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 Posted: Sat Sep 02, 2006 12:39 am
whats the point?
why me?
is this the way things are suppost to be?
i cant do on
i cant do this
i cant get up
i cant get though it
not by myself
not with out friends
cause it seems my life just doesnt want to end
the drugs dont work
not a gun in sight
no more hope left
i just think i might
can i finaly end it?
can it finaly be done?
since i lose ware others have won
theres nothing left
no help for me
pain, hurt and death are all i can see
things arnt the way they were befor
no one even recognises me anymore
and even though i kept it all inside
and even though i tried, i still broke down
it wasent ment to be
i knew it from the start
it couldnt ever be
and it fell apart
i lost it all
and theres nothing left to say
i know now that it has to be this way
though i will still try
and give it all i got
everything i do will probly be all for not
in theend i failed
beatten, batterd and broken
and even after the final word was spoken
i still have the pain
and it hurts more and more
and all i ever wanted was everything like it was befor
even though i screem
as the tears crawl down my face
even though i am stuck in this place
with nothing left to do
and nothing left to try
butsit out in the rain
and screem into the sky
i wish i could go back
to the way things were befor
i wish i could go back
insted of losing more
i wish i had help
i wish i wouldnt cry
i wish i could stop asking "God, why?"
crying my eyes out
and being totaly alone
having no friends or a real home
no one to love
and no one loves me
is this really how everything should be?
being used and tossed aside
like an old doll
not getting help even though i call
face down in the mud
ready to die
wishing the bad would end
all as i cry
theres nothing left for me
and nothing left to do
but i know one thing for cirtan
wishes never come true... ;-;
ok, i know this is a long poem but alot has happend in the past month that has me looking for lots of meth and a gun so i can end the pain.
it all started when i found out i was moving to alaska, not only did i lose my home but i lost all my friends. i have no friends up here and i living with the family i never knew i had. the 7 days in the van with my 2 sisters and mother was bad, one of my sisters was annoying the whole way and the other is mega picky. and to top it all of at the end of the month my girlfriend leaves me. sounds like the makin of a country song dont it ;-; *sits in the corner and sobs till there are no more tears left*
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Posted: Sat Sep 02, 2006 1:40 pm
gonk Dude... it's amazing... but, look at it this way; I have lived in this same area since I was born. Everyone in this small community knows me, and so therefore they remember me for who I was when I was 5 years old as opposed to now, and just won't allow to accept the changes in me... I'm sick of all the horrible people who look down upon me, yet I have to put up with it for still 3 more years.
I've never had a boyfriend, ever. And, almost all of my family lives in Aberdeen, which is on the other side of Scotland... if given the choice, I would have loved to be able to move away from it all... so, try to look at the positive sides as opposed to the negatives, as hard as it may seem. You'll meet new people, it just takes time. 3nodding heart
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Posted: Sat Sep 02, 2006 3:03 pm
*hugs* Sweetie,not everyone has the perfect life,but that doesn't mean you should end it like that! What gives you pain makes you stronger,I know this for sure. At least you had a girlfriend*has never had a boyfriend* emo Well anyways,I wish you the best of luck heart
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Posted: Sun Sep 03, 2006 1:18 am
Quite good though some mild spelling errors. Otherwise as I said quite good. But dont worry man you can over come all this you are a good person wether you belive it or not. I belive you can overcome it and I hope that gives you something to work for.
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Lucifer H. Marik Vice Captain
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Posted: Sat Oct 14, 2006 8:06 pm
Just keep trying, you'll be alright. Never give in to the world b/c you can b/c it looks easy. Fight your way through it and you'll do fine.
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