News Askew from March 16
We got a lot of mail on this today, so we figured we'd run it. For those of you unfamiliar, this whole thing started when a UK tabloid group called the "3am girls" decided to talk smack on "Jersey Girl" last year, attacking Kevin, Ben, and the film for no good reason at all. In an update late last night, we ran Kevin's acceptance speech at Empire where he again mentioned the incident (read it and you'll be fully educated on what went down). The girls now have again taken action against Kevin, this time writing in today's column from The Mirror:
ALAS SMITH AND MOANS
When we pointed out last year that director Kevin Smith's movie Jersey Girl had failed to set the box-office alight, it appears we touched a nerve.
Since then he's mentioned the so-called slur in every interview, and at this weekend's Empire Film Awards still had the cutting in his pocket.
Kev, mate, we can only apologise. We're genuinely sorry more people didn't flock to see your movie, which was described by one critic as "A more unbearable film than Gigli."
While it's flattering to be the focus of your obsession, we think enough's enough. Maybe it's time you concentrated on your film career.
Otherwise, a measly Empire award is the first and last gong you're likely to win.
Kevin's posted quite a few responses in this ongoing battle of words, which we've got for you just ahead (Kevin's comments in standard blue and italics, theirs in red):
ALAS SMITH AND MOANS
I'd imagine that's supposed to be "Alias Smith and Moans."
When we pointed out last year that director Kevin Smith's movie Jersey Girl had failed to set the box-office alight, it appears we touched a nerve.
If that's what Headley got out of all that - that I'm miffed about something they said about "Jersey Girl" - then she's as dumb as she is hard to look at, and as thick in the head as she is in the ankles
For the record: it was the "fat, bearded, Hobbit-like" bit and the "insiders say" made-up crap that I've always objected to..
Since then he's mentioned the so-called slur in every interview,
Um, I believe I've mentioned it five times exactly in nine months: once during the intro to "Jersey Girl" at the UK premiere, once during the Prince Charles Theater Q&A back in June, once while recording the commentary track for the "Jersey Girl" dvd, once during the Criterion Theater Q&A (for inclusion on the "Evening With Kevin Smith 2: Evening Harder" dvd), and once at the Empire Awards (largely because Headley was in attendance and amidst a room of folks who already can't stand her).
and at this weekend's Empire Film Awards still had the cutting in his pocket.
Wasn't a clipping I had in my pocket; it was just the two quotes I read. Unlike those twats, I believe in accuracy, hence I wanted to quote their bullshit exactly as they penned it.
Kev, mate, we can only apologise. We're genuinely sorry more people didn't flock to see your movie, which was described by one critic as "A more unbearable film than Gigli."
No apology necessary. As I told you the other night (after you tried to lay the blame for the "fat, bearded, Hobbit-like" quote off on your co-"columnists" instead of simply accepting the responsibility), at the end of the day, you gave me one more great story to tell in Q&A's. And as you saw the other night, Caroline (and as you'll see on the "Evening With Kevin Smith 2" dvd), it goes over like gangbusters with a crowd. What was especially delicious about the Empire Awards, though was that you were seated in the midst of the crowd in question... and it still went over huge. What self-respecting individual can sit in a room packed with people laughing at the mediocrity of their existence? Ladies and gentlemen, I give you Caroline Headley.
While it's flattering to be the focus of your obsession, we think enough's enough. Maybe it's time you concentrated on your film career.
Like many multi-faceted individuals, I can do two things at once. Yet "obsession"? Hardly. But when I'm in your backyard, it's a no-brainer to push your snout in the mud. That material wouldn't play across the pond because, really - who the ******** knows (or cares) what a 3am Girl is over here?
Otherwise, a measly Empire award is the first and last gong you're likely to win
What a biting comeback. *yawn*
For the record, a few awards I've won in the past: at Sundance, I won the Filmmaker's Trophy. In Cannes, I won the Prix de la Jeunesse and the International Critic's Week Prize. At the Independent Spirit Awards, I won Best Screenplay for "Chasing Amy." I've won the Defender of Democracy Award from PFAW, and a Humanitas for "Good Will Hunting."
