapped my package.
(Hot damn!)

It's Christmas time again.
It's time to be nice to the people you can't stand all year.
I'm growing tired of all this Christmas cheer.
You people scare me.
Please stay away from my home.
If you don't get beat down,
just leave the presents and let me be alone.

I won't be home, I won't be home for Christmas.
I won't be home, I won't be home for Christmas.(Please post my bail!)
I won't be home, I won't be home for Christmas.(Please post my bail!)
I won't be home, I won't be home for Christmas.(Please post my bail!)
I won't be home, I won't be home for Christmas.(Please post my bail!)
I won't be home, I won't be home for Christmas.


"Happy Holidays, You b*****d"

It's Christmas Eve and I've only wrapped two ********' presents.
It's Christmas Eve and I've only wrapped two ********' presents.
And I hate, hate, hate your guts.
I hate, hate, hate your guts.

And I'll never talk to you again,
unless your dad will suck me off.
I'll never talk to you again,
unless your mom will touch my c**k.
I'll never talk to you again,
ejaculate into a sock.
I'll never talk to you again,
I'll never talk to you again.

It's Labor Day and my grandpa just ate seven ********' hotdogs.
It's Labor Day and my grandpa just ate seven ********' hotdogs.
And he s**t, s**t, s**t his pants.
He's always ********' shittin' his pants.

And I'll never talk to you again,
unless your dad will suck me off.
I'll never talk to you again,
unless your mom will touch my c**k.
I'll never talk to you again,
ejaculate into a sock.
I'll never talk to you again,
I'll never talk to you again.

Happy Holidays, everyone!
whee