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 Posted: Fri May 27, 2005 2:12 pm
Well, seeing as I am finally starting to get the rules down for this guild, I thought I would try to post this again. Miss Yuki, if I am indeed in the wrong place again, feel free to move me again ^^;; And I apologize if it's an issue. Just know that I don't mind ^_~ I am not going to bite your head off for your rules in your guild. =P
Any way, please bare with me..I am kind of shy and sensitive about this subject. I would have taken it to life issues, but I was just uncomfortible with that.
I am not too sure where to start with this...It has been something I have been some what surpressing to tell the truth. But I have a feeling I really need help with it. When I was 15 I found out I was attracted to girls as well as boys. I felt in my heart that I could fall in love with either sex. To this day, I still feel the same. I am in a very happy relationship of 3 years with a guy. I love him more then anything in the world and I know I am meant to be with him. He was my first love as well as my first for almost anything else if you get my point.
But still, this curiosity gnaws at the back of my mind. I still think about girls, dream about them, fantasize about them. I never had the chance to have a relationship with a girl. But when I see love, I see him. When I see a future, I see him. So why does this still sit in the back of my mind? I am far from unfaithful. I don't believe in cheating. I am too embarassed to talk to him about this either. But I fear that by thinking these things, I am. ._. I don't want him to think that he is not enough. He is more then enough, he is my world.
So what should I do? How should I deal with these feelings?
(My love knows of my sexuality and is very supportive of it. But he is not the type of man to gwak at girl x girl situations)
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Posted: Fri May 27, 2005 4:07 pm
wow. that's deep. Does he know your sexuality? you should really talkt to him about this. Im sure he'll support you if you are HIS everything like he is YOUR everything.
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Posted: Fri May 27, 2005 4:13 pm
KaGe_Khoai wow. that's deep. Does he know your sexuality? you should really talkt to him about this. Im sure he'll support you if you are HIS everything like he is YOUR everything. Cute avi ^^ And yes, he does know of my sexuality, just not this situation. At times, I feel I am not good enough for him. He was the one that fell in love with me and remained faithful even through are hard times.
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Posted: Fri May 27, 2005 4:16 pm
.Lady Aya Mizu. KaGe_Khoai wow. that's deep. Does he know your sexuality? you should really talkt to him about this. Im sure he'll support you if you are HIS everything like he is YOUR everything. Cute avi ^^ And yes, he does know of my sexuality, just not this situation. At times, I feel I am not good enough for him. He was the one that fell in love with me and remained faithful even through are hard times. thanks. i dont really think much of myself or my avi though. But u said u remained faithful right? it's okay to dream about these things. as long as nothing HAPPENS. i had a bf named shaun. he was older. i felt i wasn't good enough for him because at that time i hardly knew nothing of how to be a good gf. and when ur bf fell in love with you. im sure u felt that way before he did right? you just really need to tell him whats on your mind. communication , trust, and listening are really important in relationships,. which is why some ppl like me don't have alot of them. maybe because of trust.
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Posted: Fri May 27, 2005 5:25 pm
Just for the record, this thread is fine here.
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Posted: Sat May 28, 2005 1:01 am
I think you'll be fine. smile
You do love your man and don't have any plans of being unfaithfull to him.
It's normal to have fantasies about others while still in a relationship.
Straight people do that as well, it's just that you fantasize about your own sex.
Now, I'm a bit wicked, so I'll have to say this...
How about asking your loved one for an opportunity to explore sex with another female?
You probably just have thoughts about having sex with a girl, and not running away and live with one.
You have the person of your desires already, but you still think about girls.
Yes, this means asking your loved one for a chance to be unfaithfull.
If he says "No way" then you should of course follow that, but if he says "Ok, try it once" you can relax and hopefully feel a little better about your thoughts, knowing that your loved one supports you.
Now, you said he didn't gawk at girl on girl, so a threesome would probably not be the best deal for either of you.
Just talk to him alot about your feelings, and remember to ask him about his feelings.
It's what both of you wants that matters.
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Posted: Sun May 29, 2005 8:35 am
no she should not ask her bf to have sex with another chick! you should tell him how u feel about girls
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Posted: Mon May 30, 2005 5:52 am
Well, the boy knows about her sexuality...
