|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
 Posted: Tue Dec 19, 2006 2:51 pm
Thanks to everyone who posted here <3 I've calmed down a bit, and am currently trying to sort things out. <333
T.T
These past 5 days have seemed so terrible... it seems like everything I touch breaks... everyone I talk to gets mad at me... so much that I've seemed to know as the truth is turning up a lie...
I think I'm going to isolate myself again like I did a few years back, and I don't want to D:
I guess I should explain... A few years ago, the only friends I ever had turned on me. I got teased and insulted every day, but I didn't have the will to fight back, and since they were my only friends I took everything they said about me seriously. Eventually I just stopped trusting people as a way to protect myself. The only people I trusted were adults. I ignored anyone who tried to talk to me, and focused solely on my grades. Near the end of the year I finally got a new friend and moved on.
And now, even though I have friends, I'm afraid I'm going to again. And the strict subconscious rule of my protection is that I don't speak to anyone who isn't an adult. That would mean I would be abandoning my friends for my own protection, and I don't want to do that D: I might even end up ignoring everyone on gaia too, or stop going on all together and I DEFINITELY don't want that to happen.
I'm a bit afraid of posting this because I'm unsure of how people's reactions are going to be, but I spent all this typing it, so I'm going to take the risk and post it.
And before anyone asks, I am NOT emo. I greatly value life.
O.O I've been crying the whole time I've been typing this. ANd I rarely ever cry O.O
Just typing this out though has helped alot. The shaking and upset stomach have gone away, and my headache has reduced.
And now I have some person I don't even know that I've only pmed with for about 10 minutes ignore listing me because they think I'm some self-centered female dog who's only acting nice. Well, I'll congradulate (sp?) them for deciding to flame someone they don't even know at the worst possible time
|
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Tue Dec 19, 2006 2:59 pm
gonk heart *snuggles*
Try not to isolate yourself. Really, try. If that's not what you want, then you can fight it. You can do this. Everything will be okay, you just need to keep going.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Tue Dec 19, 2006 3:04 pm
.+:{ }:+.
heart heart heart heart heart heart heart heart
Kitty. Do something you enjoy just for a little bit to calm down.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Tue Dec 19, 2006 3:04 pm
InternalHardDrive gonk heart *snuggles* Try not to isolate yourself. Really, try. If that's not what you want, then you can fight it. You can do this. Everything will be okay, you just need to keep going. I'm trying, but things just keep getting worse crying
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Tue Dec 19, 2006 3:05 pm
Kitty Krazy InternalHardDrive gonk heart *snuggles* Try not to isolate yourself. Really, try. If that's not what you want, then you can fight it. You can do this. Everything will be okay, you just need to keep going. I'm trying, but things just keep getting worse crying Sometimes they do...but you have to believe in yourself and you have to keep going, no matter how bad things get. You CAN do it. <3 I know it's hard...trust me. But you caaan. *snugs* What's going on now that's causing this? D:
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Tue Dec 19, 2006 3:10 pm
InternalHardDrive Kitty Krazy InternalHardDrive gonk heart *snuggles* Try not to isolate yourself. Really, try. If that's not what you want, then you can fight it. You can do this. Everything will be okay, you just need to keep going. I'm trying, but things just keep getting worse crying Sometimes they do...but you have to believe in yourself and you have to keep going, no matter how bad things get. You CAN do it. <3 I know it's hard...trust me. But you caaan. *snugs* What's going on now that's causing this? D: It's hard to explain. Especially since explaining would mean spilling a few secrets of mine, and I really don't want to do that, y'know? And I know I can go on, and I will go on, just with or without friends, and with the way things are going the second choice seems more and more likely.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Tue Dec 19, 2006 3:13 pm
Kitty Krazy It's hard to explain. Especially since explaining would mean spilling a few secrets of mine, and I really don't want to do that, y'know? And I know I can go on, and I will go on, just with or without friends, and with the way things are going the second choice seems more and more likely. Understandable. *snuggles* Why? Are your current friends treating you the same way? Does it feel like the same sort of things going on?
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Tue Dec 19, 2006 3:14 pm
Write a journal entry.
