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 Posted: Fri Oct 27, 2006 4:00 pm
When did you learn what death was?
Did you realize what that meant fully at first?
Do you realize it yet?
How did you feel?
Why did They/you tell/find you/out?
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Posted: Fri Oct 27, 2006 4:04 pm
 ★★★ I'm not sure when I first learned about death, but I know that I try to
remind myself regularly that death isn't something that happens to other
people. It's not just people get sick, get old, and die. I have to realize that
I'm going to get sick, I'm going to get old, and I'm going to die. It really
makes the here and now seem that much more precious and promising.★★★ 
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Posted: Fri Oct 27, 2006 6:16 pm
i first saw and realized what death meant when i was young and watched jurasic park. At first i was terrified, and then i saw the lighter side of darknesss and how to embrace it...and ive never been afrid since.
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Posted: Fri Oct 27, 2006 7:41 pm
I realised it in a Tony Roma's [which seems to be a trend, Cristina learned of death there too.] around Halloween, I think, when I was 4. My grandma's boyfriend had just died, and I'm not sure whether or not I went to his funeral. I was like, "Next time I see Blain I'ma ask him to play the accordian!" or something, and my dad said, "You're not going to see Blain again."
"Sure, I will. Next time I go to Utah."
"No, Blain's dead."
"So?"
"So, he's gone and he's never coming back."
Sometime later, after he'd fully explained it to me-
"So.. it mommy going to die?"
"Yes."
"And you..?"
"Yes."
"Am I gonna to die!?"
"Yes."
And then I burst out crying, I think. Somehow he got me to stop pretty quick though, because supposedly I've never caused a scene in a restaurant like other kids.
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Mariana the Deloved Vice Captain
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Posted: Fri Oct 27, 2006 9:12 pm
Death never bothered me, really. I was always like, "Oh ok, they're goign to die, so am I, cool!" It wasn't that I was suicidal, it's just I've always felt that the otherside was a much more interesting adventure than here.
My family's Christian, so I remember my father telling me about Revelations, and how Jesus was going to take all the believers away. I thought that was so great, and hoped he would hurry up and take us soon. I think I was maybe eight or younger.
Now that I don't belive in religion my thoughts are still the same somewhat, the afterlife is just another adventure, another life.
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Posted: Sat Oct 28, 2006 11:26 am
★★★ While I was in University, I was still suffering from a more extreme social
anxiety disorder. One winter day, during my first semester of my first
year, I was on the bus on the way to University and I was thinking about
death. Immediately my mind said, "that's a long ways off, you don't have
to think about it now." I was about to give in when I said, "yes I do."
It was strange that my mind would decide that death was always going to
come later, when I could die of any number of things right now. So
reflecting upon the innevitability of death, even at a young age, is not a
bad thing. So I began to think deeply on the issue of death, and then I
came to a great realization of my own death, and realized that everyone is
going to die (it's one thing to know it, another to realize). Suddenly, my
social anxiety broke. There was just this great sense of equanimity.★★★
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Posted: Sat Oct 28, 2006 11:31 am
That's a lovely way to think about it. I'll remember that next time I feel nervous in public.
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Posted: Sat Oct 28, 2006 8:39 pm
★★★ I've been thinking about death quite a bit. Not that I want to die, but on
how it reflects upon what I'm doing with my day-to-day life, and what
direction I'm going in life. My material posessions cannot save me from
death, my loved ones cannot save me from death - so it's strange that I
can be so stingy and attached to friends and family at times. That doesn't
meant that I don't think some things aren't useful, or that some people are
unimportant. It just seems to be asking me to let go a little bit of that clinging.★★★
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Mariana the Deloved Vice Captain
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Posted: Sat Oct 28, 2006 9:10 pm
There's only one person I really cling on to... If she died, I'd probably sigh, and simply say, "See you in another life... Even if you don't believe in it." Sure, I'd feel fairly sad, but I don't think I'd cry. It's not like she's gone forever. I might not see her ever again, but it's not like she's wiped out of existance all together...
