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 Posted: Wed Apr 19, 2006 7:34 pm
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Posted: Mon May 01, 2006 4:13 pm
--->from caf
Michale stormed down the hall and found his room without too much trouble.
He wasn't even aware of Angel following him as he slammed the door behind him. He flopped down on his bed and sighed, willing his heartrate to slow, and his heavy breathing to ease. He could feel his body shaking and he growled. Too soon...it was too soon.
Holding up his trembling hand, he stared at it, waiting for the wave nauseau to subside. His other hand went automatically to the rack of puncture marks on his upper arm, concealed under the jacket. Why wouldn't the shaking stop? He continued to stare at his hand, waiting for the shaking to stop, knowing it wouldn't...
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Posted: Mon May 01, 2006 4:20 pm
==> From caf
Angel ran after Michale, the other boy didn't seem to hear or notice him. The door slammed shut down the hallway. He had never seen Michale so distraught before, and his face was bleeding. He hoped he was ok. So many thing were running through his head that he became mor and more terrified with each thought.
Forgetting his normal demenor, Angel rushed in through the door and froze. Michale was laying on the bed but....his hand was raised and was shaking....Angel remembered that he HAD seen him so distraught before...but it was at a different time...when....did that mean?
"Michale...." he broke the silence staring at the hand, he wasn't even sure Michale had heard him come in...but hearing his name he would notice Angel now...and Angel could see what was going on
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Posted: Mon May 01, 2006 6:11 pm
Michale truly had been too absorbed in his own thoughts to hear Angel come in, trying to focus on making the shaking stop. It was when the boy spoke that he became aware of his prescence. He jumped off the bed, glaring at the boy. Had he seen...? Angel would know what was happening...Good thing he still had his jacket on...and without his realizing it, his hand went again to the needle pricks on his left arm, despite the fact that they were covered.
He sighed and his expression softened. Angel was his only hope to fix this. He released his arm and sat on the bed, motioning for Angel to sit beside him. He wiped at his mouth again, the bleeding finally beginning to stop.
"Angel..." he said quietly. Damn but why did this have to happen now?
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Posted: Mon May 01, 2006 6:18 pm
Angel saw Michale jump up, face like he had just been caught, hand going to the inside of his other arm. When motioned over he didn't move, he could barely think. Why had this happened, why now? Had he really....
"Michale..." the name sounded so sad coming from his lips. Quickl he walked over and before Michale could do anything he pushed up the sleeve of the jacket. Angel rarely did anything forcful, which would be the reason he didn't stop Angel in time. When the arm was revealed he saw what he had expected. Tears filled his eyes again, but this time he couldn't hold them back. He shook his head.
"No.." he cried "You...you told me" he pulled back from the arm like it was something poisonus
"You told me that you quit!" he said turning to look at Michale "You were clean! You stopped! Why?! WHY!?" he cried his overflowing eyes narrowed angrily demandeding an answer even though he was shattering piece by piece inside. Everything he knew, everything he had ever loved, was being undone....everything they had worked towards....it was going back to the beginning....soon would be....he would be without him...but he didn't want that! Why? why was he doing this to them?!
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Posted: Mon May 01, 2006 7:48 pm
Michale didn't have a chance to react, wasn't expecting Angel to be so abrupt, wasn't expecting him to actually see him like this. Or at least not yet. He looked at the tear-filled blue eyes, and felt something in his heart pinch.
Why? What was it he felt? Remorse? Guilt? No! He didn't! He couldn't...He sighed and closed his eyes for a moment, trying to gather his thoughts. Damn but his body was aching.
"Angel...I..." wait, he almost just apologized! He shook his head. Why did he have this effect on him? Yes...it had to be Angel. Damn those big blue eyes of his, all full of tears. Why did he care so much? He clenched his fists, and felt his muscles tense. Realizing what he was doing, he forced himself to relax. He couldn't damage Angel now. He needed him.
"Angel, when they took you away from me....I had to...I had to find something to make it stop hurting. I didn't...couldn't deal with losing you, Angel..."
Michale stepped foreward, and went to embrace Angel, reaching out to brush away the tears on his pretty face.
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Posted: Mon May 01, 2006 7:55 pm
Angel saw him in a flurry of emotions, and he almost heard him apologize but Michale stopped himself. Of course he was hurting....he wasn't there to keep him happy, to do what he needed...Michale couldn't deal with losing him....