That's what I did when I had my breakdown. 3nodding heart
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Tue Dec 19, 2006 3:17 pm
InternalHardDrive Kitty Krazy It's hard to explain. Especially since explaining would mean spilling a few secrets of mine, and I really don't want to do that, y'know? And I know I can go on, and I will go on, just with or without friends, and with the way things are going the second choice seems more and more likely. Understandable. *snuggles* Why? Are your current friends treating you the same way? Does it feel like the same sort of things going on? No, not at all, though one of my friends do hate me now. But my friendships are at risk in the fact that they'll go away if my subconscious decides that it's time to go into isolation, which is why I'm trying to fight my subconscious for control over its isolation tactics.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Tue Dec 19, 2006 3:21 pm
Kitty Krazy InternalHardDrive Kitty Krazy It's hard to explain. Especially since explaining would mean spilling a few secrets of mine, and I really don't want to do that, y'know? And I know I can go on, and I will go on, just with or without friends, and with the way things are going the second choice seems more and more likely. Understandable. *snuggles* Why? Are your current friends treating you the same way? Does it feel like the same sort of things going on? No, not at all, though one of my friends do hate me now. But my friendships are at risk in the fact that they'll go away if my subconscious decides that it's time to go into isolation, which is why I'm trying to fight my subconscious for control over its isolation tactics. Eeep. D: heart Tell your subconscious to STFU because you want to keep your friendships, it's not the same sort of situation, and it's not wanted. <3 I suggest not even entertaining the idea of it coming back and doing that. If you imagine it in your mind, you're furthering the thoughts, and that's not really good. @w@ heart
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Tue Dec 19, 2006 3:29 pm
InternalHardDrive Kitty Krazy InternalHardDrive Kitty Krazy It's hard to explain. Especially since explaining would mean spilling a few secrets of mine, and I really don't want to do that, y'know? And I know I can go on, and I will go on, just with or without friends, and with the way things are going the second choice seems more and more likely. Understandable. *snuggles* Why? Are your current friends treating you the same way? Does it feel like the same sort of things going on? No, not at all, though one of my friends do hate me now. But my friendships are at risk in the fact that they'll go away if my subconscious decides that it's time to go into isolation, which is why I'm trying to fight my subconscious for control over its isolation tactics. Eeep. D: heart Tell your subconscious to STFU because you want to keep your friendships, it's not the same sort of situation, and it's not wanted. <3 I suggest not even entertaining the idea of it coming back and doing that. If you imagine it in your mind, you're furthering the thoughts, and that's not really good. @w@ heart Yeah... it's not easy to just stop thinking about something though, because then you're thinking about stopping thinking it and therefore are thinking it, which puts you back at block one. sweatdrop
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Tue Dec 19, 2006 3:32 pm
Kitty Krazy Yeah... it's not easy to just stop thinking about something though, because then you're thinking about stopping thinking it and therefore are thinking it, which puts you back at block one. sweatdrop Try diverting yourself...like, if you start thinking about it, distract yourself. Get a book, watch TV, something to occupy your mind. Or simply start thinking about something else, if that works, too. I had to do that with myself. @w@ <3
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Tue Dec 19, 2006 3:38 pm
InternalHardDrive Kitty Krazy Yeah... it's not easy to just stop thinking about something though, because then you're thinking about stopping thinking it and therefore are thinking it, which puts you back at block one. sweatdrop Try diverting yourself...like, if you start thinking about it, distract yourself. Get a book, watch TV, something to occupy your mind. Or simply start thinking about something else, if that works, too. I had to do that with myself. @w@ <3 I'm not good at diverting myself. My way of diverting myself from something is usually gaia, but when gaia's involved in what I want to divert myself from, then it won't exactly help, will it? But I think one of my problems is kinda being resolved through pms now, so I have to stay on and see what direction it goes.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Tue Dec 19, 2006 3:41 pm
inasanemonkey1230 Write a journal entry. That's what I did when I had my breakdown. 3nodding heart Journals have never helped me. Usually poems work better, but I am suffering from a severe headache and a case of writers block XP
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Tue Dec 19, 2006 3:41 pm
Kitty Krazy InternalHardDrive Kitty Krazy Yeah... it's not easy to just stop thinking about something though, because then you're thinking about stopping thinking it and therefore are thinking it, which puts you back at block one. sweatdrop Try diverting yourself...like, if you start thinking about it, distract yourself. Get a book, watch TV, something to occupy your mind. Or simply start thinking about something else, if that works, too. I had to do that with myself. @w@ <3 I'm not good at diverting myself. My way of diverting myself from something is usually gaia, but when gaia's involved in what I want to divert myself from, then it won't exactly help, will it? But I think one of my problems is kinda being resolved through pms now, so I have to stay on and see what direction it goes. Well, you could do something artistic...read...go somewhere...things like that? That's good. <3
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Reply
