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 Posted: Sun Sep 19, 2004 7:09 am
All right! We all have them. We've all heard them. It doesn't have to be about you, but it had better be true. 3nodding Amuse us!
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Posted: Sun Sep 19, 2004 7:29 am
This one goes back to the late eighties. My buddy, Shawn, was a skinny 15 year old wrestler and competing in the Poquoson Halloween Classic, a big high school tournament. Shawn was a freshman, so the coach didn't really give a crap about him, but that changed quick.
They were weighing in in the locker room, and Shawn was talking to some of the guys. There was this big guy sitting across from him in a warm-up suit.
"So, how much do you weigh?", the big guy asked, making small talk.
"125. How about you?"
"125." The big guy said with a smile. Shawn was sure that the guy was messing with him. He was big. Shawn figured that he had to weigh 180 to 200, easy. Shawn weighed in and went to warm up. The big guy weighed in last, and Shawn asked about him. Sure enough the guy weighed in at 125.
Shawn wrestler his first match and pinned his opponent. The coach suddenly started paying attention to him. Shawn then wanted to see the big guy's match. He sat and watched as the big guy took off his warm-up suit...
...and then pulled off his prostetic leg.
Shawn's jaw was on the floor. The big guy put his stump on the mat under him, and had his good leg in front. He destroyed his first opponent in 30 seconds. He was so low that he couldn't be shot in on. He was all upper-body, so no one in that weigh class could outmuscle him.
Shawn and the big guy tore through the competition and ended up facing each other in the semi-finals.
"Coach, I don't know if I can wrestle this guy."
"Shawn, I don't care what he's missing. Get out there and kick his a**."
Shawn's my buddy, but sometime's not the sharpest knife in the drawer. He locked up with the guy and got manhandled. He was being thrown all over the place. The guy was scoring points all over Shawn. He finally caught Shawn in a cheap sleeper hold. Shawn's tapping out, he's seeing stars. The ref sees the illegal hold and breaks it up. Shawn can barely breath.
"Ref", He rasped, barely able to speak, "I need 2 minutes. I need an injury time-out."
"No!" The ref snapped. "You wrestle, or you forfet!"
Shawn... flipped... out.
At the whistle, Shawn swatted the guy on his forehead, and started running around him in a circle as fast as he could. The big guy was spinning himself on his stump trying to keep up. Shawn got behind him and stiff armed him in the back of the neck, sending him falling forward. Shawn shot in and grabbed him BY THE STUMP! He was pulling on it, twisting it, figure-fouring it. The crowd watched in horror as the big guy screamed in pain.
When it was over, Shawn had pinned him As the ref raised Shawn's hand, 3000 people yelled, "BOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!"
And on the sideline was Shawn's coach, clapping. "******** 'em, Shawn. Good match."
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Posted: Sun Sep 19, 2004 9:26 am
Well, I guess I can share my first Black & White moment.
It was about early 90's and i'm about 6-8 years old. I didn't really have friends so I was an open target to get picked on.
The one day I was walking around the park just watching what's going on to see if anyone was out playing anything like hand ball or anything like that. After walking for a bit, a group of kids that I didn't see before were walking in my direction.they were about my age I think except for the one who I would guess was about 10-12. I didn't do anything but the one kid was being a bother. I tried to ignore him walking away from him but the group kept on following me.
When I got to the basketball cort, I stopped and asked them why they were following me. The one kid just simply said that I was a pain, then one of the boys in the group hit me from behind me right in my head. I fell to the ground but one thing was odd about it. I felt like blacking out but something just snaped I guess. I got up quickly and attacked the boy who hit me and he still had his back turned so i hit him in the head. He went down crying then I charged at the oldest one and I got two good hits on his face. One on the nose and the other right on the cheek. He was surprised with my sudden out burst he just kept dodgeing my other hits. Everyone else was watching me and him going at it, then he was open and gave him a good upper cut hitting the nose. He began bleeding on the spot and backed off then the group and him ran away as fast as they could.
