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The mirrorwalk had been quick and quiet, with the other holding his hand tightly so as not to lose him in transit. Maybe it was more than that, he still felt shaken by things and unsure even if they’d reassured him. Stepping out of the mirror and into their embrace, he nodded but realized they didn’t quite want to let him go either in order for him to get what they wanted.

It wasn’t going to be easy because he didn’t want the thought rumbling in the back of his mind to hurt them. They didn’t really deserve it, the doubt that they were just a replacement for the others before them. It was hard, even as they kissed him and wanted to work through things because he felt at odds between how they were and what his doppelganger had said.

“Okay…” Speaking softly, he nodded again and gathered things from the bedroom. He took his contacts out and put them away in favor of his glasses so he wouldn’t fall asleep with them in. Looking at the bed, where everything was neat and tidy, he listened for anything out of the ordinary but only really heard the sound of Desiree snoring beneath the bed.

With a pile of blankets and a few of the bigger pillows, he carefully made his way downstairs with the help of the railing. His thoughts kept wandering back to that voice, the one that mirrored his own but without the same proper form and word choice he normally used. It made it more unsettling that way and as he reached the living room, he set the blanket and pillows down on the floor on the other side of the coffee table.

Thinking about it because he hadn’t actually done so yet, he went about unbuttoning his coat and taking his shoes off. For now he just left them beside one of the couches, not wanting to move too far. Still he had his vest and button up on but that never bothered him really. He might get warm in time but it wasn’t as if they couldn’t come off later on.

Hearing Liam call out from the kitchen, he turned and saw them smiling. Offering a slight smile and nod in response he figured he might as well lose some layers if the fireplace was going to be lit. Moving slowly, he worked through each button of his vest and folded it before setting it on the couch.

His button-up met the same fate and by the time he was working on his belt and pants, Liam had called out again. “I can try.” Even if he didn’t really want to bring things up he knew they wouldn’t let it fester and bother him. Just like his smoking habit, they didn’t really let him lean back into that set of unhealthy ways to manage things. Pulling things out and trying to get him to talk one topic at a time much as things had progressed in other matters.

Sitting on the floor in his socks, glasses, and boxers, he pulled the blanket around himself. Even if they were used to seeing him without clothes, he still didn’t like looking at his own scars. He thought over the call, playing it over in his mind as he sat there quietly. Fiddling with his ring beneath the blanket, fingers feeling the edges of the diamond where it met the rest of the band. Something solid that they’d had made for him with his responsibilities kept in mind when considering the form of it. It was thoughtful, not something someone who was only in things for the money might have thought of. It wasn’t empty like the flowers he’d gotten from people who came to his recitals and tried to become a sponsor when he had been younger, before he’d inherited things.

Reaching a hand out to grab the cup and saucer after he filled it with tea. It looked like they’d already set cubes of sugar in the cup for him which he appreciated. The thought of food really didn’t sound appetizing yet to him, not with how he felt.

“Maybe later on, not right now unless you feel like something?” He could agree at least with not wanting to cook tonight because he personally didn’t feel like much of anything right now other than sitting here. Looking up from his cup at the other as they smiled at him, he tried to smile back but he still didn’t feel certain of it.

“I had assumed it was one of those scam calls, given it was from an unknown number but when the voice that crackled over the line was a variation of my own…” Shaking his head, he looked down at his cup again. “The things it said were far from deceitful at least when it reaches the core issue.” But that wasn’t something he wanted to bring up exactly just yet because he wasn’t sure how they might take things and he was used to things blowing up in his face.

Watching as the fire caught and started to crackle, most of him knew they weren’t going to just run at this point but it was hard to let go of that nagging little bit of doubt. “Did it bother you that I had been… entangled… with others before you?” Thinking on it they’d never said anything and he really hadn’t brought it up directly. It also was a way he could maybe loop the conversation around while he tried to think of how to talk about things.

“I just wondered, given you never said anything. I never dated though, not that that person would probably have considered it an option.” Looking down again, he swirled his cup slightly to disperse the sugar a bit more before taking a sip.

“You say you wanted to keep people from knowing that yet you told me you were one that first night, I believe I remember you saying you were unwanted then too.” It had honestly made things a bit easier for him to ask for help because it was less likely they’d talk about his issues with others.

“And the fact I was well off never factored into things?” Looking over at them as he spoke, watching for how they reacted even as they looked unbothered as they sat there.

