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I always thought I'd have my friends to stand by me, that was until I found out that one of my friends has been talking to the father of my unborn child. My friends don't know I'm pregnant but they know how I feel about him. I started a small sort of war between all my friends now because I refuse to forgive her for talking to him. crying This makes me more unhappy then i realised it could. I worry constantly about my baby what if somehow my baby can feel how miserable I am?
I'm only 16 and I feel like I've got more on my plate then I can handle, I have my regular teenage problems but then there's my baby which seems to be an adult problem tot he extreem. Now I'm not quite sure how to dea with my life which also hold a lot of other problems because now of al the things I need I need my friends and I don't even have that and its my own fault.

Okay i'm adding onto this because i really need to rant and i don't feel like i've got anyone to rant to.

Anyway today has been one of the worst days at all, I keep on hearing myself get mad and frustrated with my friends but i don't really feel like that deep down. I've started like three fights and yeled at a friend for being immature. I can't stand anyone today so I've been pushing people away all day when really what I need is a big hug.

Regarding your friend who talked to the father of your unborn child - why not just forgive her? Or at least talk to her and ask her not to do it again? It seems like this could be avoided if you just forgive your friend (or say that you forgive her, even if you don't mean it, for the sake of people fighting).

We can't tell you what to do - all we can advise you is that regarding your unborn child, you have 3 options: Abortion, adoption, or keeping the child. Take a look at the pregnancy sticky for more information.
It doesn't sound like you're ready to be a parent, so maybe abortion or adoption would be your best options?

I'm copying and pasting this in here too because there's a couple of issues I wanted to mention:



It's good you're thinking about how you'll manage with school and such. They're also things to consider when you decide whether or not to keep your child - will you drop out of school? When will you go back? Will you graduate, or get your GED when your child is a bit older? How will you work and care for a baby at the same time? Will you hire a baby-sitter, or can someone in your family watch your baby while you're at work? If you get a baby-sitter how will you afford to pay for them? What about your baby's father, is he going to be in the picture?
Just some things to consider.

Depending on how far along you far, your child may or may not be able to pick up on what you're feeling. That doesn't happen until later in the pregnancy I think? (If someone knows the answer to that, feel free to correct me)

I would advise not worrying about your baby's name until you've decided whether or not you're going to keep the child. How far along are you?

i'm about three months along and my brother said he'd watch the baby if i decided to take night classes and get a job on eavnings during the weekends. I'm majorly grateful that my family wants to help me as disfunctional as it seems most of the time. mostly i worry about whether or not i'll be able to give my child a happy life but i don't have any question about keping my baby.

as for the father i want him as far out of the picture as possible, he's not stable and ithink he might hurt my baby or me.

If she was talking about you then chances are she wasn't a real friend. You have plenty of support here ^_^ If you need any help I remember what it was like...and I didn't have my family helping me. But I do know how to budget shop like its nobody's business! xd (forgive me, i'm sick, and think the cough syrup is kicking in whee ) Anyways...I'm not sure when the doctors and experts say the baby can feel it but I think, at least to an extent they feel it the whole time. Your mood effects your entire bodies chemistry...which is why when some people are depressed they eat alot, or some dont eat at all...and how mood rings work xd At least thats how it seemed with me...whats wonderful is when she's going to start moving, it often feels like she's trying to cheer you up...and guess what, it works! Don't focus on what you don't have, focus on the life you do have! Listen to baby stories, play with little clothes and look at names, figure everything out...soon you'll be too busy to think your alone...and your not. You've got your best friend for the rest of your life right there with you ^_^ The best thing you can do for her is not to stress or worry to much.
About the father...yea..get him out of your life ASAP. Pretty soon you wont be able to hide it >^_~<

Some one told me to tell his parents. As much as i'd like to they don't seem to understand how unstable he is and i think they would probably tell him about it if i told them.

will my baby be smarteer if i read to it?

I don't want to sound preachy to you, but I think that you're going to have to be a little less idealistic about what this baby is going to be like.
It's not going to be a piece of cake, and if you think of it as some kind of fairytale where you just get to dress up the kid and name it and mold it into the perfect person, it's going to be disappointing in the end. I find it easier to think about it as something exciting and special, but not to lose sight of the practicality of being a parent.

It's good that you have the support of your family, but you're probably going to have to do some icky adult things, like find out if your prenatal care or birth will be covered by your parent's insurance or if you will have to find another method of doing it. You'll also probably have to legally win custody over your child and/or put a restraining order on the child's father so that you won't have to worry about the father having any contact. If I were you, I would not seek child support from the father if you really want to make sure that he has no real say in the life of your child.

And this doesn't mean you'll never be able to date or get married, because I know one of my neighbors who had a baby at a young age, broke all contact with the father, and is now happily married with a really kind person and they had another child together. So, even though dating is probably far from your mind, just know that there will be plenty of guys out there later on who will be honored to be with you. That and your parents are being very supportive and loving, which you should feel lucky for, as most parents might disown a child for becoming pregnant.

To get ready for the baby I would suggest these few things:

First of all, I suggest spending as much time as you can with small children and babies. If you know an older adult with a child, hang out with that adult, ask them what it's like, perhaps even ask them to show you how to change a diaper or something like that. Learn the moods that babies have, and how to deal with them. This will come in handy with your own.

Secondly, don't go out and buy tons of new baby clothes! Why? Because there are TONS of older baby clothes that you can buy for really cheap at thrift stores and it's basically new. Besides, when you have a baby, it grows REALLY fast, so a lot of the stuff that people might get you for your newborn won't fit in a month or two (believe me, I know this because I have two younger siblings and quite a few baby cousins).

Thirdly, PLEASE don't get your baby too many toys. I know it might be exciting to buy stuff for him/her, but a lot of the time, this overwhelms the child and can lead to greediness and a compulsion towards hoarding objects, which is not very healthy at all. I would suggest that you get a few unisex items at first (like blocks for building/legos/ one or two soft plush baby-safe animals, a few soft books for looking through) and try to cut down on flashy and "push a button and it plays itself for you" kinds of toys. These toys often hinder independant and creative development, so that kids might grow up to only use toys for what they're "supposed" to be used for, rather than using them creatively.

Fourthly, please PLEASE remember to be verbally appreciative of your support. Whenever someone helps you out, give them a smile and a friendly thank-you. This will give people the idea that YOU are in a good mood and will encourage others to be more positive around you.

Fifthly, if people in your school are being all "whispery and gossipy" about you, bring it out into the open. Talk about it like you're proud of it, not like you're ashamed, and ask them if they have any questions. Most of the time, the people who are saying mean things are afraid and ignorant about your situation. If you're happy and open about it, people around you are more likely to stop being afraid of it, and accept you just for you.

*luffs* 4laugh Some of that stuff I wanted to say, but didn't know how to. Good advice! biggrin