But, really... dismissing an Empire Award as "measly"? Not a way to get invited back to next year's program, is it?
This proves that you can learn something new every day: apparently, there is such a thing as a "useless c**t."
Will this finally allow the girls to move on from this? We hope so.
ALAS SMITH AND MOANS
When we pointed out last year that director Kevin Smith's movie Jersey Girl had failed to set the box-office alight, it appears we touched a nerve.
Since then he's mentioned the so-called slur in every interview, and at this weekend's Empire Film Awards still had the cutting in his pocket.
Kev, mate, we can only apologise. We're genuinely sorry more people didn't flock to see your movie, which was described by one critic as "A more unbearable film than Gigli."
While it's flattering to be the focus of your obsession, we think enough's enough. Maybe it's time you concentrated on your film career.
Otherwise, a measly Empire award is the first and last gong you're likely to win.
Kevin's posted quite a few responses in this ongoing battle of words, which we've got for you just ahead (Kevin's comments in standard blue and italics, theirs in red):
ALAS SMITH AND MOANS
I'd imagine that's supposed to be "Alias Smith and Moans."
When we pointed out last year that director Kevin Smith's movie Jersey Girl had failed to set the box-office alight, it appears we touched a nerve.
If that's what Headley got out of all that - that I'm miffed about something they said about "Jersey Girl" - then she's as dumb as she is hard to look at, and as thick in the head as she is in the ankles
For the record: it was the "fat, bearded, Hobbit-like" bit and the "insiders say" made-up crap that I've always objected to..
Since then he's mentioned the so-called slur in every interview,
Um, I believe I've mentioned it five times exactly in nine months: once during the intro to "Jersey Girl" at the UK premiere, once during the Prince Charles Theater Q&A back in June, once while recording the commentary track for the "Jersey Girl" dvd, once during the Criterion Theater Q&A (for inclusion on the "Evening With Kevin Smith 2: Evening Harder" dvd), and once at the Empire Awards (largely because Headley was in attendance and amidst a room of folks who already can't stand her).
and at this weekend's Empire Film Awards still had the cutting in his pocket.
Wasn't a clipping I had in my pocket; it was just the two quotes I read. Unlike those twats, I believe in accuracy, hence I wanted to quote their bullshit exactly as they penned it.
Kev, mate, we can only apologise. We're genuinely sorry more people didn't flock to see your movie, which was described by one critic as "A more unbearable film than Gigli."
No apology necessary. As I told you the other night (after you tried to lay the blame for the "fat, bearded, Hobbit-like" quote off on your co-"columnists" instead of simply accepting the responsibility), at the end of the day, you gave me one more great story to tell in Q&A's. And as you saw the other night, Caroline (and as you'll see on the "Evening With Kevin Smith 2" dvd), it goes over like gangbusters with a crowd. What was especially delicious about the Empire Awards, though was that you were seated in the midst of the crowd in question... and it still went over huge. What self-respecting individual can sit in a room packed with people laughing at the mediocrity of their existence? Ladies and gentlemen, I give you Caroline Headley.
While it's flattering to be the focus of your obsession, we think enough's enough. Maybe it's time you concentrated on your film career.
Like many multi-faceted individuals, I can do two things at once. Yet "obsession"? Hardly. But when I'm in your backyard, it's a no-brainer to push your snout in the mud. That material wouldn't play across the pond because, really - who the ******** knows (or cares) what a 3am Girl is over here?
Otherwise, a measly Empire award is the first and last gong you're likely to win
What a biting comeback. *yawn*
For the record, a few awards I've won in the past: at Sundance, I won the Filmmaker's Trophy. In Cannes, I won the Prix de la Jeunesse and the International Critic's Week Prize. At the Independent Spirit Awards, I won Best Screenplay for "Chasing Amy." I've won the Defender of Democracy Award from PFAW, and a Humanitas for "Good Will Hunting."
But, really... dismissing an Empire Award as "measly"? Not a way to get invited back to next year's program, is it?
This proves that you can learn something new every day: apparently, there is such a thing as a "useless c**t."
Will this finally allow the girls to move on from this? We hope so.
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