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 Posted: Thu Sep 14, 2006 7:50 pm
I and MTX are the same person, but not the same personality.
I have developed a slight split personality thing from the first time I used X.
Im not kidding, this isnt a roleplay or joke. Its a minor psychotic problem I may have, and I am going to deal with it. MTX is for all intents and purposes the darkest parts of me, the greed, lust, hatred, and anger in me. I try to control it as best I can on the forum but believe me I can hear MTX in the back of my head pushing for every bit it can get.
You want more proof? Last weekend as I finished mowing the lawn I felt like someone was watching me and turned toward the garage behind me and saw no one, but I would have swore X was leaning against the door, life size watching me only moments before. The day was overcast and I felt really creeped out. Today at work X was taunting me, telling me things I should do in the future, things I could do easily without being caught, I actually stopped at one point looked at the ceiling and said outloud, "Just get out of my head." The answer was a cold, "no. twisted "
Im not saying this for pity or for you to call me nuts (Id admit to it in court any day), but just to let you know that there is some difference between us. Thanks for your time.
PS NO THIS ISNT SOME PLOT BY X! I REFUSE TO BE THAT THINGS TOOL AGAIN!
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Posted: Thu Sep 14, 2006 7:51 pm
o.o *snuggles*
...I don't know what to say? gonk heart
I had no idea it was that bad. .____.;;;
*hugs*
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Posted: Thu Sep 14, 2006 7:53 pm
InternalHardDrive o.o *snuggles* ...I don't know what to say? gonk heart I had no idea it was that bad. .____.;;; *hugs* Its ok, I brought it on myself. Im dealing with it. I have an overactive imagination and it doesnt help with this sort of thing. Im 21, things like this arent healthy. gonk
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Posted: Thu Sep 14, 2006 8:00 pm
...Oh my. ._. That's...rather bad. ;___; ::huggle as well::
Although somehow I'm reminded of Fight Club.
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Posted: Thu Sep 14, 2006 8:02 pm
Mori Bokusochi ...Oh my. ._. That's...rather bad. ;___; ::huggle as well::
Although somehow I'm reminded of Fight Club. That would be a good reference, although I know Im X and dont have those blackout periods and its not a complete split personality. Close though.
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Posted: Thu Sep 14, 2006 8:05 pm
0_0 Wow that is bad. Hope you're able to make the you side of your mind stronger than X sad
Just try to stay away from X related stuff, and try seeing someone if it gets worse because you don't want it to get past what it is now.
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Posted: Thu Sep 14, 2006 8:07 pm
Yeah. x_x
I suggest never using X's account again. ^^;
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Posted: Thu Sep 14, 2006 8:08 pm
InternalHardDrive Yeah. x_x I suggest never using X's account again. ^^; Thats going to be hard. I actually find, letting X act out from time to time, works best at keeping it at bay.
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Posted: Thu Sep 14, 2006 8:09 pm
DeGei InternalHardDrive Yeah. x_x I suggest never using X's account again. ^^; Thats going to be hard. I actually find, letting X act out from time to time, works best at keeping it at bay. Hm. Well...there's John Nash's account of dealing with schizophrenia in A Beautiful Mind...I keep meaning to read the book, but I haven't, and the book is probably a better resource to see how he dealt with it than the movie >>;
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Posted: Thu Sep 14, 2006 8:10 pm
D: I don't know why you would lie about something like this, but you must understand, from the point of those around you, that does sound kind of... Blasphemous? Sure... But if it is for real, then... Not much I can say other than good luck with that, and I do hope you gain control and are able to get help with this problem. Good luck with that.
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Posted: Thu Sep 14, 2006 8:12 pm
Juria-San D: I don't know why you would lie about something like this, but you must understand, from the point of those around you, that does sound kind of... Blasphemous? Sure... But if it is for real, then... Not much I can say other than good luck with that, and I do hope you gain control and are able to get help with this problem. Good luck with that. I'm a writer, my sister's a writer, and we've had things happen that aren't totally dissimilar to DeGei's story. ...So...I believe him >_>; I have little reason to distrust him. I just don't trust MTX. XD;
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Posted: Thu Sep 14, 2006 8:14 pm
InternalHardDrive Juria-San D: I don't know why you would lie about something like this, but you must understand, from the point of those around you, that does sound kind of... Blasphemous? Sure... But if it is for real, then... Not much I can say other than good luck with that, and I do hope you gain control and are able to get help with this problem. Good luck with that. I'm a writer, my sister's a writer, and we've had things happen that aren't totally dissimilar to DeGei's story. ...So...I believe him >_>; I have little reason to distrust him. I just don't trust MTX. XD; Awright, then, for the record, it would be... Do NOT trust MTX, But DeGei is trust-worthy, perhaps with a side of weariness from the paranoias out there.
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Posted: Thu Sep 14, 2006 8:18 pm
DeGei Mori Bokusochi ...Oh my. ._. That's...rather bad. ;___; ::huggle as well::
Although somehow I'm reminded of Fight Club. That would be a good reference, although I know Im X and dont have those blackout periods and its not a complete split personality. Close though.
Yes, it's not completely accurate...otherwise you'd never sleep and MTX would take over every time you attempt to.
I just finished that book earlier, hence it still being wedged in mine thoughts.
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Posted: Thu Sep 14, 2006 8:18 pm
When my sister ended up really developing her characters in her story, it was CREEPY.
She could imagine them standing right there, and if I said something, they'd react. And then I suggested to them that if she didn't start writing after she finished her math, that they would bug her. ...And they did. >_>;
So I completely know what DeGei is talking about. @w@;
I didn't have something like that, fortunately...but not everything was all that different with my own experience.
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Posted: Thu Sep 14, 2006 8:19 pm
...
......
...........
<3 I'm sorry for hating you. u.u I didn't realize it was that bad.
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