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A Tale of Two Elves Goto Page: 1 2 [>] [»|]

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A college education shows a man
  how stupid other people are.
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Biological_Warfare

PostPosted: Thu Dec 14, 2006 7:23 pm


Just to let you know, I have absolutely no clue what is going to happen and absolutely no specific plotline. Basically it's good versus bad.
PostPosted: Thu Dec 14, 2006 7:25 pm


Chapters:

Prelude:A Demon's Answer

Biological_Warfare


Biological_Warfare

PostPosted: Thu Dec 14, 2006 7:25 pm


Characters:

((will reveal as story progresses))
PostPosted: Thu Dec 14, 2006 7:26 pm


Prelude

****************************

A Demon's Answer

Springtime was leaving and summer was just around the corner. The trees were budded with leaves and the flowers were poking their heads out of the rich, dark soil. The lush, green grass was dotted with morning dew, while luscious ferns glistened wetly in the shadows of the high canopy of trees. Songbirds serenaded the forest as the sun peeked over the horizon unseen while squirrels chittered and chattered, hopping branches or scurrying through the undergrowth. A line of carpenter ants marched across the cleared, stone-lined path carrying their thin, green burdens. A shadow falls upon the line and the ants scramble out of the way as the foot falls, breaking the line and leaving its impression in the hard-packed path.

The man continued down the road, oblivious to his surroundings. He was tall with a medium build which was partly conceiled by a long flowing cloak. It was a dark, blood red with gold trimming along the edges, and silver designs of bloodhounds. A matching court hat with an eagle's feather was perched on his mosley brown hair precariously. His eyes were violet, a rare color, and they were cold and heartless. His nose was small and pointed while his mouth seemed to have been plastered onto his face with a neutral expression. His large, dark-skinned hands with their long, gnarly fingers swung limply as his feet beat a steady rhythm upon the ground.

The trees branched away from the path, revealing a clearing. Ten, two-story tents stood up tall in the space. One stood in the exact center while the other nine radiated away in triangles like hulking sentinels. The outer tents were so garishly colored that they are painfull to the eyes when looked at directly. In contrast, the central tent was divided in half with one side white and the other black.

Into this midst did the well-dressed man walk into unblinkingly. Weaving through the cloth dwellings, he arrived at the black and white tent, passing through a "door" of black and white beads. The room was so bright that a normal person's eyes would have watered with pain, Yet the man showed no sign of distress as he looked around at the walls, desk, and the man behind the desk working busily. Every once in a while, he would stack a pile of coins onto a sheet of paper, wave his had, and the paper and coins would disappear. The cold-eyed man waited impatiently for the clerk to notice him. He was not used to waiting.

-------------------------


Finally, the clerk looked up at the man. "Ah, Advisor Kire. We've been expecting you. Follow me please." The clerk stood up and opened a cloth door in the wall that led to a brightly lit staircase. "She'll be waiting for you. Don't bump your head on the tra-," He was cut off as Kire stepped past him and started up. The clerk shrugged. "Suit yourself."

Kire swept up the stairs, his hand lifting up a cloth trapdoor. He entered a room where, once he let go of the entry, he was plunged into darkness as he fleetingly saw a mass of red hair and a black and white tablecloth apparantely floating with a crystal ball sitting on top. The only things that could be seen were vague outlines of two people, one sitting at a table in the middle with an extra chair, and Kire's purple eyes, as if they were small, flickering fires shedding light. Kire's arm rose, fingers cupped as if holding a small ball. "I do not find answers in the light, Advisor." A rough but distinctly feminine voice said.

Kire paused then let his arm drop as he moved to sit down. As the chair moaned quietly underhis weight, he said in his cold, monotone voice, "You know my question. What is my answer?"

"All in due time. The Foretelling has sets its own pace and will not hurry or slow."

Kire grunted in impatience. Minutes drug by as they both stared into the crystal ball. The woman's hands hovered over it, like vultures waiting for the lion to die. She let out a sigh as she closed her eyes. When they opened again, they emitted a pale, white light and her pupils had completely disappeared.

