|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
 Posted: Thu Dec 14, 2006 3:05 pm
“Do Not Tell”
Hush, do not tell
This secret’s mine and yours as well
Tell no one where it is we lie;
Boy and boy down side by side.
Tossing, turning, now face to face,
My heart begins a familiar race
And together in the darkest black
Our hands run down each others back.
Two minds, two dreams, two pounding hearts;
Scales of passion off the charts,
And on this night we’re all alone
In a world of creation, our very own.
Soon whispers fill the dark night’s air,
To your eyes I sit and stare;
Thinking, pondering, wandering there
Where we are is not a care.
Stories refold
And secrets disperse,
Only to lie under Daylight’s curse
Leaving only us
The ones who know.
|
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Thu Dec 14, 2006 3:08 pm
heart ur such a good poet
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Tue Dec 19, 2006 2:00 pm
I like it. Very well written. mrgreen
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Tue Dec 26, 2006 10:08 pm
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Wed Dec 27, 2006 12:26 pm
wonderful biggrin biggrin heart
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Wed Dec 27, 2006 6:51 pm
Your ability to manipulate words is quite outstanding.
Personally, I think that there are better ways to draw out the scene you are trying to get across.
((More details needed?))
Is anyone else seeing that this poem lacks.. warmth.. emotion... color? It leaves me feeling cold and shallow....
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Mon Jan 01, 2007 2:01 am
Thanks, and sorry about the cold feeling, my poetry is a bit... distant at times, not sure as to why but it happens. I have some more that I may post sometime in the near future, maybe some of those will leave you with a bit more...
~Sorrow
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Mon Jan 01, 2007 9:59 am
I thought it was hot. Heheh, but seriously, good job.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Mon Jan 01, 2007 2:57 pm
I like it. Haven't played the video game, but I loved the book. This is really nice. Good job.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Mon Jan 01, 2007 10:26 pm
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Thu Jan 04, 2007 1:12 pm
*wonders where people got that idea from*
no, it's not about a book...
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Tue Jan 09, 2007 8:19 pm
Shredded Sorrows Thanks, and sorry about the cold feeling, my poetry is a bit... distant at times, not sure as to why but it happens. I have some more that I may post sometime in the near future, maybe some of those will leave you with a bit more... ~Sorrow I'd like to see that. heart
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sat Jan 13, 2007 2:04 pm
"Still Beating"
In this God-forsaken land
My heart lies beating in your hand,
It will beat forever on
Until the love it feels is gone.
In land as black as raven's wing,
Blowing wind to make it sting,
My pulse is slow, yet it's there;
Still you hold without a care.
Why is it the you will not see
What it is you've done to me?
My heart still lies in icy grip;
My soul is tearing, I watch it rip.
I cannot stand this pain much longer,
So why is it your hold grows stronger?
I do not want to be like this
With memories of our shattered bliss.
Please, hear my plea:
Let me go, let me be,
Free me from this nightmare land,
Release my heart, still beating, from your hand.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sat Jan 13, 2007 2:09 pm
love it as always heart
u could make a career out of this
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Thu Jan 25, 2007 5:40 pm
your a really good poet. i like the first one the best heart but the second one is good too. cool
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Reply
