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 Posted: Sat Apr 15, 2006 10:20 am
?Check out my roleplay!?
Well first off, this isn't going to have an elaborate set up, this is just going to be an interactive class where I, or other people help make anyone who wants to become a better roleplayer well better.
I see people who saw that to be literate you have to have good grammer, long post, stuff like that, really that stuff, it's a great Start , but really to roleplay you need to be able to cooperate the basics into a interface that allows people to WANT to read what you write.
You can't just jump from one personality to the next. I'll start with the ifrst lesson, and as people display they can do it I will move on....
?.Holocaust // Reborn.?
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Posted: Sat Apr 15, 2006 10:31 am
♥Check out my roleplay!♥
Lesson 1: Description
Basically we all have description in everything, but in order to make ourselves better we need to know what needed to be described, and what doesn't.
Bad Example The look in her eye's told him that she would not be coming home. "Please, don't go," he said as he walked towards her grabbing her. She slammed a pencil on the table. It shatted into a million pieces of wood, the splinters flew everywhere. He could see wrinkles of her dress, the wrinkles were folded into tight knots.
Good Example Piecing through his heart were her lovely golden eyes, words were not needed to explain that she would not come home. Agony in her face stretched, but anger consumed her eyes. "No, don't leave, I love you," he said belatedly. Words of love seemed too harsh, and if only he had said this moments before she would nto be so angry. As he grabbed her arm above the elbow she ripped a pencil from his pocket slamming it into the table. The shattering piece of the pencil seemed to represent their hearts, both breaking with ever lasting second.
Your Turn Now
Create both a good and bad example like the one above with different senario's. Do as many as you need to to feel comfortable. Comments for all post's are widely accepted.
♥.Holocaust // Reborn.♥
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Posted: Thu Apr 20, 2006 6:29 pm
Quote: Carmine gazed over his lover and almost cried to see him leave. He wanted to enfold Timothy sweet embrace and drag him back down to the passionate hell that the two both lived. The boy, yet gave a bat of the eye, with stifled breath and watched him step away. A lump in his throat grew and choked him. Quote: Carmine peered over Timothy, the spring in his step almost killing him with each beat against the ground. He could almost feel the silvery blonde hair between his fingertips and the pinkish lips caressing his pale virgin neck. Memories, sweet memories. How do we forget thee? All that was on the youth's mind was to catch Tim in his arms and drag him down into a sweaty hell where the devils could not chide an honest love like theirs, yet he was paralyzed by his own fear to actually made he first step. He could not talk. Hopelessness filled a heart that had made it's course to burn the rest of a willowy body. The evening visitor passed through the door, a burning ciggarette in his hand, taking a long filthy drag and was lost in spring's brightness. The other clutched his throat, mumbling something hoarse to try to get the other return, but it was no use. Nothing audible came from him and the moment was lost.
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Posted: Sun Apr 30, 2006 9:19 am
Bad Example "Lieutenant, get away from the circle!" Ariake screamed. The dark red Beast turned to face the Seer, suddenly being tackled. It was Takahashi, laughing as he pinned Triela to the score on the ground. Everyone else was too suprised to realize what had happened. Suddenly, the circle began to glow, and Takahashi jumped out of the area. Her body began to shake.
The Roleplayer used a lot of action to make it longer, even though at first it may appear lengthy. I used to do this when I was a newbie to Roleplaying, but it is better than using chatspeak and being completely unliterate.Good Example The five footed into the Palace, which walls were adorn with shimmering Rubies and Diamonds. On the left wall was a throne, the backrest also emblished with such emeralds, most likely Tykin's or the Queen's seat. Next to it, was a small table, partialy made of pearl, that's beauty only was outweighed by the throne beside it. Above, a silvery sky light was placed, the design a bit odd, but lovely to say the least. The walls like most other parts of the palace, were made of blocks of marble, and a few other metals hardly noticeable. Kasui wandered in, admiring the craftmanship of the room, and the others followed. Ariake looked about the room suspicously, such being her nature. A peplex score was written apon the ground, Ariake was the only one who noted it. She tilted her head left and then right again, caluclating in her mind what the score meant. This only took her a few momments, another few seconds to check." Oh no. " she maundered, looking around her franticly. "Lieutenant! Move away from it!" She barked in a high pitched tone. The Darkened Crimson reptile spun around to question the Seer. Immediatley, a figure tackled the Dragon, forcing her into the soul spilting score. Triela stuggled violently, as the others watched in horror. Takahashi tilted over her threating maw. " Welcome to Hell, -SPOILER-. " He laughed Manicaly, leaping from the circle gracefully. Triela's furious eyes widened in horror, as so did the others. " Don't go near it!" Ariake ordered, planting her corroded boots in the silvery marble, extending her arms to prevent anyone from steping forward. The Score began to shimmer, then suddenly it appeared to shake, along with Triela's body. .
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Posted: Mon May 15, 2006 8:20 am
[x] [Your Character]
Lesson Two
When you are being your character you have to become part of your character. You can't forget that you might fall into the habit of using all kinds of personality traits. You have a select few. Also, you want to be able to use a thought process to make it understood what the target is trying to plan, and what they don't understand.
Bad Example The Interior of the house seemed filled with thousands of dolls. Big, small, red, yellow. The list of varieties went on forever. Kelly's red hair seemd to blend in with the wall of red dolls.
Try to make it obvious as to the character approach.
Good Example The Interior of the house seemed filled with the dolls of colors. Kelly was suddenly stiff in an instant recognition of Felia's dolls. Her fear of them had persisted her since she first met the vicious vampire at the age of 10, when Felia had seemed so much like a girl, she was mean, and so much not a girl.
Kelly's hair blended in with a wall of red dolls behind her as the shadow of the child vampire continued down the hall, why had she entered Adriens Manor? This had been a stupid idea. "Oh, Kelly," Felia called. She knew that actually trying to enter this place had been the most painful thing she would experiance. What if she was Changed? What would her mother say.
Kelly blitzed down the hall in an attempt to flee from the persisting vampire who seemed to be about half her size, but so much more deadly. A human would never outmatch Felia, she was too strong. The fear came pounding her her heart, in her soul as she scrambled up the stairs into another vampires room, Mary Rachel's, and look what the problem with this is, Mary Rachel was there.
[x] [Your Turn Now]
Come up with a list of good and bad personality traits.
Create a good and Bad Example
Explain the problems in the Bad example
Explain the various parts of the good example that makes it better.
Continue trying to make the Good example better with atleast 3 drafts until you have managed your best draft.
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Posted: Tue May 16, 2006 7:48 pm
Bad Personality Traits:
-Cool
-Good
-Bad
-Dumb
Good Personality Traits:
-Compasionate
-Conceited
-Irriatable
-Helpful
-Joyful
-Thoughtful
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