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 Posted: Mon Nov 13, 2006 5:32 pm
Sometimes, it was easy to tell when someone was sneaking up on you. Other times, it was easy to tell when there was simply someone else around. However, in order for anyone to be aware of their surroundings, they had to first have some inkling of where they themselves were.
And they also had to care.
If you look into the water and see a face staring back...how do you know it's you?
~~~~~
Safi lay on the bank of the pond, his head resting on his extended forelegs. The feather tucked behind his ear twitched slightly in the breeze, and the same breeze caught the feathers of his wings and ruffled them, the sound a soothing rustle in the still afternoon. Ripples spread across the surface of the pond as the breeze danced across the water, and down beneath tiny fish swam about, poking experimentally at the surface ripples in the hope that insects landing on the water were causing the ripples. All in all, it was a very peaceful locale; perfect for the meditative soul to relax and find some peace.
However, one only had to look at Safi to see that all the peace of the glade meant absolutely nothing. His eyes, half lidded with disinterest, stared down into the water; ostensibly they were fixed on his reflection, but there was no interest in his gaze.
The face in the water stared back up at him with equal apathy; neither stallion nor reflection seemed at all interested in the other, their surroundings, or anything at all. In fact, an observer wouldn't be too far off if they were to go so far as to assume that he was stoned or in some other form of stupor.
They wouldn't be wrong, either. Safi was in a stupor alright, but it was one of depression, of dispassion, of self-upset. He couldn't find himself, and it was starting to seem like he never had.
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Posted: Mon Nov 13, 2006 5:55 pm
 The smell of wet leaves and decomposing earth filled the chestnut red mare's nose as she slowly walked towards the sound of gently running water. Streams all eventually lead to a lake or pond, and she wasn't in the mood of getting water sloshed up her nose today. She chuckled to herself at that she could find something that small an annoyance, but then, her temper had changed during the fall.
Ever Sacrifice was a very sore spot in the bare woods. If her red coat didn't wave a red flag, then her pale mane and tail would shine like a star in the night sky. She had grown out her winter coat, her fur actually being quite curly for a Soquili like herself. This cold weather was different for her and she didn't understand why it had to be so bloody freezing this time of year.
As she got closer to a pond, she noticed something that was sticking out just as sorely as her own fur coat. His stance said that he was down and blue on himself and her first instinct was to help cheer him up and make him laugh. She shook the notion out of her head and cleared her throat loudly. She would help if he asked for it, but knew that giving advice when it was not wanted was like treading on someone's privacy. She nickered softly to him to gain his attention. He appeared zoned out and she wasn't sure if her soft noises would bring him out of lala land.
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Posted: Tue Nov 14, 2006 12:31 pm
Ever's nicker, floating along in the breeze as it was, hit Safi with about as much force as a feather. Still, feathers have a habit of tickling, and what they lack in overt power they can make up in attention gathering. Consequently, one of Safi's ears flicked; it was followed by the second, and then he slowly turned his head to see who it was that was trying to get his attention.
If Ever was looking intently at his face as he turned around, she would have had to notice the guarded expression; it was as though he were a hunted animal, afraid to see what was behind him. And indeed, in a way that was exactly how he was feeling...what would he do if it were someone he knew?
However, upon realizing that it was a strange mare instead, he relaxed slightly. Perhaps it was too imperceptable to realize, given that he was still tense and skittish, but he was at least not concerned about having to flee. He didn't know who she was, what she wanted...but he DID know one thing; he was not going to act ridiculous.
After internalizing all of this for a moment, he finally brought himself to speak; however, due mostly to his unease the words and tone were rather brusque. "Can I help you?"
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Posted: Tue Nov 14, 2006 4:22 pm
She raised a hoof to step closer, but hesistated. She wasn't sure what kind of temperment this Soquili would have and though she had been lucky to run into only the better half of most of them, she wasn't about to start making a track record of those who were completely on the other side of the scale. And his tone seemed to speak as if she had interrupted him from his ventures in his own head.
Her icy blues showed a small hint of hurt from his words and the way he had looked at her as if she were the enemy and he was the one to wary. This was a definate twist in roles and made her want to reach out to him all the more. She snorted and stayed rooted to the spot, her voice firm and clear as she answered his question, "I was wondering if you were alright. It is strange to find a Soquili like yourself lost in their own thoughts. Are you well, sir?"
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Posted: Tue Nov 14, 2006 8:28 pm
Much as he wanted to 'redevelop' his personality, Safi couldn't help but cringe inwardly at how harsh he sounded. There was a difference in being a buddy and being a b*****d, after all, and he hadn't meant to come across so hard. Still, he had every right to be upset, didn't he? Last thing that he needed was to be moralized at by a complete stranger.