It sounded admirable and he had seen them working hard even back then when they sat at the table in the kitchen and working on homework from time to time. Not that any of their work made sense to him back then, or even now, he could tell they were a hard worker. And the way they spoke, it didn’t sound like a lie.

“I had seen chaperones for younger children before and the paperwork for things was always filed to the head of the department even if I ran the actual after-school program. I saw all sorts of situations, divorced parents or sometimes older siblings so I had just assumed it may have been a program similar to a big brother situation.” They hadn’t held themself in a way that said otherwise from what he’d remembered but that meeting had been almost seven years ago hadn’t it?

“College was my first experience with the public school system so I may have been a bit clueless on that as well.” It hadn’t been the easiest adjustment but he’d been able to live in his own place which didn’t help with fitting in with the general public. He’d been used to people coming up to him because he’d had money and had a family name to back things. His skills seemed to come second in most instances outside of classes.

Letting them pull him close, he leaned on them slightly while taking another sip of his tea. They were so warm, something he always liked about them even if they’d changed since they’d first found him. Letting a bit of the blanket slide down so they could pull one of the sides over their shoulder, he looked down at his cup again.

“What is it about me that led to more? I really was in a bad state back then and even now… well some things have faded but I doubt everything will.” He’d never really be free of the burns or the scars, not completely given his complexion. He didn’t tan like the other, if anything he burned nearly instantly when in the sun for too long.

“For me… I think it was because you stayed.” He hadn’t had someone that stuck around through things before. One way or another, the ones who had offered help had vanished or perished and it had left him stuck and cautious of reaching out for help. Even now he didn’t want to say something that might have them change their mind and he hated that it was nagging at him when they hadn’t shown any signs of leaving at his lowest. Maybe he’d gotten comfortable with them close and it made him as anxious about things as it made him happy. That core issue of being afraid of being happy, of how he always ended up being alone as time went on. His face fell a bit and he leaned his head on their shoulder, pressing his face into their warm skin.

He’d also been too sick to really say anything back then but it was true he never really looked down on them since they’d started to help him. It had been nice, even when they’d just laid on the floor next to the couch as he slept just in case he needed help or something happened in the night. They really were too kind, back then and even now.

“Would it have worked if I might not have needed help? Or if I get to a point when I am okay enough not to need help?” The question came out a bit shakily as he asked it, it wasn’t easy to bring that line of thought up but he was trying to lead them to the issue. Not that he was sure it would ever get to that point, not as long as the fighting continued and he kept looking into things for the Negaverse. The idea that things would end seemed like a fantasy to him at this point because after eleven years nothing had really changed in his opinion. As another sovereign came to be, it seemed as if another princess came to oppose and keep things in a frustrating balance.

Stability though… it went both ways if he really thought about it. They had a place where they could stay that was maybe a bit better than where they had been and he had someone to make sure he wasn’t wasting away or falling back into things. Even after things changed and they’d moved out from the city’s center the day-in and day-out routine was easier on him with them there.

“Maybe… maybe not given that your major was one that had courses in another part of the campus. You may not have gone to recitals which left meeting while on patrols perhaps.” But it would have been on very different terms and he’d have been more inclined to keep things at arm’s length.

Setting his own cup and saucer down on the tray, he let them pull him down and he curled up slightly while facing them. “I suppose that could be right but I never really had an example of a functioning relationship to see how things go.” His parents' marriage had ended explosively after he’d inherited things though now he knew it was less his fault and more that his father hadn’t been someone who could manage things being taken from them that had been expected.

Shifting slightly, he took his glasses off and reached behind himself to set them on the tray as well so they wouldn’t get broken. “Are you sure?” Looking at them as he moved in closer a bit at a time. “You are alright with how things are?” With how he needed that reassurance or attention all the time, always talking with them before things happened even if he wanted them to stay home and safe. It was a bit frustrating when they followed him on missions but both times it had worked out better with them there. Both times they’d done a lot to make sure he was okay which was more than he was used to and still he wasn’t used to it after almost two years.

Sliding his arms under theirs, he held onto them as he bit his lip and watched them. It was nice beneath the blanket and by the fire, it was also nice that their shirt was off because he got to feel how warm they were as he rested his head on them. “I worry that something would happen, that things might change, and you would leave or…” Well he couldn’t bring himself to say it but he brushed his fingers over where their arm had been broken. Something that could have ended much worse if he had been any slower.