Angel blinked and just as the tears fell Michale pushed them away. The older boy embraced him and Angel hugged him back.
"I'm sorry Michale...I'm so sorry...I didn't mean to get caught...I didn't mean to leave you all alone. Please...stop...stop doing it....I promise I wont leave you again...just please stop hurting yourself" he burried his face into Michale's stomach and hugged him with the ferocity of someone much larger
"I love you Michale"
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Posted: Mon May 01, 2006 10:58 pm
Michale sighed and tightened his grip on Angel's frail body. He kissed the top of the touseled blond head. It was an action he didn't think twice about, but had he done so, he'd realize it was an action that was more affectionate than he had been since he and Angel first met. After a moment, he released him and stepped back. He felt sick to his stomach. He tried to tell himself that it was only the withdrawal...Angel had nothing to do with it. It wasn't his guilt for what he had done. It wasn't the fact that Angel still loved him even after all this. Never once had Michale ever actually answered Angel. Never once had he ever said 'I love you too.'
"Angel...I think I need to get some fresh air..." he finally said. "Could you see if you could find someone to get me some cigarettes. Maybe those would help..."
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Posted: Mon May 01, 2006 11:01 pm
The boy in Michale's arms felt a smile come to his lips as he felt the slight pressure atop his head. He looked up at him with that small smile
"I really do love you" he said his eyes full of slight hope but with worry as well. He blinked and nodded quickly
"Anything to help" he said looking around the room
"Is there any preference? Or just.....any smoke?"
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Posted: Mon May 01, 2006 11:17 pm
Michale felt that strange pinch in his heart again as Angel looked up at him with that innocent, naive smile. He shook away another dizzy spell. It had already been over twenty-four hours since his last...and was likely to be a bit longer untill his next. He opened the door. He needed to get away from that loving smile, those trusting eyes. Everything that made him take the boy as his own now was driving him insane. And he needed to get away.
"N-no, anything is fine, A-Angel." he said, slipping through the door. "I'll be back in a bit..."
He didn't even close the door behind him. He was shaking violently as he made his way down the hall, and he hugged his arms to himself to try to stop the sickness in his gut. He made his way down the halls, bumping into the doorjam as he stepped out into the bright sunlight.
--->courtyard
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Posted: Mon May 01, 2006 11:19 pm
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Posted: Wed May 03, 2006 5:02 pm
--->from courtyard
Michale stumbled into his room, and closed the door behind him. He leaned against the frame, and took a long slow breath, trying to steady himself.
With unsteady steps, he made his way over to the bed, and sat down. Trembling fingers removed the package from his pocket and he was instantly glad that he had sat down, as he opened it. True to form, his shaking fingers couldn't keep a grip on the items as they tumbled to the bed. There was a small sealed packet of a white powder and a standard medical syringe.
Some minutes and few headaches later, a pile of spent matches and a metal spoon beside his kneeling form on the floor, Michale used the Midori tie as a tourniquet and tapped at the abused veins until one managed to come to the surface. He flicked the syringe, and ejected the air in the tube. He hands were shaking so badly...He hoped he could keep it steady long enough...
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Posted: Thu May 04, 2006 6:58 pm
His hands were too unsteady...he couldn't...His eyes closed for a second, and he took a deep breath. Had to do this quick...
Another deep breath, and...
He winced. It went on at a bad angle but it still hit the vein. It would just bruise....badly. And Michale didn't bruise easy.
He released the makeshift tourniquet and rubbed his thumb over the mark as the hand holding the syringe rested listlessly at his side. His head leaned back against the wall as he felt the tremors ease, and the sickness abated. A heavy sigh of relief escaped his lips.
As he felt the drug sweep through his system, he scooped the dead matches into a small trash bin in the corner and stashed the spoon and syringe in an empty drawer. After he was done, he flopped backwards on the bed. His eyes closed and his mind calmed. But it was short lived, as Angel's disappointed face came into his mind. His eyes snapped open and he growled. He pushed up the sleeve of his jacket, and looked at the bruising already starting to show vividly dark amongst the other track marks. Another growl and he pulled the sleeve down, and folded the arm behind his head.
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