For some reason when I think about it, when I did beat him up, I felt a little.....Dark. I don't know why but for some reason...I liked it. twisted
I guess that would be my Black & White moment I guess. And for the record, YES, this did happen to me. Just don't ask why I'm a target to some people, I just am for some reason.
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Posted: Sun Sep 19, 2004 7:09 pm
mine is rather funny
My little brother loves to fight me even thought i do martial arts. One day i was practicing a kata and he came out to screw with me , followed by my father an older brother. I looked at my father and he said that i could go ahead and fight him. As soon as my brother came forward , i layed into him with just as many punches as i could throw. I jumped back and he came running at me. I simply threw a front kick expecting him to doge. Well, my little brother did not doge the kick like i thought and it cought him right in the privates. My dad had to stop me becouse i was about to crack him right across the neck with a chop. I think this i funny for two reasons. One, my brother thinks he is mister big and bad. Two, lets just say he didn't learn his lesson the first time.
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Posted: Sun Sep 19, 2004 9:15 pm
here's a story of something...weird happening to me sparring against a woman.
now, I go to a kickboxing school, and some of the older people may remember me speaking of that beast of a woman, michelle before.. she's about two or three inches shorter than me, weighs probably 20 lbs more than me and hits like a truck.
anyhow, on one of the first occassions we ever sparred, I front kicked michelle right in the chest..now, mind you, michelle usually wears a chest protector, so I was expecting the telltale thud of hitting one..instead, my foot sinks right into her left boob. the second my foot came down, my face turned red...but I didn't even have the chance to say oops, cause michelle saw me hesitate and decided a good right cross to the nose would be in order.
I was still so shocked in kicking her boob, I didn't even think about blocking. the next thing I know, I'm staring at the ceiling..still beet red. sweatdrop
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Posted: Mon Sep 20, 2004 2:24 am
@ marty: LMAO thats the funniest story....
best woopin I ever got was at comp. The first comp I went to I was quite a low grade and by more luck than judgement I managed to do quite well and came out with a second. The second comp i went to i was a bit higher grade an I went in with a fair amount of confidence, after all I'd got a second last time. The first round I was up against this guy several grades higher than me and he totally handed me my arse, it was really embarresing, my instructor videod it aswell, so whenever I'm feelin big headed I can watch my humiliation over and over again... sigh ever since whenever I've been to comp I've kept that experience in mind and been really pleased if I got passed the first round
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Posted: Tue Sep 28, 2004 9:07 am
A few years ago my organization ,the Kyoshinkan, had a challenge tournament. Strictly in-house. Grand prize was a sword. There were five of us in the black belt devision. There also were only about five spectators.
After the kata portion I was right behind the leader in points. The sparring was bare-knuckled with no weight classes. This put my my narrow butt in with 200 pound guys. I was warming up during the first match between Dwayne and paul, the two biggest guys. About a minute in we all heard a loud "SNAP". Dwayne tried to openhand block Paul's kick and his finger was then pointing about three different directions.
My buddy in attendence said, "Whoa, that sounded like a kung-fu movie!" Then he realized what had happend and promptly shut up.
From then on Dwayne was referred to as "Wrong-way Dwayne", as used as an example of what happens if you don't keep your fists closed when blocking.
Fast forward: my fourth degree black belt test.
I was about ready to s**t myself where I stood. Over twenty black belts showed up for my a**-whipping. Many of them I had trained myself. A few of the others outranked me. After going through a bunch of kata I had to fight three people, again bare-knuckled. It could have been worse since the every black belt there was ready to fight me. I truly felt the love. The three chosen were three of my students, three of my best. One of them has surpassed my speed. Another was a high powered brawler. The last was pound-for-pound the best student I've ever had. I pulled out every trick in the book on them and barely made it through.
Completely exhausted, my shihan sent out my last opponent, my sensei! That's right, DEAR OLD DAD WAS READY PUT MY a** IN A HURT LOCKER AND SLAM IT SHUT! Friends and family watched, slack-jawed, as that ol' buzzard went full-on "matrix" on me and whipped my sorry as all over the dojo. I called up the last of my reserves for a final attack. I launched a desparate combo. The combo ended with a roundhouse kick. My dad went to block.
