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One of my friends killed himself this morning... well, he wasn't really my friend, but I had seen his xanga and commented a few times. My best friend, Erica, knew him pretty well, though. His father had posted on his xanga, telling all of us what had happened, and I was the first to find it. He posted the note his son had left before he died, it was so heartbreaking. He had written that "Nannermonkey: Dude, I loved your comments, they made me laugh. I wish I could have gotten to know you better.", I cried when I read this. Then, I had to be the one to tell Erica, the way he had said good-bye to her was so sad, that me me want to cry too. When I told her, all she said was "I'll call you back later.", I felt so bad for her, I know she's going to think that it was her fault... I know I shouldn't be telling everyone this, but please just pray for him, okay?

I hate to be a damper, but if you believe in praying, then you believe in Hell, which is where Suicide cases go. I have thought about suicide once, it simply took a very graphic mental image of my mother looking over my coffin crying her heart out to cause me to think otherwise. I don't like to see my mother cry, and I know that while I wouldn't know she was crying at the time, I know she would if I did it.
I believe that people shouldn't let life overrun them, but many times good people do and they end up giving up. It's not the way, and that's the problem, they don't see that there is the potential for life to get better. Particularly if you're a minor. If you go to school, graduate, then you get a job, maybe go to college, you can make your own life. A shame about it is the fact that they haven't had a true chance to taste their lives before ending them.

However, I will pray for your friend's soul, and I am sorry for you loss.

((this is taken from Micheals Xanga, read, feel free to comment))

((if you or a loved one is suffering from depression, please let me know, im more than willing to help. i have lost a friend to scuicide before, i understand what your going through to some extent, your not alone. This thread is partially made to Help those who are feeling sad or scuicidal. Were all here to help each other, so please, dont feel guilty to say something. We all love you, and are here for you))

[taken from Micheals xanga, marking days before his Completion of Scuicide]

Saturday, April 09, 2005

Hello,

This is Michaels Father. This morning, Michael commited suicide. He left me a letter telling me of his feelings. I wish I had known sooner. He left saying "I want my friends to know what I wrote.". I have lost everything worth living. I will go on for my son. On Wensday will be Michaels funeral. He saw you all that read this his friends. We will all miss Michael, most of all, how he was a great person. I will allow this site to remain open.

As a Father, you will never know how much I grieve, for losing my wife, and now my son. I will live my life, and try to be happy. I know Michael would have liked that.

To those that knew him on this xanga.

Erica B: "I really miss you...Heaven is wonderful, I'll be waiting one day far from, when I wrote this.."

Morgan: "Morgan, you where great, I loved looking and seeing a smiling face. I mean on a xanga. It made me smile. For reasons of my suicide, I can not say. I am sorry...I will see you though, we will all meet one day, in the arms of god."

Erica S: "Thank you for coming to my xanga. It did mean alot."

Nannermonkey: "Dude you made me laugh at your comments I wish I had gotten to get to know you more."


That is it, that is all my son wrote. He wanted to say goodbye to you all. I pray that god takes him with open arms.



-Father of Michael.

Pray

Rest in Peace Michael.
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Thursday, April 07, 2005

Hey..........I got beaten even worse this time...but only my pride. I dont feel good, I hate being sick..I feel like Im going to die. I hate this place...I've only been here bout three weeks and I hate it. I want to come home..Guys, this might be the last time I ever get on xanga...I want you all to know I loved writing, I loved drawing. I liked to do stuff with my friends. I hate my new life, and I just want to end it. I went to the school shrink they where like "lifes tough" Im looked away and cried. I wish life wasnt so cruel, I mean, ever since mom died, I just havent been the same I mean...I didnt want you guys to know but Im very very depressed and it scares my dad how I am..Erica, thanks but that wont help...No amount of speaking on the phone will help. Thank you Morgan. Thanks I think your names Bryan if not then Nannermonkey. I hope all of you have happy lives. God bless you all...Even those that never came to my xanga....Erica, please, be truthful to your heart, you dont want to be angry. Morgan, I loved your pictures. Oh well, Nannermonkey thanks ffor your funny comments. I really liked them. Guys, I just hope you can forgive me. Thank you every one. Im seriouse I am thankful for you all.



Michael...

P.S

this is my farewell....
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Wednesday, April 06, 2005

hey....I got beaten up my second day at school....Cause they said I sounded wierd..and I dressed like a f**..Or acted...Which ever you perfer, I mean damn this place is harsh! I like some of my classes..The guy that kissed me names Ash, hes really cool..Hes not bi or anything but hes pretty cool and so far my only friend at school. I cant explain how much this place is different. I havent heard from a few people, Im getting sad.
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Monday, April 04, 2005

Hey im so bored, school is tomorow, damn I dont want to go. I meet my teachers already and well lets just say they dont seem to like me already! Its a record. Maybe they had a hard day the day I met them. Ah well wish me luck !!!

Thanks Touma~Kun, it really means a lot. ^_^

crying

i tear a little every time i see this.....

I'm very sorry and though I'm not Catholic, I spare a thought for your departed friend. It's sad when things like this happen, when people think that there is no solution except through death.
sad
Having lost more than one friend to suicide, I share your pain and if there's anything I may do, you only need to ask.

sweatdrop
uhm...ok.
sweatdrop ninja