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I've decided to have scarification done! The design is small, and kindof tribal, but one I designed myself, and I plan on doing it myself as well. I know the process and I cut anyways, so no big deal, right?

Problem is: my boyfriend is going to FREAK! I've decied to do it without telling him about it first, that wya he doesnt have the chance to talk me out of it. *sigh*

how should I break it to him?

Hmm... touchy subject when it comes to the feelings of a significant other. No matter what angle I take with it on as far as advice giving is concerned it'll end up being rather lengthy. Not sure if you wanna hear all of it or not. stressed

Yeah, it's your body, and your choice. Be up front about it. If he won't accept it, let him know that you're only telling him so he knows, you're not asking permission.

Something to consider in it is wether you see the relationship between the two of you a long term thing with a possible commitment later down the road. If you don't see it lasting (honestly in your heart) then I wouldn't worry much about it either way. He doesn't have the right to tell you what you can and can't do. As only a boyfriend you may choose to give the courtesy of taking his feelings into consideration, but he doesn't hold any sort of control in those decisions unless you guys have a deeper relationship (and by this I mean an engagement or marraige.) Even then he couldn't really stop you, but his feelings in the decision should hold a bit more wheight then. I'd tell him straight up that he needs to back off with how controlling he's trying to be. If he doesn't like it, then it's his choice to leave if he can't accept it. How far are you willing to let him go in the control factor?

I've been through many abusive/heavily controlled relationships before....I promised myself I wouldn't let it happen again. *sigh* but things started out so well this time. crying

If it gets much worse, then, yes, I will get out. He's been pretty great about alot of things: doesn't care much how I dress, doesn't fuss about my cutting, isn't violent- at least not without a good reason...

*sigh* I've already decided to do it whether he wants me to or not. whatever happens after that is pretty much decided by his behaviour in reaction to it...
I really do not want to loose him, but I refuse to change who I am... If it comes to me having to get rid of him, then so be it.

But then, I feel I cant be too hard on him...I got him into a monogomous relationship...that alone was a huge accomplishment on my part. I suppose I could give him a bit of tiem to adjust, and then bring up the matter when he fully gets used to the idea of fidelity...

*sigh* relationships are so damn complicated.

Ripping it out?? eek Are you sure he's the right guy for you..? sweatdrop

Any body modification is a big decision and should be consulted with anyone you feel close to - since they'll have to deal with it as well.

I mean, no one is saying you cannot get it done if your boyfriend doesn't want you to, but DO tell him. A relationship with secrets WILL go down the drain quickly. Experience. Yes. >_>;

I'll tell him...but I'm making it clear that I'm doing it whether he wants me to or not.