"SNAP."
We don't make fun of Dwayne anymore.
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Posted: Tue Sep 28, 2004 3:43 pm
I know Marty's already heard this story, but it still amuses me... and the rest of my dojo.
Every year, my instructor's teacher holds a tournament, and every year, hos teacher is convinced that his students are infinitely better than our, until we whip his up and serve them with a side of beef.
So anyway, I was at one of his tournaments, november before last (two years ago?), and I had already competed, placing first in both forms and sparring. So afterwards, this guy (one of my instructor's teacher's students) kept following me around, and I was tryyyyyyyying to be nice and not tell him get the !@%^ away from me. I was getting read yo walk out to the parking lot to look for one of my friends whose match was coming up soon, to make sure he was okay, and this guy followed me. We were in an empty hallway, and he walked up and pinned me against a wall, and traced my cheekbone with his fingers, and was like "you know, you're kinda cute."
OHMIGOODNESS.
I supposed he assumed since I was a beginning rank, and he was one rank away from his black belt that he could take me as he pleased. Yeah right.
I hip threw him, kicked him good and hard in the solar plexis, and walked away. So I found my friend, and the guy had the gall to come and apologize TO MY INSTRUCTOR while I was standing there... my instructor just laughed at him.
So yeah... we still laugh pretty hard about that in class from time to time.
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Posted: Thu Sep 30, 2004 7:57 am
Here is a story from wwwwwaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyy back from when I took Tae Kwon Do at the wee age of 8. This one doesn't really involve a lot of injury but it does invlove one of my favorite butt kickings.
We were having sparring matches are for a twist our teacher adjusted the mats so that they had raised angles of little hills. This was so we could fight in more than just flat ground areas. Everything was fine until just my luck I had to fight this guy who would always defeat me in sparring matches. Well the match started and I got a punch in and scored a point, then my opponent scored a punch. He then scored a kick and we each scored one more punch against each other. So the score was my opponent 4 and me 2. He needed only one more to win and I needed 3 xp . So we were about to face off for another round when I remembered the raised elevation. So I stood on the raised part of the mat when we started the next match. The round started and my opponent charged in for the kill but just then I used the raised elevation to help me jump up and kick him in the head xd . The dude was so surprised at what happened that he was speechless. From that kick, if you are not form Tae Kwon Do, I earned three points and won the match. I was so happy then that I finally defeated this guy that I thought I could never beat. So I guess that experience taught me to use my environment to my advantage and always expect the unexpected even fomr the little guy xd
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Posted: Sat Jan 08, 2005 3:01 pm
How I made 50 cents.
We held a women's self defense seminar this week. I was in charge. We went through the basics: the awareness speech, tactical anatomy and a session with a guy in a padded suit. Some of the women there had training. The guys and I were taking a pretty good pounding.
We ended with a little knife defense. Nothing very elaborate, just control the blade and hit the b*****d. I was on knife duty. Half way through I had attaked a girl, she did well. She would have gotten nicked a little, but she would've lived. As she was walking off the mat, I turned to tell her "Good Job."
Then I turned back around.
The woman yelled "HA!" and I was pelted in the face with about 50 cents in odd change. I got out a "What the f-!" before she seized the arm holding the knife and dropped me.
It ain't easy getting money in this town. My face stung for a day.
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Posted: Wed Jan 12, 2005 6:08 pm
Proper motivation.
We were having black belt testing. Martha was getting peppered, but this was nothing new. She wasn't the best fighter, and her opponent, my cousin Scott, is sharp. Scott kept popping her in the head gear, and she kept wobbling. Then he stuck her with a front kick.
What we didn't know is that Martha washed, pressed and bleached her gi for the test. Are ther was Scott's big, black footprint.
She chased my cousin all over the dojo. And after she was done wailing on him, she went after the rest of us.
Ironicly, she never sparred that well before, and we haven't seen her since the test.
