Sometimes, Cuan regretted her general lack of a thick coat of fur. Tonight, as she perched in a dormant window box, the little lykoi heartily wished that her fur was thicker or that she’d allowed Esfir to buy a sweater for her. Well, coulda, shoulda, woulda. There wasn’t much she could do about it now and if she left to go find a scrap of blanket or the like, she’d miss the movie playing inside the house that the window box belonged to.

And she did so badly want to see this one. Most Christmas horror movies were of the slasher variety or involved roided up meathead wrestlers. So few seemed to actually focus on the old world stories. Though, she’d quite enjoyed Krampus when she’d managed to sneak a viewing of that little gem last year. But this movie was Finnish and lacked many of the big, slick effects found in Hollywood. There was a charm to it. A funny sort of soul.

Settling deeper into her temporary shelter, the cat watched the movie and perked her ears forward, grateful that the homeowners were making use of the english subtitle option as she didn’t understand a spot of Finnish. Not that she could have heard anything through the thick windows, but still. Purring and turning into a loaf, the lykoi chuckled to herself as the movie progressed. The only frightening thing about this was the sheer amount of naked old men wobbling across the screen. Based on that alone, she made a note to not allow Esfir to see it until she was much older. If at all. She knew Esfir didn’t like too much blood and she was a bit overly sympathetic when it came to animal deaths. No, Esfir probably would not enjoy this one. But children grew and changed. Cuan sighed, realizing that she’d just rolled the universal dice and Esfir was probably going to grow up into some sort of weird degenerate now.

Turning her attention back to the movie, she tilted her head as the heroes went into Bunker 24. And very nearly screeched out, “Oh come on!” at the reveal of the monstrously big, behorned ice block. Santa didn’t have horns like that, nor was he a giant. Krampus wasn’t even a giant like that! Making a mental note to look into Finnish beliefs when it came to Christmas, she settled down and watched the rest. The reveal had spoiled her fun to a degree. But she found herself re-engaging as the young hero lured the naked old men into the reindeer pen just as the other heroes exploded ‘Santa’.

The last few minutes of the film made her giggle as the old men were rehabilitated and trained as mall Santas before being shipped out in massive crates. It was ridiculous! But using her metrics, still kind of fun.

Standing up and stretching, Cuan carefully shook herself to be rid of any loose dirt. Now that she’d seen Rare Exports, she was content. Though, she had to wonder if the Finnish people were doing okay if that was the sort of thing that they’re minds came up with.

Word Count = 525