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Posted: Fri May 05, 2006 12:02 am
Here are some examples of errors written to questions in a religion class.
1. Who did David fight?
The Finkelsteins, a race of people who lived n Biblical times.
2. Where did Moses go to get the Ten Commandments?
To the top of Mount Cyanide.
3. What is the seventh commandment?
Thou shalt not commit adultery.
4. Why was Jesus born?
Because Mary had immacualte contraption.
5. Who was Noah's wife?
Joan of Ark
6. A Christian has one wife. What is this called?
Monotony
7. What is the story about Lot's wife?
She was a pillar of salt in the day and a ball of fire at night.
8. Who was Joshua?
He led the Hebrews in the Battle of Geritol.
9. Tell about the history of the Jews.
They had trouble throughout their history with unsympathetic Genitals.
10. Who were the followers of Jesus?
The twelve Decibels.
11. Who were the apostles?
They were the wives of the twelve epistles who sometimes danced in front of King Harrod's.
12. Who was St. Mathew?
He was one of the twelve opossums.
13, Who were Adam and Eve?
Adam was created from an apple tree, then he broke his rib and gave it to Eve and made her a woman.
Correct the crazy answers students have written on social studies quizes.
1. How did Napoleon prepare his troops for the Battle of Waterloo?
He mustarded his troops before the battle.
2. Who was Solomon?
He was a Hebrew king who fought the Philanthropists. He had 400 wives and 600 porcupines.
3. Who did the British defeat?
Queen Elizabeth sunk the Spanish Armadillo and became king of the sea.
4. Who was Christopher Columbus?
He ran into land when he was cursing around the Pacific Ocean in three ships called the Pinto, Nina, andSante Fe.
5. What were the people of Egypt called?
Mummies. They made unleavened bread which was made with no ingredients, and that's why they all died at once.
6. Why was Sir Walter Raleigh an important explorer?
He invented cigarettes.
7. Why was Sir Francis Drake an important explorer?
He sailed around and circumcised the world with a 30 metre clipper.
8. Select three famous inventors from the list and describe their contributions.
Louis Pasture found a cure for rabbis on the farm. Samuel Morse designed a secret code for mental telepathy, and Madam Currie invented uranium.
9. Who was Isaac Newton?
He was an explorer who invented gravity that makes snow and rain fall from heaven.
10. Who was Samuel Hearne?
He was a famous explorer who went to the Arctic and killed a tribe of Inuit. But he came back a disappointed man anddied early in life. He went to England.
11. Who was Karl Marx?
One of the Marx Brothers, maybe the first one.
12. Who was Martin Luther?
He was the great-great grandfather ofMartin Luther King. He got nailed to the church door for doingpapal indugences. Then he was excommunicated by a bull.
13. What made Gutenberg so famous?
He got a newspaper and wrote the Bible.
14. Why is the Magna Carta important?
It is a paper that says free people should not be hanged twice for the same crime. Slaves, therefore, could be hanged more than once, depending on how many crimes they had committed.
15. Tell the story of William Tell.
He shot an arrow through an apple while standing on his son's head.
16. What was the names of the architectural columns designed by the ancient Greeks?
Corinthian, Done, and Ironic.
17. Describe the ancient Greeks' Olympic Games.
They lifted weights, raced for gold, hurled the biscuits, and threw the java. The winners were given a coral wreath.
18. Who was Abraham Lincoln?
He was an American president whose mother died in infancy. He signed the Emasculation Proclamation. He was assasinated by John Wilkes Booth who was an actor in a movie.
19. How did Socrates die?
From an overdose of wedlock.
20. Who was Nero?
He was a Ramone king fiddle player. He tortured his subjects by playing the fiddle to them until finally they burned the city down.
21. What happened to Sir John Franklin?
He froze to death in the Arctic and later died somewhere where nobody knows. He got lost and is still dead.
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Posted: Tue May 30, 2006 10:47 pm
"Why was Sir Walter Raleigh an important explorer? He invented cigarettes. " Indeed.
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