No, scratch that. The LAST thing he needed was to be moralized at by someone who knew him. At least this way, there was nothing to hurt. Nothing to hurt....like he had last time.
Stll, he didn't feel exceptionally communicative. After all, the point of this little retreat was to find himself, something that he certainly hadn't managed. Who he was, what he wanted, everything about his being was still shrouded in fog. Which was where it belonged, really...
"Your concern is appreciated, but completely unnecessary. I'm completely fine." He wasn't exactly sure what she meant by "soquili like him", but he doubted it was complimentary; that would be his newfound pessimism speaking. But he didn't feel like trying to find out what it meant now, anyway; and to make his point clear, he deliberately returned his head to resting on his legs and resumed staring into the water. Maybe she's get the hint and leave.
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Posted: Wed Nov 15, 2006 4:31 am
If there was a mule in Ever's family tree, she had gained it's stubborness, especially after how rude that Sandalwood had been to her. She wasn't one to back down from someone when she was wanting to help and get to know them. It was probably a little foalish of her, yes, but why always be so knowledgable and never have fun. That would be so boring.
She acted as though she were about leave before she bolted across the distance between them, lowering her head enough to just shove him clear into the crystal pond. Maybe that would cool him off some from being so bloody depressive. "And that should teach you manners as well," she snorted loudly with a firm nod.
Later on, she would feel guilty about shoving another stallion in the water, but now would not be the time. No sir. She looked to where he had landed, giving him a disapproving look that clearly spoke that his lack of communication and energy was not warrented from what she could tell. (( Haha! rofl I wonder if she's managed to actually get Safi in the water, though he does have the bones like a bird. This will indeed be interesting for your boy-oh. ))
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Posted: Wed Nov 15, 2006 10:32 am
((My my she's blunt XD))
Zoned out as he was, there was really no way for Safi to react before being literally butted, and had he not had his wits about him it's quite likely he would have ended up submerged or, at the very least, soggy. However, this wasn't the first time that he'd been happy to have wings.
As it was, his feet were very wet as were his wing tips, since he'd been almost in the water before taking to the air. Not a major incident by any means; after all, he loved swimming and could usually be found paddling around in the lake on hot days. Unfortunately, this time a ducking was not his choice, and he was hardly in a suitable frame of mind to enjoy the prospect.
Therefore, the look he gave the red mare as he held himself aloft over the water was one of baleful disgust. What on earth was wrong with her, trying to fling a total stranger into a pond? How very rude that was! IT was something very uncouth, ill-mannered....
~Something just like you'd do.~
A tiny voice at the back of his mind spoke the words, causing Safi to wince slightly. How annoying that voice was; it just wouldn't leave him alone these days! No matter what he tried to do to reinvent himself, that nagging voice kept teasing him, taunting him. Well, he had gotten used to ignoring the opinions of others even before he'd taken off; so it really wasn't hard to disregard a nagging disembodied voice!
Turning his attention back to the mare, he snorted his disgust at her along with a disproving look even more intense than hers. "Judging by your behavior, I'd say that you're the one that needs a lesson in manners. What are you, just determined to be a nuisance?" He wouldn't doubt that, having had much practice in being a nuisance himself. However, he'd known when to back off.
~You? Back off? Ha, you were the most frustrating and bothersome stallion that ever-~
Enough with the damned voice already! "Will you just shut UP?! I don't CARE!" He wasn't sure how to get his point across to the nagging voice any clearer than that; however, the end result must have been something else to the strange mare. But as long as the voice went away...
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Posted: Wed Nov 15, 2006 4:50 pm
(( Very. And it only gets worse when she's hurt. )) She glared at him, standing her ground and snorting loudly. Normally she would be in a very playful mood, but now would not be one of those times. How rude was it of him to just blatantly ignore a female? She snorted again, pawing at the ground. "I need to learn manners? You would have otherwise ignored a lady if I had not nearly sent you for a dip in the pond. If this is the way you like to treat a girl, then it's no wonder you're all alone here."
When this red mare was riled up, she tended to let loose on her sharp tongue. She was obviously very hurt over the whole thing, her eyes were the only thing that showed that clearly, but the rest of her body language spoke more of anger. "You're no better than all the other stallions that rut about in this realm. You are all drawn in on yourself to even see what is going on around you. And none of you give a lick of care. Perhaps you were better to be left alone, sir," she said with a very loud snort before finally turning her back to him as if to leave his company.
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Posted: Wed Nov 15, 2006 8:24 pm
Harrumph. Ego complex much? "Look, you; ladies are known by their behavior, and your behavior so far firmly places you at the opposite end of the spectrum. Obviously you have an over-inflated opinion of yourself, which must be why you're out alone wandering the wilds and stuck body-slamming guys to try and get their attention. Try moralizing to yourself, and maybe you'll have a more responsive audience."
