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 Posted: Thu Oct 12, 2006 3:01 pm
Ok, so the prophet has advised us to not date until we are sixteen, thats fair enough but why 16, why not 18 when we are out of school and more likely to stay together?
Please post your views
Please would you PM me when you have posted
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Posted: Thu Oct 12, 2006 3:28 pm
I think not dating until 16 is not group dating (in addition to one on one) until you are 16. He councils us not to date exclusively until after missions(at least for guys)
(and if any of that was not understandable, I blame it on the fact that I am tired)
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Posted: Thu Oct 12, 2006 6:36 pm
If we wait till we're out of school to date, our mommies can't find our dates for us.
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Posted: Thu Oct 12, 2006 6:37 pm
Samantha_Grey If we wait till we're out of school to date, our mommies can't find our dates for us. I guess so...
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Posted: Thu Oct 12, 2006 8:19 pm
Basically, its for this reason.
-At the 12-13 year old age, most people are really just learning how to interact acceptably with people. They've done it before, but here is where the subtleys really begin to develop, whether they realize it or not.
-At the 14-15 year old age, a person is supposed to be learning how to interact acceptably with the opposite sex. Case in point is DANCES. Thats why we can goto dances at 14, to learn how to really talk and act with/around the opposite sex.
-At the 16-17 year old age, a person begins to really learn how to relate person-to-person with someone better than they have before. Its at this stage that we are not only allowed to, but encoraged to date, so that we can develop on that level even more than we have before.
Of course, group dating is important, not only for moral reasons, but to help us realize how to treat other people both individually and collectivly.
This is also when most people begin to, whether the realize it or not, realize what they want in a spouse. Conciously or not, they sort of make a list of traits they want their spouse to have and a list of traits they don't want their spouse to have. Thats why its important to date during this time period, so we can grow and realize what we want/need.
-Then for guys its mission preperation time, then mission, and then we've really grown and developed from just boys and young men to real, responsible MEN. Now we are finally prepared to worry about settling down, and dating exclusivly is allowed/encouraged.
My Bishop told us that the marriage age for both men and women should usually be around 22-up. Of course, there are situations where a younger girl marries a guy, but guys shouldn't be younger than 21, because that would mean they are on their mission! Which is impossible.
Or the didn't go, which I wish I could say was impossible too, but it happens.
ALSO, you're "when it's more likely they'll stay together" comment is, basically, wrong. If you wait until you're older to start dating you wont be able to grow and make those "lists" I spoke of earlier, and they WONT be more likely to stay together at all! Its like High School drama in your twenties. How sad! Then it takes longer to really find a spouse, and by then all the good ones are taken! Just kidding, of course, but you see my point there too.
The same reason for that applies to the often repeated question "Why not 15 or 14?". Because if you try to skip ahead in the order of things, you'll next be trying to get married when your 17 and that is a complete mess!
Dating at 12-13 BLOWS MY MIND because not only are these children not ready to get personal, but then they start getting into/thinking about that marriage business at 16! SIXTEEN!! Crazy!
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Posted: Fri Oct 13, 2006 8:23 am
Ok thank you guys that really cleared it up *closes thread* (if i can do that)
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Posted: Fri Oct 13, 2006 9:32 pm
bowlingforsoup116 Ok thank you guys that really cleared it up *closes thread* (if i can do that) I can close it if you wish, or we can leave it open for anymore comments. by the way, I agree. Dating at 12-13 or younger eek It's insane!
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Posted: Sat Oct 14, 2006 12:39 pm
it is probably because the lord said it was a good age and it usually goes for group dating
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Posted: Sun Oct 15, 2006 1:08 pm
I think that it works and that you shouldn't question it. Even though I do at times.
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Posted: Sun Oct 15, 2006 1:44 pm
It's good council, but I think people have a hard time with it because being a teenager is probably the lonlinest time in a person's life. You're certainly at the point by then that you understand you can't just live with your parents or guardians forever. In a lot of cases, you can hardly live with them now!
So you're distanced emotionally from the only chance you've had in this life for real love so far, it's natural to look to the future, and forward to someone you can love and have by your side forever Yeah, you'll want to date exclusively.
It causes all sorts of problems, because even if one of you is mature and emotionally committed enough, you're both still growing and changing who you are, and who you will become. He most likely will not be the boy you fell in love with as soon as three years from now, (in some cases next week!) and that sets you up for a world of hurt. It doesn't matter how much you love someone, you can't make a relationship work. It takes the agency and maturity of you both, something that is much better gambled on when each of you have had more time to experience and learn from both those things.
I was 23 when I got married, and my husband was 28, and as lonely as we used to be, and as ready as we thought we were when we were younger, we can look back at ourselves now and realize we're much better off that we met at the time we did.
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Posted: Sun Oct 15, 2006 2:27 pm
I guess when you're younger you want to be like all the big kids and get someone like that and expirence what they are. but once you get to be 16 it's not big deal, you're just with people, it's funn. but yeah I know you probibly think I'm crazy because I'm 16 and engaged...but things are different for different people, we're going to wait till I'm 18 to actually have teh wedding tho.
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Posted: Sun Oct 15, 2006 2:45 pm
I think its 16 because you can get to know people before getting serious. Thats what its about really. You aren't supposed to stay with the first person you date forever. It can happen, but isn't the point. You are to go on group dates to find out what qualities you like and for you to have fun getting to know people. You aren't supposed to be serious to start. When you are 18, then you start looking seriously. You'll have 2 years of experience and knowledge.
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ConcreteAngel Vice Captain
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Posted: Wed Oct 18, 2006 4:01 pm
Um... guys... Didn't you hear about that study that was done?
The rate of teen pregnancy by those who date drops by--I think--more than half at/after the age of 16. Even if it's just by one day. Don't ask me why, that's just the way it is.
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Posted: Wed Oct 18, 2006 4:12 pm
Audd Um... guys... Didn't you hear about that study that was done? The rate of teen pregnancy by those who date drops by--I think--more than half at/after the age of 16. Even if it's just by one day. Don't ask me why, that's just the way it is. I already said why up above exclaim It all ties together.
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Posted: Wed Oct 18, 2006 6:23 pm
Audd Um... guys... Didn't you hear about that study that was done? The rate of teen pregnancy by those who date drops by--I think--more than half at/after the age of 16. Even if it's just by one day. Don't ask me why, that's just the way it is. Yup, yup. The younger kids are when they start dating, the more likely they are to engage in sexual activities. Not a good thing.
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