- I swear I didn't have to spell check homicide. ninja
Anyway. I haven't made a topic in a while and there are lots of things I want to talk about. I could make a journal entry but I can't because I haven't done everything I said I'd do yet, and less people read that. (<3 those that do)
Just don't be shocked when I switch from a happy =DD tone to a slightly crazy, frantic, really, really scared one. >_>;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;
Anyway. So I went to Cabela's today with my family because it was this employee discount night where everyone got MORE than 10% off for buying s**t. And my step dad works there, so yeah. And I was there for shoes, and I got a pair of tennis shoes that are boring and you don't care about. BUT I ALSO GOT A HAT AND DARK CHOCOLATE. And dark chocolate is amazing and sexy and I'm eating it right now and MMMSOOOGOOD. And my hat... well, I'ma see if I can find a picture.
Mine is the grey one on the bottom half.
And I'll see if I can get a pic.....
Lawlz, it's really hot on. It doesn't look like this weird hunting cap on Pixie, because Pixie is amazing.
Also, I want striped scarves from relitives this christmas....because they're hot....
Lawlz and homicice is suposed to be next but I'll add my failing of school.
Sososoo I'm failing every class but I don't give a s**t. I'ma try and pass my two semester classes (Amer. History and Spanish 2) because I don't want to redo those, but I don't give a s**t about Geo or English. Oh yeah, and I'ma try to pass Phys. Science becauese I'm repeating it.....
Anyway, I'm working on switching to an internet school as most of you know. I'm planning on officially enrolling later this morning which pisses me off because I sent the email I was supoed to send a month ago, but hotmail ate it and didn't put it in my sent box, and my step dad deleted my essay I had sent from the computer. Wanted to kill them both. It was icky because I've NEVER had an email eaten by hotmail before. And it gave me a notice saying it had been delayed, but it really never got sent.
And yeah. I don't plan on going back to public school after christmas break. A week there at most. I'ma send the email in G Mail this time. <3
AND NOW THE HOMICIDALNESS.
So I had a slight suidical phase around early October. Because I hated school and being around spiro (stepdad) and everything. And then the end of october my mom brought up the online school. Sooo there wasn't that. And I decided I didn't want to die. So I wasn't suicidal before. And yeah, anyone who's talked to me preguild or outside of the guild probably knows I really hate him. He's supid and mean and icky and s**t like that. And I get in fights with him all the time. I try to avoid him (I live in my bedroom, avoid family activities with him present, am never in the same room as him...etc). But sometimes I slip up. And when I get into a fight with him I get so ******** pissed and I hate him so much I want to kill him. That phrase is used so much nowdays. I want to kill him...I got suspended for saying that JUST THAT to a teacher in fourth grade for pissing me off. People say it all the time, just offhand, when they're really pissed. The thing you need to understand is that I mean it. I really do. I want to kill him. I know how I'm going to do it. I think about it almost longingly. And then I'm like LAWLZ IF I KILL HIM I COULD BE TRIED AS AN ADULT IN COURT AND IN DEEP s**t FOR ******** LIFE KTHX. But when I'm in full rage and pissed as hell I don't think about it. And yeah, I want to strangle him in his sleep. The only thing is, he could wake up so I need a backup. And then I realize I'm trying to figure out a surefire way to really really kill someone, and that scares me. But what I'm worried about is that I'll be having a terrible fight with him and I'll give up. Just stop. And if I do that I know it means I'm going to do it. So when I fight with him I get really vicious and scathing and rude and rough. And my mom says she's going to try and get out soon, but then she said she was going to look for places this weekend earier last week and she didn't. Maybe it was 2 weeks ago and last weekend....doesn't matter, either way she didn't do it. And that pisses me off. She means well, but she doesn't do s**t and too much later and I really will. >_>
Anyway. I'm done.
Estellio Estel