Kire leaned forward eagerly as a different voice, clear and melodious, burst forth from her mouth.

Biological_Warfare


KirbyVictorious

PostPosted: Thu Dec 14, 2006 8:14 pm


EEEEEEEEEEEELVES!

ILOVEYOU.
PostPosted: Fri Dec 15, 2006 2:00 pm


The detail! It BURNS! gonk


Uh, anyway...


Yeah, a little overboard on the details, but a good start.

Reese_Roper


Biological_Warfare

PostPosted: Fri Dec 15, 2006 4:53 pm


KirbyVictorious
EEEEEEEEEEEELVES!

ILOVEYOU.


The main character is going to be an elf blaugh

Reese_Roper
The detail! It BURNS! gonk


Uh, anyway...


Yeah, a little overboard on the details, but a good start.


Well, I noticed with most of the good books like Lord of the Rings are heavily detailed.

I'm glad I have two people who actually like it blaugh

But I probably won't be able to post more until next week at the earliest, at least story wise. crying
PostPosted: Fri Dec 15, 2006 5:04 pm


I dont know. You painted a brilliant picture but... hmm you might want to introduce a hook earlier on.

thats just me though ^_--

NovaKing


Biological_Warfare

PostPosted: Fri Dec 15, 2006 5:15 pm


Don't worry. There will be plenty of destruction later on in the Prolouge. I'm afraid though that I'm also going to use the much used prophesy in the Prolouge also.
PostPosted: Fri Dec 15, 2006 5:16 pm


Biological_Warfare


Reese_Roper
The detail! It BURNS! gonk


Uh, anyway...


Yeah, a little overboard on the details, but a good start.


Well, I noticed with most of the good books like Lord of the Rings are heavily detailed.

I'm glad I have two people who actually like it blaugh

But I probably won't be able to post more until next week at the earliest, at least story wise. crying


Yes, but if you use TOO much detail it simply gets boring, and people won't continue reading. I myself find that I just skip heavily detailed parts, and get on with the rest of the story.

Reese_Roper


Biological_Warfare

PostPosted: Fri Dec 15, 2006 5:19 pm


Well, I'll probably only use a whole lot of detail when I'm describing the surroundings. I'll try to keep the details contained everywhere else but the scene is a major part of a story.
PostPosted: Fri Dec 15, 2006 6:44 pm


Biological_Warfare
Well, I'll probably only use a whole lot of detail when I'm describing the surroundings. I'll try to keep the details contained everywhere else but the scene is a major part of a story.


yeah i know but i need a hook to make me look at it.

NovaKing


Biological_Warfare

PostPosted: Wed Dec 20, 2006 4:08 pm


Usually I do too. Usually, if I'm reading a new book, I read two or five chapters in and if it's still boring, I'll stop reading it. I'm planning on having a little bit of action in the prolouge kind of and the first and second chapters will have between a third and a half action. Maybe I should say that by what I mean is fighting. So please bear with me. I need people to help me. gonk

Oh and I have good and bad news.

Good news is that I've written a few more paragraph's into the story.

Bad news is that I might not be able to get it up today and I'm stuck on writing the prophesy ((I know, very cliche))
PostPosted: Thu Dec 21, 2006 1:43 pm


Biological_Warfare
Usually I do too. Usually, if I'm reading a new book, I read two or five chapters in and if it's still boring, I'll stop reading it. I'm planning on having a little bit of action in the prolouge kind of and the first and second chapters will have between a third and a half action. Maybe I should say that by what I mean is fighting. So please bear with me. I need people to help me. gonk

Oh and I have good and bad news.

Good news is that I've written a few more paragraph's into the story.

Bad news is that I might not be able to get it up today and I'm stuck on writing the prophesy ((I know, very cliche))


A story wihout a strong begining is much like a battle ship without sails, Neither of them are going anywhere quickly.

[edit]

NovaKing


KirbyVictorious

PostPosted: Thu Dec 21, 2006 6:51 pm


good metaphor.

And I agree.

But tons of people get away with it every day *sigh* I hate it when you read a book and th author sucks! And to think, my book might have been rejected, too. *sigh*
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