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 Posted: Sun Jun 19, 2005 12:04 pm
Do any of you ever get really anxious? You know, sick feeling in your stomach that won't go away, you're constantly turning things over in your head, you don't eat much because you're either too stressed or, while in the middle of eating, you just get repulsed by it, you're always moving in some way (rocking back and forth, bouncing your leg, tapping a pencil)?
Last year I got this way because I really needed to leave my house, but I was told I couldn't move out with the family I was moving to for a while. I got incredibly nervous, I shut myself out, I lost 29lbs, and crying was a daily, if not hourly, thing. I prayed and prayed and prayed for it all to end. Eventually it did, but it was the worst feeling I ever went through.
Well now it's happening again. I moved, but I'm back at my mom's now. It was supposed to only be for a few weeks, but it's been turned into months. And now I'm being told I may never go home. The guy I like (my best friend, my ex, and the boy I moved in with...oi vey!) won't talk to me anymore. He hasn't spoken to me in three months. That worries me because I still strongly feel as if we're meant for each other and that the Lord had something planned for us in life (beyond marriage that is). I miss him deeply, and I still love him. But I can't talk to him (everytime I try he ignores me) and unless I get home he most likely will never talk to me again (from the looks of it).
If I'm stuck here it's going to get BAD. It already is bad but my mom's starting to get worse. I already can feel how me staying here is taking a toll on me spiritually. I don't wanna go through this again. I keep praying and praying that He will send me home, that things will work out, that me and my ex can work things out (first as friends of course, but hopefully as a couple again sometime). I read my bible, I pray constantly (literally! I probably pray every twenty minutes, thats how scared I am), and I'm trying to be strong. But I'm so scared. I wish someone from my church would offer to take me in until things at home got better but I don't think any of them would.
I'm really freaking out here. Anyone know what to do or know what this feels like?
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Posted: Sun Jun 19, 2005 6:44 pm
Philippians 1:12-14
12Now I want you to know, brothers, that what has happened to me has really served to advance the gospel. 13As a result, it has become clear throughout the whole palace guard and to everyone else that I am in chains for Christ. 14Because of my chains, most of the brothers in the Lord have been encouraged to speak the word of God more courageously and fearlessly.
Philippians 1:27-30
27Whatever happens, conduct yourselves in a manner worthy of the gospel of Christ. Then, whether I come and see you or only hear about you in my absence, I will know that you stand firm in one spirit, contending as one man for the faith of the gospel 28without being frightened in any way by those who oppose you. This is a sign to them that they will be destroyed, but that you will be saved—and that by God. 29For it has been granted to you on behalf of Christ not only to believe on him, but also to suffer for him, 30since you are going through the same struggle you saw I had, and now hear that I still have
Pain and suffering is a little talked about part of the Christian life. But it is the greatest blessing you can receive.
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Posted: Mon Jun 20, 2005 11:45 am
I just wanna know why I have to go through this exact same thing AGAIN! But this time I might not be released from it. I don't mind going through the pain and all if I can go home. But I'm SCARED because He might not deliver me back home!
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Posted: Tue Jun 21, 2005 3:56 am
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Posted: Tue Jun 21, 2005 11:58 am
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Posted: Fri Jun 24, 2005 10:35 am
We will pray for you sister. heart
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Posted: Fri Jun 24, 2005 8:42 pm
Fozzibear_12_ We will pray for you sister. heart *huggles* thank you blaugh heart
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