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 Posted: Tue Nov 21, 2006 4:24 pm
((Oh yes, again. XD))
Once Inali had found out she wasn't with foal, she had calmed down a bit from her early shock. Though she had lost her purity, she still felt... well, she felt better, to be honest. As long as no pregnancy resulted from the rather sudden event, she didn't have to worry, did she? It was such a relief... though she could never run that risk again. Never again.
Taking time to enjoy the sunshine, Inali stepped into a large path of it near her own teepee within the forest. The sun hit her back, the dark colors absorbing the heat in a way that was simply delicious, taking away the ache from her muscles and the headache that came from days of constant weeping. She was being silly and immature, that's what it was. She had to recover from a love she knew wouldn't be returned ever, and from a stallion that she had taken advantage of just as much as he had taken advantage of her.
Still... If I ever see him again, I'll eat him, Inali thought with a degree of finality. Oh yes, I will rip his head off, though I am no kalona. I can still enjoy /his/ flesh. Oh, very much so. Revenge wasn't exactly a new emotion in Inali's mind, just one that had never been displayed with such sudden, ardent fervor. Dear gods... All her sadness had been transformed into a burning anger that felt so much like passion, yet so different.
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Posted: Tue Nov 21, 2006 4:41 pm
Sunshine...it was strange how much you could be around something and fail to appreciate it. Of course, it was hard to appreciate anything when you were in a blue funk, but even before that it was doubtful that he had ever truly enjoyed the sunshine.
"Well...I guess that we all change, whether we like it or not." Murmuring softly to himself, the stallion stood in a patch of light, his eyes closed and his head upturned to enjoy the warmth. It felt so pleasant, standing here bathed in warmth...almost as though it were scouring away all of the troubles of his life.
Ok, that was probably a little melodramatic, but it was actually pretty close to how he was feeling these days, though it was doubtful that the sun itself was responsible. No, there was much more to his change of mind than simply the sun; it was just something that he could now appreciate.
In fact, he was appreciating it so much that he didn't realize that he wasn't alone...
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Posted: Tue Nov 21, 2006 4:48 pm
Inali was more than a little surprised to see Safi near her own clearing, eyes closed. He was clearly enjoying himself- did he know that this was near her home? Obviously not...
To tell the truth, Inali was entirely unsure what to do. Should she let him know that she was there, watching him, or should she sneak away when she had the chance? He looked so... happy. Part of her wanted to spoil that, ruin that, while other bits of her wanted to leave him in peace. Her prescence would only aggravate him and make him lose the look of bliss that seemed to suit his features so well.
Making up her mind, Inali coughed once, discreetly and quietly. "Safi? Er... Hello." He had the right to know that he wasn't going to be a father, at the very least. She owed him that... But did she? What if she told him that she was pregnant, and he was no doubt the father? The idea for mischief of a harmful sort appealed to Inali's current tumult of emotions, though she could not bring herself in all honesty to be that spiteful.
"Fancy seeing you here..." Closing her eyes against the flash of pain that came with memories, Inali hoofed the ground once, sheepishly. If he forgave her, perhaps she could work on forgiving him... If she tried really hard, that is. Memories wouldn't fade and she would never get her purity back, but apology seemed like a good step to take given the circumstances. But only if he did it first.
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Posted: Tue Nov 21, 2006 5:01 pm
He hadn't been expecting that; not in any way, shape, or form. For a brief, fleeting moment, Safi thought that his conscience was making a half-hearted attempt to drag him back down into that pit he'd so recently managed to climb out of. But no...this was real. He was standing in the woods...and Inali was here, talking to him.
Images flashed through his mind; memories of what had happened the last time that he had encountered her, what he had done to her...how he had abandoned her. Yet she was talking to him, and not in a hey-I'm-going-to-murder-you-you-b*****d sort of fashion.
Well, if she could bring herself to talk to him...the least he do was return the favor.
Lowering his head slightly, he returned her greeting with a nod. "I could say the same to you, Inali...I had no idea that I'd be running into anyone at all out here, let alone someone I knew." Smiling slightly, he managed to keep all but the tracest of shepish elements out of his expression. What did one say in a situation like this? "You're looking well." Ok, that last statement was pretty crass, and he was cringing as soon as he finished saying it. Dear God, what if she thought he was propasitioning her again? "I mean...rather..."