However frosty the red mare was, her last words did give him a shred of hope. Maybe she'd actually take her own hint, go, and leave him alone. Jeez, if he had ever been anything like that then he really and truly would have deserved a kick in the teeth. But then, he'd never been insulting like she was...and what a stereotyper! Like he wanted to try getting to know one of those close-minded all-males-are-scum shebeasts anyway.
Still, until she had actually left, he wasn't going to let his guard down; consequently he stayed up in the air, flapping his wings gently for lift.
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Posted: Thu Nov 16, 2006 4:43 am
She had raised a hoof as if to make off and away from his presence, but his last comment had finally been the straw that broke the camel's back. She turned about-face and stepped closer to him than she had been orginally, her icy blue eyes locking with his golden ones. Now there was a fire in their depths, one that so few had commented on still being lovely, even in anger.
"Perhaps the phrase, "lady," was in terms of gender and not behavior or even the slightest of blasted blood and ash egos. You were too drawn in on yourself to even notice what on this realm was going on. But perhaps you are right. That I do deserve to be alone. Or maybe I chose to be alone for matters that you didn't even want to show the lick of concern for. A mare, wandering the world, alone.
"But you are a foul beast that decides to use height and wit as a weapon. You are no better than those disgusting stallions that just think only of themselves. All work and no play would make for a very boring life and I'm certain you have lived one by the way you have behaved towards me."
She laughed then, a musical note, but not one out of happiness. It was one out of frustration over different emotions and as the laughter died down, her eyes showed a sparkle of tears cresting over, wanting to spill down her cheeks before she turned her face away from him so he couldn't see how much this had hurt. "Yes. Perhaps I am the one who should remain alone..." She had not meant to say that aloud, but this time she did finally make her way in the direction she had originally been heading. She didn't even look back or wait for his response before she was half-way through the tree line.
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Posted: Thu Nov 16, 2006 1:21 pm
Ever's tongue-lashing might have hit home more had it actually included behaviors that Safi felt himself guilty of. As it was, that which weighed most heavily on his mind, the ripping into Indawo and Zaphiro, had no bearing on what she was saying; consequently, to his current situation her accusations were pointless.
However, something in her tone caught him. He'd always been a friend to mares, the rock that they came to when they had a problem or needed advice. It was impossible to have gone through the routine as often as he had and NOT learned to pick up on nuances; after all, some behaviors were universal. And this mare...she was displaying classic signs of emotional upset. Probably she'd been through a nasty relationship issue, and likely it was recent.
But no. He couldn't help anyone, not now. She'd hit the nail on the head when she accused him of being drawn in on himself...but that was the trouble. He was here, with himself, but he didn't know who he truly WAS; and without knowing himself, then how could he even think of helping others?
Besides that, he had no idea if he'd ever been right before. He hadn't seen any of those mares following their talks, and for all he knew he'd caused more damage than there had existed to begin with. Feh...
All of this weighing on his mind, he himself turned away from the mare as she started off, the pain in the eyes of his reflection below too much for him to contemplate. Sometimes, it was better to be alone. And in his case... "Alone...as long as you have yourself, you're not alone. But if you don't even have that, then what are you?"
The words were spokenly softly, directed at the air without intent of being overheard. However, her words had been the trigger; she might be alone, but she was better off than he was. Sometimes, though....people just didn't know how lucky they were.
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Posted: Thu Nov 16, 2006 4:14 pm
She looked back over her shoulder, the tears rolling freely down her cheeks. She despised that stallion. Despised him for what he had said, for tossing her concern like a foul cloth, and despised him most of all for what he had brought out in her. Through her tears, she glared at him once more, listening to what his final words had been, though they seemed more directed to himself than to her. "If you stay alone with yourself too longer, you'll find that you'll have an enemy and not a friend you're seeking, COLT."
She had emphasized the last work on purpose to show that he wasn't even fit to be seen as a true adult in her eyes. With her final words out, she turned and made to run away from the scene, hoping to never run across the stallion that had been the first to make her cry. (( FIN for me! ))
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Posted: Thu Nov 16, 2006 4:34 pm
Perhaps in some small way, Safi was affected by Ever. Her rage, her sadness, her obvious hurt...but he just couldn't bring himself to care. In so many ways, it was a repeat of the past; an aspect of the past that had brought him a great deal of self-doubt. He didn't want to walk down that path again; not after all his efforts to break away from it.
As the red mare vanished into the trees, he alighted gently on the ground, folding back his wings and collapsing into a reclining position with a sigh. Perhaps he was doomed to simply repeat himself, caught in a loop of behavior for his entire life...
~Which is what you truly want, after all. You felt her pain, you recognized her concern...and you wanted to help. You can't escape from what you are, you know...~
"...Just shut up."
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