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 Posted: Sun Jul 30, 2006 5:32 pm
Beyond Dead
Here I sit,
All alone.
Feel so cold;
Distant from the world.
Torn apart,
Piece by piece.
Then put together again,
Very crudely done.
Left vulnerable to the cold,
With no place left to go.
Left to find shelter in one's self,
Living off what remains of myself.
So much confusion
Mind so twisted,
Can't see clearly;
No hand for assistance.
Finally found a room
That's never been opened.
I stepped inside
And found reassurance.
I claimed it as my own
Before I could be killed again.
This will be my foundation,
So I won't cave in again.
This is my room,
That wasn't ever truly gone.
This is my soul
That wasn't ever truly forgotten.
It took a huge storm
To show me what was in hiding.
Now I must rebuild
The life that I am still finding.
-by Erica (aka, me)
Very quick summary of this is that this was based off of my depression a year ago. If you want the full summary of notes (which is very long, because I disect the poem) I'll give you the link to it.
All constructive critisism appreciated.
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Posted: Mon Aug 07, 2006 9:49 am
I like it. It's sad, but really pretty. It's a good free verse, and I usually don't like those as much.
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Posted: Mon Aug 07, 2006 6:26 pm
It's very deep, very beautiful. I like it, you are a very good writer/poet.
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Posted: Wed Aug 09, 2006 6:39 am
Thanks for the comments. I think it's probably my best work so far.
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Posted: Wed Aug 09, 2006 4:02 pm
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Posted: Sun Aug 13, 2006 9:09 am
It's excelent. Kind of leaves a feeling of longing.
Not many can do that like so.
Very beautiful.
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Posted: Wed Aug 23, 2006 1:44 pm
Its your own santurary, well writen
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Posted: Thu Sep 21, 2006 5:58 am
Senchou Ari Mizuko I like it. It's sad, but really pretty. It's a good free verse, and I usually don't like those as much. Free verse? Free verse is when a sentence continues onto a second line. Example: My mind lingered behind the shut prison walls. They live tortured forever. That's where demons lurk.
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Posted: Fri Sep 22, 2006 3:25 pm
No, any poem can continue a sentence on another line. Free verse means there is no specific rhyme or rhythm pattern.
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Posted: Mon Sep 25, 2006 9:59 pm
Ok, whatever. Just not what I learned it to be. rolleyes
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