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Posted: Fri Nov 24, 2006 6:55 pm
If Safi only knew that the moment Inali heard him speak, she had wished to rip him apart, if only to make herself feel better. How she wished him somewhere else at the moment, dead preferably. Now now Inali, how rude of you. How very rude.
"You look... well yourself." And he did. He didn't look as if he suffered anything at all. She hated him at that moment, while envying him his apparently carefree nature. Still... he didn't look too well. Perhaps he had been lacking in sleep a bit, a tiny bit. It certainly looked as if he may have been. Hopefully...
Inali tried to settle her thoughts, tried to make them fair on Safi's behalf. She couldn't forever hold this grudge... But the temptation was so much, a burning sensation that seemed similar to the passion she had experienced with him. Instead of revealing her baneful, glaring eyes, Inali lowered her head to graze once more.
"How have you been?" A simple question, yet somehow a trap at the same time.
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Posted: Mon Nov 27, 2006 12:57 pm
Why on earth had he wanted to change his relationship with mares? Before things had been so simple, and now...well, this was awkward, for one thing; for another, Inali's eyes as she'd ducked her head were so venomous that if it were possible for looks to kill, he'd most likely be dead. Not like he didn't deserve it, of course, but she REALLY wasn't making it easy to apologize!
And that question of hers...how exaclty was he to respond to that? 'Things have sucked?' 'Life's been great?' 'I finally got my head examined?' This was just not fair!
So perhaps that was a sign; simplicity was the best. He nodded in acquiesence to her compliment, then raised his head a bit to relax himself. "Thanks, Inali; and I've been better in the distant past than I was in the recent past, but things have improved. I think I finally see what was wrong with my life before and what drove me to the insanity of trying to change it, but things have improved."
As he finished speaking, Safi pondered what to say next; techincally, in proper conversation one took turns; he complimented her, she complimented him, she asked how he was, he answered and asked how she was and so on and so forth.
Well...this was a time to break with that 'code'.
"Inali, I need to talk to you. About...what happened last time." A bit blunt, maybe, but Safi couldn't think of any other way to phrase it. Hopefully she wouldn't kill him....
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Posted: Mon Nov 27, 2006 7:17 pm
Talk was okay... talk was fine. Wasn't it? She could handle talk without ripping out his throat. Talk she could do. Talk would be fine. Inali had to run constant reassurance through her mind. Their last 'talk' hadn't gone so well, had it? Oh gods... She sent up a quick prayer to whatever soquili gods she could recall, before trying to fade the alarm from her eyes.
"What would you like to talk about?" Inali couldn't hold back a certain amount of distrust from her voice. How could she trust Safi now?
Oh, she knew exactly what Safi wanted to discuss, but that didn't mean she wanted to talk to him... not necessarily. "I'm not sure... I'm ready to talk about it. But sooner now then later, I suppose." She gave a wan smile, though it didn't reach her eyes.
"Let's get this over with... I'm not pregnant. I should at least say that to you. I owe you that much, I suppose."
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Posted: Tue Nov 28, 2006 12:09 pm
Ok, already they were running into trouble. Safi hadn't expected Inali to be enthusiastic, but her caustic tone was not making this any easier. Darn him and his need to tie up loose ends, anyway; if he didn't need to do things like that, then they wouldn't be in this situation!
And why did she have to tell him she wasn't pregnant? Given how much time had passed since their...encounter, he would have been hard-pressed to avoid noticing if she was. As things currently stood, though, he wasn't sure if her telling him that was an accusation or an insult on his intelligence, and frankly he didn't think it was a good time to try and find out.
"Well, that's good to know, but not quite what I meant." And it was; he wasn't sure WHAT they would have done if foals had come about from that lapse of judgement. "And I understand that maybe you aren't ready to discuss this, but we're together now and we might not be when and if you feel like you ARE." He wasn't really sure if he was making sense, but his eyes were sincere. He just wanted to make things right, for once.
