I posted this on another website and it needs a beta reader. if either of you will help me that'd be nice. I wrote it when I was 10 so it definitly needs work. I didn't edit any of it either.
Hi, my name is Heather Nicole Mckenzie, but everyone calls me Nikki for some reason. I don't know why. Well anyway I have the most amazing story to tell you. At least it is in my opinion. You might think I'm crazy, but demons are real. Its unbelievable right? But its true.
I should start at the beginning though or at least tell you who I am. I'm thirteen and have long blonde hair and green eyes. I'm tall and pale. I like sports and don't really care what I look like or how I dress. I have two siblings. An older sister named Amy and a younger brother named James.
Amy is a girly girl. Those kind of girls that dress up a lot and go calling boys on the phone all the time and have a different boyfriend every week. The kind of girls I hate. My sister thinks I should be more like her, but it isn't gonna happen. Ever.
James is kinda cool. He small, pale, and has brown hair and eyes. He spends most of his time writing or drawing. He comes to all my practices, games, and swim meets. He helps me stay organized and is always there when I need him. He's even in my grade. He got raised up a few years ago.
So onto how it all started. I was having a really bad day. James didn't wake me up like he was supposed to so I was late getting to first period and the teacher had the nerve to give me a detention. Then I got back a test paper with a D on it and then during lunch Billy spilled his chocolate milk all over me so I had to go and change before math and I was late there as well. Of course thats not all. James forgot to give me my homework for that class. (He does my math homework for me sometimes) I asked to go get it, but the teacher wouldn't let me and instead gave me extra homework to make up for it.
So after a bad day I wanted to go home and get some sleap, but I couldn't because James reminded me that I had promised I'd go hiking with him. I really didn't want to go, but I had promised and he rarely asks for anything so I went with him.
James and I went into the woods near the park. There were three trails there. James wanted to go down the middle one like always and so we left. We'd been hiking for a while and I wanted to go back, but James insisted we go forward. He seemed strange to me. He had a weird look on his face. I didn't know why. He kept hiking. The more I insisted we go back the more he ignored me. It seemed like he was in some kind of trance.
It was way past dark when James said he wanted to go back and I was way scared by that time. I'm normally not scared, but being in the woods at night is creepy. We were about to turn back when a hand shot out and grabbed James. I sceamed and he let out a yelp.
"You can't go back,"A voice said,"I need you for something." The hand shoved James deeper into the woods.
"You can't do that to him."I shouted. The man hit James and he fell to the ground unconsious. He then stepped out and took a step nearer to me. I was thoroughly shocked. The guy was something like I'd seen off of a T.V. show once. They called him a kitsune spirit or something like that. It was a Japanese show I think.
He had long white hair with furred white ears sticking out at the top and he had clawed hands. I saw that he had a bushy white tail as well. His eyes were silver. Except for that he looked similar to a human.
I couldn't run and leave James behind and so I tried to attack him. It didn't work. He merely slapped me hard I fell and hit my head on something, after that everything was black.
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