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Posted: Sat Oct 28, 2006 9:29 pm
I just wrote up a 5 paragraph post about how I grew up and my different beliefs and how I want faith, only to accidnetally close the window.
I need faith.
And I'm envious of people like you, mariana.
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Posted: Sun Oct 29, 2006 1:18 pm
I died from broken Heart, but in this un-life I like to do all I missed because of that "so called love" 4laugh Freedom is intoxicating'¡
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Posted: Mon Oct 30, 2006 9:14 am
★★★ Broken Hearts are exceptionally painful. Particularly
when they're your first really meaningful one.★★★
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Mariana the Deloved Vice Captain
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Posted: Mon Oct 30, 2006 12:19 pm
Lyf ++
Don't be envious, each of us finds faith at different times and in different ways. You're just going your own way that's all. It's not good or bad, it's just your way. So don't worry, you'll find it, I'm sure of it! heart ^w^
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Posted: Thu Nov 16, 2006 6:03 am
The things that form my body are not new. They were formed shortly after the big expansion of the Universe (smaller particles and energy coalescing into hydrogen atoms), and then larger forged into heavier elements in the furnace of the Sun. After that, through complex bio-chemical processes there arose the organic molecules that make up DNA, RNA, mitochondria, et cetera.
It's all just different ways of arranging the same stuff. The ultimate in recycling. So the stuff that I am formed of has always been here, and since we're taught that energy is neither created nor destroyed, all the stuff that I'm formed of always will be here (since matter is the "condensed soup" of energy), as far as I know.
This means that there is no after-life for me. It also means that there was no before-life, either (as the term after-life would allude to). This arrangement, this person, this species, this form is new, but these pieces that make up me have been so many other things before - my body is mostly water, so I've literally been in the rain, the snow, in fog and rivers and oceans.
That is an incredibly comforting and even joyous thought. It makes me feel like I'm okay. Even if I should become destitute, even if I should contract a terminal illness, even if I should die, I will still be okay. The stuff that makes up me has always been here. It's survived the hundreds of millions of degrees of solar fury, it's lasted through meteoric bombardment of the Earth, and now through the Bush Administration.
I am not separately-existing from the Earth itself, or the galaxy at large in the way that my delusive mind thinks I am, the way that I appear to be. I don't mean this in some "I'm at one with everything LOL LET'S MAKE KOOLAID AND ASTRAL PROJECT!!!!1", I don't mean it overly literal, either. I mean it in the most down-to-earth way. I mean, even quantum science is saying that any given time, random particles of my body simultaneously exist in multiple locations (because distance, too, is largely illusory).
People say that science is atheistic and secular and devoid of spirituality. I think that nothing could be further from the truth. I am a very spiritual person and while I can be classified as a Buddhist, I am very much a lover of the sciences (although I can't really do any of them because I lack the intellectual capacity - I'm more of a language guy, in case you haven't noticed).
Christian Mystics and Buddhists say that Heaven and Nirvana, and other things like this are not at all places that you "go" to. Quantum science, in it's "distances are illusory" could potentially support that assertion. Rather, they are states of mind. Hell-realms are also states of mind. It's not so difficult to imagine, or to reflect upon our experiences and even our language and to see these states of mind there. To see Heaven as the extinction of the grasping, deluded mind, of being spontaneously joyous and so very "here" and "now." To be fully present and accounted for because, well, there's really no other place to be.
And that Hell-realms are the epitome of what we dislike, and who knows what we dislike better than ourselves? We create our own Hell when we subvert ourselves, when we harm ourselves, when we short-change ourselves. That doesn't mean ignoring our limitations and inabilities, that means being aware of them and working with them or around them. Knowing yourself means knowing what your strengths and weaknesses are. It's about being aware, and in the light of awareness there is no distinction between the sacred and the profane.
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Posted: Thu Nov 16, 2006 2:44 pm
I realized death when my parakeet died of a heart attack in my hands.
I realized the backlash of death when the family dogs went to the vet to be put to sleep.
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