"Obviously last time we had a distinct lack of..." What was a good word here, anyway? "Verbal discussion. And I think that we left things on the wrong hoof. Or I did, at least."
As he spoke, Safi had started to pace slightly, his attention now on the ground as he couldn't bring himself to look at Inali. It was easier to discuss these things if he didn't have to see her react...much easier, in fact.
"I won't lie and say that I don't regret what happened, Inali; we didn't think about anything of import; hell, I barely knew you before last time, and now I think that it's safe to say that I know ALL of you." A bit blunt, but true. "I was just so caught up in what I THOUGHT that I needed that I didn't stop to think about the way things SHOULD have been done." Not that he hadn't enjoyed what they'd done, but that nagging little voice just hadn't shut up afterwards. "Do you understand what I mean?"
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Posted: Wed Nov 29, 2006 2:29 pm
Safi was making sense in a bizarre sort of way, if that made any sense whatsoever. Inali could feel her mind twisting into knots then untying itself, before settling nicely upon the floor of her skull and refusing to obey. "And how should things should have been done?" Inali could answer that question.
You should have abstained, you shouldn't have riled me up, I shouldn't have responded, I shouldn't have /consented/. Her mind was rising into a frenzied pitch again, try as she might to calm it. Panic attacks were a new thing to Inali since the situation, but she had not had a large one since... the incident.
"And no flowery words stallion." Not that Safi seemed the type to do that- he had always been blunt and to the point around Inali. The words were needed though. Soquili could change, and Inali was not in the mood to have harsh reality sugar coated and made palatable. No, not now.
He wasn't even looking at her, Inali noted. He looked everywhere BUT at her, as if he couldn't stand to. Perhaps he couldn't. Perhaps I'm too ugly, perhaps he regrets what he did, perhaps he wants to do what he did again and is even now lying. How can I know? It was impossible.
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Posted: Wed Nov 29, 2006 4:12 pm
He'd been blunt in dealing with Inali, so it was in a way only fair that she was blunt with him. Still, the way she very matter-of-factly she asked him how things should have gone took him off guard. Well, following her request would be easy, given the circumstances.
Raising his head, he looked straight at Inali, hoping to high heaven that he could focus enough on what he was saying that he wouldn't get sidetracked by the awkwardness of it all. He hadn't been good at dealing with his own issues in the past...but then, he'd never had an issue quite like this either before or since.
"How should things have been? We should have talked, gotten to know each other better, learned whether or not we were a good match, fallen in love if that was the way things were meant to be, and THEN had sex; even one night stands deserve more of a discussion then we had, Inali. It was basically instinct on both of our parts, instinct and base desire. At least, that's what it evolved into on my part."
Now that he was speaking, it was as though the words were a snowball rolling downhill; they were taking on a life out of their own, and he knew subconsciously he wouldn't be able to stop until he had finished speaking his peace.
"I'd never been with a mare before you, Inali, or even been tempted in such a way; I guess that I was such an emotional wreck that whatever barriers I had against such things was thrown out of whack." Once again it was hard to talk and look at Inali, but as he couldn't stop talking more than he could stop the sun from shining, he found himself once more looking away from her. "I do regret what happened, but I can't say I didn't enjoy every moment of it while it was happening. Perhaps that's why I realize now how horribly things were botched getting into it. No matter how strong the mental pain...we shouldn't just use physical pleasure to try and mask emotional issues."
Normally he probably would have been blushing by this point, but somewhere along the line he had become introspective. The words weren't just for Inali...they were for himself, as well. "I used you, Inali; perhaps you used me as well, but that doesn't make what transpired between us any less...tangible."
Pieces were falling into place before his eyes, and he was once more looking at Inali, eyes sharp and focused with sincerity. "I guess what I'm trying to say, Inali, is that I don't want us to have our whole relationship disfigured by one incident. We were friends beforehand...is it possible to be friends afterwards?" He knew that things could never return to what they had been before, but there was no reason they couldn't change and still be acceptable. Besides...even if it was possible. Though Inali might deck him if she knew, he viewed their encounter as something highly significant...a turning point of sorts.