So I just assumed he also knew about ther feelings...
Maybe not all of it, or exactly how she feel, but a bit of it at least.
Talking is always the best idea, but after a while talking gets old as well.
Too much talking can ruin the relationship just as much as too little talking.
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Posted: Mon May 30, 2005 12:16 pm
Agelage I think you'll be fine. smile You do love your man and don't have any plans of being unfaithfull to him. It's normal to have fantasies about others while still in a relationship. Straight people do that as well, it's just that you fantasize about your own sex. Now, I'm a bit wicked, so I'll have to say this... How about asking your loved one for an opportunity to explore sex with another female? You probably just have thoughts about having sex with a girl, and not running away and live with one. You have the person of your desires already, but you still think about girls. Yes, this means asking your loved one for a chance to be unfaithfull. If he says "No way" then you should of course follow that, but if he says "Ok, try it once" you can relax and hopefully feel a little better about your thoughts, knowing that your loved one supports you. Now, you said he didn't gawk at girl on girl, so a threesome would probably not be the best deal for either of you. Just talk to him alot about your feelings, and remember to ask him about his feelings. It's what both of you wants that matters. If you love him and been together this long, you should be able to talk to him about it and not hold yourself back. It's probably something you should have talked about earlier in the relationship(and I know it's too late for that). If you're both comfertable having a threesome, then you could try it. but it sounds like you want to try an accual relationship with a girl, or see what it's like, right? All I can say is talk about it with your man. It's up to you what you think is right.
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Posted: Mon May 30, 2005 7:07 pm
No please. do not have a relationship with another girl while being with your boyfriend. it isn't right.
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Posted: Mon May 30, 2005 7:54 pm
There isn't exactly a right or wrong here, KaGe_Khoai...
And what's wrong from your point of view isn't necessarily wrong for someone else.
But as I said first. I'm wicked. And I know it. twisted
But it's really up to the Lady Aya to make the decision of what she should do. We're just here to be supportive and helpful in any way we can.
So whatever she decides to do, it won't be wrong, it will just be her choice.
Now, I have faith in Lady Aya because she herself says she is faithfull and don't believe in cheating. smile
... rolleyes
M'lady Aya? Have you tried not thinking about it so hard, and just accept the fact that you want a girl as well?
No shame in wanting things, it's the doing that counts.
When it comes down to it, it's what you want that matters, and the options aren't that many.
Break up and date a girl.
Stay together and twotime him with a girl.
Stay together and "get permission" to date a girl on the side.
Have a threesome.
Stay together and supress your emotions and feelings.
Stay together and accept your feelings, but act not upon them.
More choices exist, but they're really just versions of these.
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Posted: Tue May 31, 2005 12:55 pm
I have not talked to him about it since I last posted this. But I have been reading over your comments and thinking to myself. I feel I should talk to him. Communication is something I strongly believe in. But I am pretty old fashion on my morals. Some times I find it funny..*little laugh*
Any way, why I made this post is because I just wanted others opinions. I am an observer, and some times I just think easier that way. I really appreciate all your comments. ^^ I am just going to talk to him about it. Though, I have a feeling it won't be easy. *is a very shy person*
Any way, thank you again for your comments. heart
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Posted: Tue May 31, 2005 6:17 pm
Goodie. smile
Communication is good. That's the base in any good relationship.
Got any ideas on what you are going to say to him?
And do you any ideas on how you will handle your feelings?
And if we can be of more help, just let us know. smile
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Posted: Tue May 31, 2005 6:25 pm
Your welcome. Hope it turns out ok..
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Posted: Tue May 31, 2005 7:35 pm
Well, my response has been told already by the others, so I'll just reiterate it and make a comment on something.
I do believe that you should tell him just so he knows... given he isn't the type to fly off the handle and jump to conclusions fabricated in his own mind... Yeah... I'm sure he'd understand.
As for Agelage's idea... it could work out a number of ways. Could be perfect, could be devastating, could be in the grey area. I think it's too much of a wild card to pull... domokun
Regardless... best of luck with this, Miyu. 3nodding
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