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 Posted: Tue Sep 26, 2006 3:04 am
OH MAN IT IS 5:03 IN THE A.M. RIGHT NOW AND MY TV IS ON AND THERE IS A INFOMERCIAL ABOUT HOW ALL HUMAN TORMENT AND SORROW IS CAUSED BY TOO MUCH s**t IN YOUR POOPER AND I AM SO ASDGFAHDDCEF THAT IHAVE TO TYPE IN CAPSLOCK
OKAY NOW I AM GOING!!!!!!!!!!! TO TYPE QUOTES FROM THE COLON CLEANSING INFOMERCIAL AS I HEAR IT:
(PS GUY INDICATES THE INVENTOR OF THE SUPER SHITTING PILL IS SPEAKING)
GUY: YOU CAN TAKE THE s**t ERADICATOR EVERY OTHER MONTH IN AN EASY TO TAKE PILL
GUY:KEEP YOUR BOWELS MOVING RIGHT AND FEEL GOOD EVERY MONTH
INTERVIEWER: WEVE ARRANGED FOR SOME VIEWERS TO TAKE THE PRODUCT (NOTE: I AM SERIOUS) AND LETS TALK TO THEM NOW
USER: I AM MORE ACTIVE THAN A LITTLE GIRL IS
GUY (DOUCHE): MY MISSION IS TO CHANGE LIVES WHICH IS WHY WE RELEASE THIS s**t CLEANSER TO THE PUBLIC
GUY: PLEASE EXCUSE THE LANGUAGE: OUR FOOD SUCKS AND OUR COLON WALLS GET CAKED UP LIKE PIPES IN AN OLD HOUSE THE APERTURE HAS SHRUNK TO A MINUTE OPENING OKAY SO THAT IS WHAT YOUR s**t DOOR AKA CRAP SPHINCTER
GUY: OKAY NOW I AM TALKING ABOUT MY FOUR YEAR OLD DAUGHTER'S s**t OKAY IT WAS AS BIG AS MY WRIST AND AS LONG AS MY ARM I HAD s**t ENVY I FELT QUITE INADEQUATE
INTERVIEWER: JOHN WAYNE HAD 44 POUNDS OF s**t IN HIS a** WHEN HE DIED
INTERVIEWER: A MAGIC s**t-BULLET COULD HAVE SAVED THE DUKE'S LIFE
GUY: OUR GRANDPARENTS s**t LIKE CHAMPIONS
GUY:OUR CHILDRENS DIGESTIVE TRACTS ARE CLEAN, LIKE THE PIPES IN A BRAND NEW HOUSE
INTERVIEWER: THE BOTTOM LINE IS THAT SHITTING A LOT CURES HEADACHES AND YOU CAN FLY
GUY: UNDULATING MOVEMENT IS ESSENTIAL SO DONT TAKE LAXATIVES OR YOU WILL GET ADDICTED TO SHITTING A LOT OUT OF YOUR a*****e
GUY:THE FIRST BOTTLE IS AN EASY TO SWALLOW TABLET THE MOST COMMON RESPONSE WE GET IS THAT YOU FEEL BUOYANT LIKE A BALOON
GUY:SECOND BOTTLE IS 29 BALANCED PLANT EXTRACTS THAT MAKES YOUR BOWEL MOVEMENT MOVE LIKE GOD INTENDED
GUY: YOU CAN INCREASE YOUR s**t'S GIRTH AND LENGTH
INTERVIEWER: IF YOU DO NOT s**t YOU WILL GET FAT AND GET CANCER SO MOVE YOUR BOWELS EVERYDAY
INTERVIEWER: THE REAL ROOT OF THE PROBLEM IS WE DONT s**t ENOUGH
DR BERNARD JENSEN SAYS IF YOU HAVE DIRTY INTESTINES YOU WILL s**t DIRECTLY INTO YOUR BLOODSTREAM AND DIE
CALLER: I AM 45 AND FOR THE LAST 4 OR 5 YEARS IVE BEN EATING VERY WELL BUT I DONT FEEL PERFECT, SOMETHING IS MISSING, WILL THIS PRODUCT HELP ME
GUY: DO YOU HAVE KIDS
CALLER: OF COURSE
GUY: ARE YOU KIDS BOWEL MOVEMENTS AND YOURS THE SAME SIZE
CALLER: NO MY KIDS SHITS ARE TWICE AS BIG IN BOTH LENGTH AND GIRTH
GUY: OH YEAH THIS PRODUCT CAN HELP DOUBLE THE MASS AND LENGTH OF YOUR SHITS
GUY: IN TODAYS SOCIETY PEOPLE ARE AFRAID TO TALK ABOUT s**t HEALTH SO THEY RUN AROUND SCARED AND TAKED LAXATIVES WHICH MAKES WATERY STOOLS SO YOU DONT HAVE THE ESSENTIAL UNDULATING ACTION SO YOU WANT TO STIMULATE THE MUSCLES IN THE COLON
GUY: IMAGINE YOU HAVENT CLEANED YOUR FISH TANK IN TWO YEARS: OKAY THAT IS LIKE YOUR COLON RIGHT NOW GUYS
OKAY SERIOUSLY I CANT TYPE ANYMORE I CANT STAND IT
WWW.DUALACTIONCLEANSE.COM
FIRST 100 CALLERS RECIEVE A STEEP DISCOUNT
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Posted: Tue Sep 26, 2006 3:07 am
I've been shitting all my life.
Never been able to fly.
sad
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Posted: Tue Sep 26, 2006 8:21 am
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Posted: Tue Sep 26, 2006 10:48 am
The Almighty Bobo I've been shitting all my life. Never been able to fly. sad But not like this! This is high qulaity shitting! The kind Jesus did.
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Posted: Tue Sep 26, 2006 11:17 am
Phasm The Almighty Bobo I've been shitting all my life. Never been able to fly. sad But not like this! This is high qulaity shitting! The kind Jesus did. Quote: MAKES YOUR BOWEL MOVEMENT MOVE LIKE GOD INTENDED
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Posted: Tue Sep 26, 2006 12:14 pm
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Posted: Tue Sep 26, 2006 3:01 pm
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Posted: Tue Sep 26, 2006 5:47 pm
Pooping everyday means you're healthy.
And possibly that you will one day be able to fly.
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Posted: Tue Sep 26, 2006 6:59 pm
I just took a dump before
reading this thread. I think
I'm good.
WHY CAN'T I FLY?!
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Posted: Tue Sep 26, 2006 8:12 pm
Dude.
I want that s**t.
My s**t has been nuggety for like, months.
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The Mighty Z-Rex Vice Captain
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Posted: Wed Sep 27, 2006 12:55 pm
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Posted: Wed Sep 27, 2006 3:56 pm
If they had this product they would. Pooping would be the new vomiting.
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Posted: Wed Sep 27, 2006 4:29 pm
Phasm If they had this product they would. Pooping would be the new vomiting.
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Posted: Wed Sep 27, 2006 5:12 pm
Phasm If they had this product they would. Pooping would be the new vomiting.
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The Mighty Z-Rex Vice Captain
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Posted: Thu Sep 28, 2006 2:13 pm
The Mighty Z-Rex Phasm If they had this product they would. Pooping would be the new vomiting. Much healthier, certainly.
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