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 Posted: Sat May 07, 2005 1:20 am
If you have ever seen "Now for something completely different" you know that fruit self-defence is quite neccessary. If you can't defend yourself against an assailant with a banana, how are you going to survive in the modern world? I, Phoenix, have volunteered to teach you how to defend yourself against all fruit, including pineapples. That is right, even pineapples. First, i am going to teach you all to defend yourselves against assailants with cantelope.
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Posted: Sat May 07, 2005 1:25 am
"Good morning class. Today, as you know, i will be teaching you all to defend yourselves against cantelopes. Unless you have proper technique, it is hard to fend off a cantelope. You are all going to develop this technique, and properly i might add. Now, who wants to volunteer to be the assailant so i can demonstrate the technique to the class?"
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Posted: Sun May 08, 2005 7:26 am
Phoenixstormclaw "Good morning class. Today, as you know, i will be teaching you all to defend yourselves against cantelopes. Unless you have proper technique, it is hard to fend off a cantelope. You are all going to develop this technique, and properly i might add. Now, who wants to volunteer to be the assailant so i can demonstrate the technique to the class?" Ill volunteer,. biggrin
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Posted: Sun May 08, 2005 4:04 pm
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Posted: Mon May 09, 2005 12:55 am
"Brilliant. Don't worry, i am not going to shoot you like John Cleese did." Phoenix handed Leif Erikson the cantelope and said "Attack me!"
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Posted: Mon May 09, 2005 2:58 pm
eek Careful with that cantelope...
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Posted: Tue May 10, 2005 2:32 am
((I know, they are deadly!))
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Posted: Wed May 11, 2005 10:50 pm
this banana almost poked out my eye! whee
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Posted: Thu May 12, 2005 4:58 pm
But you must mind those rasberries! I know I wouldn't want to meet rotten bunch of 'em
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Posted: Thu May 12, 2005 11:27 pm
Aludra_lyra But you must mind those rasberries! I know I wouldn't want to meet rotten bunch of 'em *places raspberries gently back down and backs away* erm... i didn't mean to hurt them...
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Posted: Fri May 13, 2005 12:10 am
"Aludra_lyra is absolutely correct. Raspberries are completely dangreous. Perhaps we will tackle them when we are finished with cantelopes and other melons. The hardest fruit to block is in fact the banana because of all the nutrients in it. Damn nutrients! scream
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Posted: Fri May 13, 2005 5:05 pm
* Saluts Her Fresh Fruit defence instructor.* And the horrors of facing a man armed with a banana can drive a person insane... Me mum met a man armed with a banana and that's why I'm here crying
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Posted: Sat May 14, 2005 2:23 am
Aludra_lyra * Saluts Her Fresh Fruit defence instructor.* And the horrors of facing a man armed with a banana can drive a person insane... Me mum met a man armed with a banana and that's why I'm here crying oh my... those bananas are dangerous....
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Posted: Sat May 14, 2005 2:40 am
*Pats Aludra_lyra on the back. "There, there. No need to bring up your reasons for hating those vile things that nutritionists call fruit. Even doctors hate fruit. They are being run out of business because of it! The old saying is an apple a day keeps the doctor away and doctors are losing customers. We must destroy all fruit."
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Posted: Sat May 14, 2005 12:38 pm
terry jones:pinapple
John cleese: WHERE?
terry jones: no i was just saying
john cleese: oh write i thought my number was up then
hehehehe i am a official pythonite lol have any of you seen the bycicle tour poor mikey
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