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The Way

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Thorns of the Past

PostPosted: Mon Sep 11, 2006 6:26 pm


The Way



The way you smile when I see u in the hall.

The way when you do smile, the way my heart starts to fall.



The way you comfort me when I am sad.

The way you calm me when I am mad.



The way when I lose faith you tell me God loves me.

The way when you tell me that the way I realize that it is the way it will always be.



The way when I walk into class and take a seat.

The way when you see me in class and say hi, the way my heart skips a beat



The way when I need someone to talk to, the way you're always there

The way when people make fun of you for talking to me, the way you don't care



The way when the going gets rough you're the one I can go to.

The way that no matter what I will always love you.
PostPosted: Mon Sep 18, 2006 10:05 am


I enjoyed reading it.

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PostPosted: Tue Sep 19, 2006 10:33 pm


Sammielm
The Way

The way you smile when I see u in the hall.
The way when you do smile, the way my heart starts to fall.

The way you comfort me when I am sad.
The way you calm me when I am mad.


The way when I lose faith you tell me God loves me.
The way when you tell me that the way I realize that it is the way it will always be.

The way when I walk into class and take a seat.
The way when you see me in class and say hi, the way my heart skips a beat


The way when I need someone to talk to, the way you're always there
The way when people make fun of you for talking to me, the way you don't care

The way when the going gets rough you're the one I can go to.
The way that no matter what I will always love you.


Few problems.

The first practically throws itself at the reader in the first line. "u."
I mean, c'mon.
Only other gaping flaw is that you don't tell us what "The way" is. You don't even hint. Don't even show. Just "the way"
Of course, being well-versed in the generic, we can guess that it's "I love the way...." but, still.
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Romantic, or love, or positive, or happy poems

 
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