He was restless.

Which wasn’t anything strange in itself. If Gideon kept a stagnant routine too long, a certain antsiness was bound to sneak up and bite him. It was that time of the month, he supposed.

Things had been going- well, that was it. They’d been ‘going’ and not much else. His day job was hardly exciting or strenuous, but it was its own sort of mentally taxing, mostly dealing with grumpy strangers and tired city employees. It wasn’t difficult, but did require a certain degree of focus. Nothing worth wasting the breath to complain about, and whenever asked about his day, he’d reply with a shrug and a ‘fine.’ Literally nothing to report.

If he wanted adrenaline, his night job should theoretically be more accommodating. Sometimes it was. If Feldspar was so bold as to get involved in something with Diesel, the bare minimum he could expect was excitement. Diesel was wildfire, and Feldspar did not want to temper him. But if he was alone? Feldspar knew better than to start something he couldn’t finish with his own power. He tried not to do much that anyone would take a very strong issue with, and he had the wherewithal to insist he wanted out of this kind of life if he came across someone more interested in him than he wanted them to be. And that was only if something ‘exciting’ occurred. In reality, most nights had about as much of note as his days.

Interesting? Yes, of course. The weird alien war was very interesting. But he was adapting to the unusual bits of it, and things were… stagnating. There was nothing to do about such stagnation, and his better judgment reminded him that Feldspar didn’t want anything to be done about it. He should be happy to be stable, with a good job, good friends, good relationship- he didn’t want for anything.

But he was restless. Things were too fine.

Feldspar was in the Dark Kingdom, exiting the computer lab. He hadn’t lingered as long as he’d hoped; there were surely reports he could make, but it just was not working out like that. He thought it’d be easier to not be at home- though he never would’ve said those words out loud. Trying to explain the weird ‘don’t want to hang out, but don’t want to be alone, but don’t want to be with people’ mood to Ellian had historically not gone over well because Ellian didn’t get it. And that was fine, not his fault, but Gideon just didn’t really know how to articulate his needs in a way that his boyfriend would understand and respect. It might help if he knew exactly what he wanted… but he didn’t. He flit from incomplete task to incomplete task, hoping for something inexplicable.

He walked the halls. As far as he understood it, most of these rooms were hardly anything of note. Storage, empty spaces, offices, nothing worth even poking his head in-

Which was a real shame because surely the interdimensional gothic castle surrounded by monsters and inhabited by the equivalent of an evil goddess should have something less mundane than offices going for it. He snorted, scuffed his boot against the floor. It probably did have more, just nothing he’d be permitted to be privy to. That was fine, that was fine- One day. Maybe. There was no need to rush.

No need to rush, no need to rush… So if this jittery anticipation due to nothing would just subside, that’d be GREAT.

His feet carried him in the direction of the most familiar path- granted, none of anything in the Dark Kingdom was comfortably familiar, but he knew a couple paths, knew his resources, general locations he might search for people he was interested in. Did he want any of that…? Couldn’t tell. He still couldn’t tell. ********. Rakovanite’s office was unlocked. Maybe weird, maybe not. Feldspar doubted he kept much in here that anyone would be able to rifle through, nothing worth guarding behind a lock when anyone with magic powers could break in with ease if they felt like it.

Even if there was something worth seeing, Feldspar wasn’t looking. He didn’t know what he wanted or if this was even where he wanted to be; it was just where he was, and that weird frustration dragged at him like a weight.

He dropped onto the couch in Rakovanite’s office, one arm dangling over the edge and forehead pressed into the armrest. He should know how to deal with this. It had only been cropping up for, what? Like fifteen years? Too long to still not know what to do with himself in this situation. But the feeling came and went so quickly… he didn’t have to do anything himself because it would progress without his initiative.

A slow breath in. A slow breath ******** pitiful.

What was he doing.

And why.

Why was he offended that no one was here with him when he’d gone out of his way to leave Ellian at home and to not be in a location that he frequented. He’d even picked the deeply dreary Negaverse Castle as the backdrop for these stupid emotions, so was he just an idiot or what?

An idiot that needed to do something, but didn’t have the energy reserves to accomplish anything, didn’t trust anyone to be here with him, but didn’t want to be alone. He didn’t know what he wanted. Why was everything so complicated? What was he supposed to do?

At the edge of his senses, the prickle of something other entered his awareness. Was that just another needle of jittery, or something actually real- Yes, real, Feldspar decided in the next moment. The movement of auras nearby: one not so different than his own, and the other a little more overbearing. Ahh… and close enough that he expected the destination was not far off from where he was.

[Exiting to next rp!]
[WC: 994]