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Posted: Sun Dec 03, 2006 3:35 pm
Safi was correct, of course. It appeared as if he really /had/ thought things through, and the guilt in his face... it looked real. He looked as if he meant everything he said. Inali still winced, but some of the hatred faded from her expression, though not all.
"And I assume you could have guessed I"ve never been with a stallion before." Inali was not entirely sure if that was true- her memory of her life prior to the soquili lands was a complete blank, which bothered her not one whit. If it was gone, there was a reason for it, and she didn't need to know. It was gone, and that was all there was to it. But that wasn't important today, right now.
Hearing Safi's offer... Inali almost spat out her hatred in one word, but then she stopped and thought. He was right again. They had used each other for mutual benefit, to fill emotional gaps. She couldn't know what it was in Safi's case, but she knew very well that her actions with him were trying to mask her pain of rejection, and her own current insecurities about her appearance. She had used him to make herself feel better... and that's what it all fell down to. The blame and the guilt couldn't just rest only on Safi. She had to take her share, and help him bear the burden. IF she didn't take him up on his offer, she knew the memories would haunt her forever.
"I... I can't say I'd like that very much... but I'd like to try. I think... it's something we both need. We can't wallow in her own guilt... We have to try. I"ll try as much as you try... but if we ever do that again I'll turn into a Skinwalker and eat you." Ah, there was a shadow of the old mare everyone loved!
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Posted: Sun Dec 03, 2006 5:34 pm
Safi's mouth twitched ever so slightly as Inali made her last threat, a sign that the humor of old had definitely not abandoned him. Still, it was telling that he managed to suppress the urge to laugh and even the desire to grin; while humor was all well and good, he'd learned that there were also times when it bade well to be serious!
"Somehow, I can totally see you following through with that threat...but I don't think that you'll have to follow through with it, if it's any consolation. Once was definitly enough to tide me over until further notice!" And that was true; he'd see if there was anything to that rumor that it was even better when there was true emotional attachment, now that he had something to compare with. The very idea amused him, and he gave way to the desire to smile. "I can understand where you're coming from, though, and I'd understand if you just wanted to keep a wide berth. Even the best of agreements usually need a bit of time before the participants can get used to the idea..."
And they certainly had a past to overcome. Then again, time was said to heal all wounds, so... "And don't worry; I'm a very trying Soquili." Pun intended.
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Posted: Mon Dec 04, 2006 4:16 pm
Inali snorted once, though it was with amusement. "Oh aye, once will tide any stallion over, or so they all say." Though she doubted that Safi had as large an appetite as many of his gender, he must still have one- he had demonstrated that much to her! "I would like to give myself at least seven days... I just need to rest."
That was all she needed, rest and relaxation. The stress that had invaded her body and sent out nefarious roots needed to be vanquished, and she needed to feel what it was like to be happy at least once before she could bring herself over this painful obstacle in her path. It would be done though; her resolve would not allow otherwise.
"Oh, I know you are." Inali grinned again. At least she felt more at ease now than she had before- in fact, she felt her body relaxing slowly. It felt good now to be slightly happier, though the barrier that existed between she and Safi was still carefully crafted. It felt good... and it would get better. Things would get better from now on.
"Friends then? Til the bitter end?" Ah, it was really quite funny, and she snorted again to restrain laughter. The whole situation struck her as hilarious.
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Posted: Mon Dec 04, 2006 5:57 pm
Mouth in a perfectly stoid expression, Safi listened to Inali's comments with the knowledge that she had to be taking this about as seriously as an egg with hair; in other words, not very! That knowledge delighted him, given how worried he'd been; but apparently it was possible to get over anything with good humor if you knew that there was no hurt intended. "Wow, I was so intense to experience that you need another seven days in addition to the weeks that have already passed to recover? I had no idea that I was that impressive a stud!"
Stoic expression gav way to smile, and he gave Inali the equivalent of a thumbs-up gesture with his wing. When they'd met for the first time, he'd had no idea that things would have taken the path they had with her...nor would he have expected things to work out so well in the end!
"To quote a new acquaintance of mine...you bet your buttons, Chica." Winking at her teasingly, Safi would have taken that moment to give her either a hug or a nuzzle, but in the current circumstances decided to keep his distance. "Friends, whether we like it or no!"
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