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 Posted: Thu Dec 07, 2006 7:46 pm
I am soooo insecure about my sexuality.
Sometimes i wish i was just like everyone else around me and didn't have to worry about it, about criticism and such. I don't know anyone around me who's bi who i trust, who i can have like, a serious conversation with.
I mean... i know it sounds really dumb but i feel like i need someone whos in my situation to reassure me (even though i'm used to doing the reassuring myself)
I'm just afraid of facing my parents if they found out and facing everyone around me... because i live in this total conservative town, there were protests in front of the movie theatre when brokeback mountain was playing... they shut it down... and just the amount of critisizm that goes around... it scares me.
How do i overcome this insecurity? do i just deal?
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Posted: Sat Dec 09, 2006 9:10 pm
I know how it is, and its scary.
I questioned myself before about my sexuality and its hard. Because then you think about who you can talk to it about or what will happen if you tell someone. It is a lot of stress, I know how it feels. I went though it myself. I didn't have to go though it, but I did because its all I could think about.
Its hard to come over insecurity. I've dealt with it my entire life. But then you think about things, you slow down, and you learn how to cope with how things are.
My story is I just wasn't sure. I could be, then I couldn't be, but then it was a possibility, but then would people accept it. I mean, it just got to the point where its all I thought about until I just let it go when I heard a quote.
"Its the person that matters, not the gender." And that was it. I just dropped the whole thing and just said to myself I wouldn't deal with it.
I like men, but its hard for myself to by submissive so I could never see myself in a relationship. I could be with a women, but I would never be sexually attracted to one even though I would feel comfortable being the dominate one.
So like I said, I just forgot about the whole and just said 'If the right person ever shows up, then I'll know.'
And its worked. If you just let something happen it works out better. And I have to admit, it let a lot of stress of my shoulders. I was finally back on track with school and other things.
It still sticks in your head, but you get used to it and soon you'll just forget about it. And you'll feel better. You'll honestly feel better when you stop worrying.
I know there’s a difference between having a someone in person to talk to vs. talking to someone online about your problems, but just know we're here for you.
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Posted: Sat Dec 09, 2006 9:29 pm
thanks!
For the past couple years i have just let it go and let what happens happen.
I've gone through that same thing... questioning whether i am or not... i still do sometimes but i've mostly just accepted that i am.
Its not that i'm insecure about being bi... i'm just afriad of peoples reactions around me. Like... they can think whatever they want about me because of who i am but in this town it goes beyond that... it gets personal and it gets violent.
And now... I am actually looking for a relationship... but if i openly said i was bi then people would freak out and who knows what would happen... i know because i see all the persecution my gay friends get.
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Posted: Sat Dec 09, 2006 11:15 pm
Yeah. Then it comes down to courage and how willing you are to make sacerfices.
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Posted: Sun Dec 10, 2006 7:21 pm
hmmm.... I'm not sure if i'm willing yet... sweatdrop stressed
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Posted: Mon Dec 11, 2006 5:56 pm
And that's fine, it takes time. There's no need to rush anything.
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Posted: Tue Dec 12, 2006 11:42 am
thats wxaclty how i feel...i question myself at time too, but it will eventualy all become clear in time.
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Posted: Wed Dec 13, 2006 7:39 pm
wink I decided to tell my parents after i get into college...
The problem at this point... i want a girlfriend... but i don't know anyone.
rolleyes
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Posted: Wed Dec 13, 2006 7:40 pm
And well i can't really get a girlfriend because i'm afriad of telling people i'm bi because i'm afraid of my parents findindout and i'm afraid of getting ******** up because of it.
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Posted: Mon Dec 18, 2006 7:50 am
Myspace actually works really well.
I've met so many guys in my area through myspace. of course, none of them turned out to be my type...
Anyway, give that a try, just look up single lesbians in your area.
But be careful of course.
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Posted: Tue Dec 19, 2006 2:55 am
Harry Hood Myspace actually works really well. I've met so many guys in my area through myspace. of course, none of them turned out to be my type... Anyway, give that a try, just look up single lesbians in your area. But be careful of course.
I'd say, if you don't want people to know, then, as sad as this may be, I think you should wait a while before looking for girls to date. 'Cause as much as you probably don't want to hear this, people will find out. It just happens. The same way people seem to figure out who you're crushing on even if you don't tell them, or even hint at it. It just happens. :/
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Posted: Tue Dec 19, 2006 11:19 am
I haven't run into any danger on myspace. And I've met a lot of neat guys through it.
In fact, I'm meeting someone today. biggrin
Just because there's a few weirdos out there doesn't mean you should never trust anybody ever.
And if you need hardcore proof that someone is really real, ask for a picture of something extremely random and specific.
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Posted: Tue Dec 19, 2006 12:00 pm
Harry Hood I haven't run into any danger on myspace. And I've met a lot of neat guys through it. In fact, I'm meeting someone today. biggrin Just because there's a few weirdos out there doesn't mean you should never trust anybody ever. And if you need hardcore proof that someone is really real, ask for a picture of something extremely random and specific. That still doesn't prove anything. There are some real sickos on the 'net, who can pretty much do anything to "prove" that they're legit, and to get naive people to trust them. Any type of picture you'd could ever ask for, they could find.
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Posted: Tue Dec 19, 2006 1:04 pm
But if their pictures are fake, that means they stole them from someone else. If you asked for a picture of, say, them with "I love whales" written on the palm of their hand, they wouldn't be able to get it from the person they've been stealing pictures from.
They could attempt to photoshop it, but it would just look fake.
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Posted: Tue Dec 19, 2006 1:22 pm
Harry Hood But if their pictures are fake, that means they stole them from someone else. If you asked for a picture of, say, them with "I love whales" written on the palm of their hand, they wouldn't be able to get it from the person they've been stealing pictures from. They could attempt to photoshop it, but it would just look fake. That's not necessarily true. Believe me, I know what I'm talking about. Like that girl who pretended to be a guy for like, a year before she finally told me. She'd sent me loads of pictures that she'd found on some photobucket account. Luckily for her, the person she stole the pictures from was a real camera whore, and kept posting pictures on like...a biweekly bases. x.X;; Ever since then, i've learned not to trust people I meet on the net. And yeah, if you ask for something as obscure as that, maybe they wouldn't be able to find it. But if I was in that position, and someone asked me for a picture like that, i'd just tell them to STFU and stop being so paranoid. Even if i'd been telling them the truth. Of course, maybe that's just me. xD
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