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Posted: Fri May 26, 2006 12:50 pm
The gentle breeze dries the eyes, of a tainted boy surrounded by lies, always present, smuthering; suffocating; clouding his judgment & agonizing every bit of his pathetic life
his angled bangs can't hide the pain and shame, nor the vast amounts of eyeliner, scars on his arms for a little attention, he recieved more than he wanted
i tell the story of the boy in tight cloting to all the people i know how he commited suicide before the age of 18, he happened to cut to far down, though it was no accident.
as his life flashed before his eyes he realized, I realized, we all realized,
the boy was me
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Posted: Fri May 26, 2006 1:21 pm
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Posted: Fri May 26, 2006 4:02 pm
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Posted: Sat May 27, 2006 9:13 am
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Posted: Sat May 27, 2006 4:14 pm
I didn't get it for a sec cuz i thought you were a girl... but if you psoted this.... you aint' dead. lol I know whatcha meant. Don't cut It sucks, but it's pretty good but not what I would perfer cuzi'm me but yeah
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Posted: Sat May 27, 2006 6:06 pm
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Posted: Mon Jun 12, 2006 9:33 am
i really really like it. you have somthing.
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Posted: Mon Jun 12, 2006 2:51 pm
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Posted: Thu Jun 29, 2006 10:41 am
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Posted: Sat Jul 01, 2006 7:14 am
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Posted: Mon Jul 17, 2006 6:48 am
i love it- i write stuff like that too
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Posted: Mon Jul 17, 2006 5:50 pm
i think its really cute i like the end when we realize its us ...cool..wish i had the writing talent everytime i want to write i got writers block sweatdrop
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Posted: Thu Jul 20, 2006 10:38 am
In the beginning, it's really good, but somewhere around the 3rd and 4th stanzas, it sort of loses something. Keep trying though, you have talent, you really do.
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Posted: Thu Jul 20, 2006 9:49 pm
I love poems/songs with deep lyrics I heart it surprised
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Posted: Fri Jul 21, 2006 12:21 pm
not bad. it lost something around the middle point though
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