EMCEE: Ladies and gentlemen, the mayor of Quahog, Adam West!
[Applause]
Adam West Thank you, thank you, thank you very much.
Adam West Thank you.
Adam West Thank you. Thank you.
Adam West It was 360 years ago that Quahog founder Miles "Chatterbox" Musket set sail for the new colony of Rhode Island.
Miles : You know what I'm gonna do when we get to shore? First I'm gonna have me a snack. No! Shower!
Miles Shower first, snack second. But I hope I see Indians.
Miles You think they'll have American cheese?
Adam West: Ever the free thinker Miles was thrown overboard for speaking his mind.
Adam West He was as good as dead. But as legend has it he was saved by a magic clam who brought him to shore and shared the vision of a new colony which would be called Quahog.
Clam : There are fields for tilling, woods for timber and the bounty of the sea.
Miles: Look at all this sand!
Miles Did you know there are beaches with black sand? Did I pack my towel?
Clam : Are you listening? I'm trying to help you.
Adam West: And help he did. Thanks to the clam's leadership Quahog became a great and prosperous settlement.
Adam West But relations between Miles and the clam soon soured.
Miles MILES: I know he's an Indian. But what kind of name is Squanto?
Miles "Leslie" or something like that would be nice.
Clam Shut up! God, keep it to yourself once in a while!
Clam Here. Look what I'm doing. Watch this.
Clam Look, see that? Yeah!
Clam Now try it with me. Okay?
Miles [Sniffing]
Miles [Sighing]
Adam West: Things only got worse.
Adam West Before long, Miles began to contemplate killing the clam.
[Sinister instrumental music]
Clam : I was awake last night, Miles. I saw you.
Clam I think it's time for me to go.
Clam I'll send for my things.
[Sentimental instrumental music]
Miles : Wait! Don't go! I'm sorry!
Miles [Loud crying]
Adam West: Miles never spoke again. But every year until his death from a combination of tuberculosis and a tomahawk to the head he went to the shore on this day in hopes that the magic clam would return.
Adam West Today, we citizens of Quahog continue this tradition.
Adam West What's that?
Adam West Something out at sea?
Adam West Clam-ho!
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