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Posted: Wed Jan 19, 2005 2:55 pm
ok this is a funny one.so get this im sure you guys now of those boards that can break and then you can put them back together right? well we have three and one is really worn out to the point that you pick it up and it falls apart.well my friend Will,Brandon,Matt,etc.(all the guys)were breaking the boards witht there heads (not the worn one the really hard one.)so then when we were all laughing they started to walk away, well when they wernt looking i took the worn one and tryed to break it with my head.well you can guess it didnt break and i hurt my head and my friend danny saw it when no one else did and started busting up laughing at me.i got all red redface and started to laugh too. then the guys turned around and wanted to know what was so funny and when danny tryed to tell them(he couldnt stop laughing)i threatened to beat him up if he ever told a soul and he shut up real quick. biggrin
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Posted: Wed Jan 19, 2005 11:25 pm
ok heres another one: this last december master klien was in the parking lot of he's do-jang and some guy came up to him with i knife and said,"give me your money."and he stuck the knife in his face.then master klien said,"i have two dollars in my pocket and if you need money then i will give it to you." then the guy said,"you'r just f'in with me."master klien said,"no i'll give you the money then if you wont to kick my but then we'll go inside where its worm in my martial arts building that i happen to own....here i'll tell you what.we can go inside you can keep your knife and if you stab or skratch me then you can take whatever you wont in the biulding."then the guy started to shake and the knife almost droped out of his hand.then he started to run in the other direction!!!! it was so funny. biggrin
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Posted: Thu Jan 20, 2005 3:19 am
MIA-BO ok heres another one: this last december master klien was in the parking lot of he's do-jang and some guy came up to him with i knife and said,"give me your money."and he stuck the knife in his face.then master klien said,"i have two dollars in my pocket and if you need money then i will give it to you." then the guy said,"you'r just f'in with me."master klien said,"no i'll give you the money then if you wont to kick my but then we'll go inside where its worm in my martial arts building that i happen to own....here i'll tell you what.we can go inside you can keep your knife and if you stab or skratch me then you can take whatever you wont in the biulding."then the guy started to shake and the knife almost droped out of his hand.then he started to run in the other direction!!!! it was so funny. biggrin That reminds me of a tale told to me someone I used to train under, he was a fifth degree instructor of a very big club, he was also an ex three times world heavyweight champion (not quite as impressive as it sounds as there are probably about a hundred world champs in TKD every year but very impressive nether the less). He was sat in his car lookin over some paper work and a big group of lads went up to his car started being really abusive, so he got out of his car, you have to picture this, he was 6'8" easy and built like a brick shithouse, for those poor lads it must have been like an eclipse, and quietly asked them (he was very softly spoken) if they'd like to come in and try his class, needless to say they went quiet very quickly and backed off.
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Posted: Thu Jan 20, 2005 5:31 am
DarklingGlory MIA-BO ok heres another one: this last december master klien was in the parking lot of he's do-jang and some guy came up to him with i knife and said,"give me your money."and he stuck the knife in his face.then master klien said,"i have two dollars in my pocket and if you need money then i will give it to you." then the guy said,"you'r just f'in with me."master klien said,"no i'll give you the money then if you wont to kick my but then we'll go inside where its worm in my martial arts building that i happen to own....here i'll tell you what.we can go inside you can keep your knife and if you stab or skratch me then you can take whatever you wont in the biulding."then the guy started to shake and the knife almost droped out of his hand.then he started to run in the other direction!!!! it was so funny. biggrin That reminds me of a tale told to me someone I used to train under, he was a fifth degree instructor of a very big club, he was also an ex three times world heavyweight champion (not quite as impressive as it sounds as there are probably about a hundred world champs in TKD every year but very impressive nether the less). He was sat in his car lookin over some paper work and a big group of lads went up to his car started being really abusive, so he got out of his car, you have to picture this, he was 6'8" easy and built like a brick shithouse, for those poor lads it must have been like an eclipse, and quietly asked them (he was very softly spoken) if they'd like to come in and try his class, needless to say they went quiet very quickly and backed off. That's freakin' outstanding. I love it!!!
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