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He'd been ******** elated at the suggestion of going out! Finally, something normal, non-work, un-murdery, stress-free! That he got to take some joy in needling Aelius into clothes that wouldn't have him dropping dead in the too hot-humid streets? A whole-a** bonus! He thought Aelius was looking better lately, couldn't put his finger on what'd shifted between them, within himself, in the person he thought he could call 'friend' without getting shanked with a body pillow and sent to the cat-couch for punishment. It was an easement of, ********, something? A nameless something that let him whistle at Aelius for wearing a flashy yellow that complimented his hair just right; so even when it eventually went up into a sweaty mess of bun Waru found himself thinking that it looked stylish on the man -- and chide him over dressing for the climate -- only to dress himself to match in an analogous set t-shirt, shredded jeans, and sneakers he'd dredged outta the depths of some bag he'd stored in Aelius's closet long ago....

Because Trey'd had his colors done the one time, the stylist mentioned something about warm n clear, springs n autumns....

And Waru hadn't paid a singular inch of attention to any of it, if the creamsicle orange clashed with the lime greens and the vine ripe tomato reds of the worlds most faded logos? Who was he to really care. He was a care-free kinda guy! A careless kinda guy-- and so it meant that he also didn't care to scour the shallow depths of his mind to scrounge up an answer to the question of 'Why is Aelius in such a good mood?'

To care even less about what they ate next or listened to after that! He'd never been picky, claimed always to be part garbage disposal, and part earworm (or maybe he was just partly deaf by now? But!). Consumption was consumption, and he lived by the motto that even straight up ******** *noise* could have a rhythm to it, could get a person moving with enough base n good vibes. That was the beauty of music, it didn't ever have to be *good* by any sort of technicality, so long as it moved a person. Of course that wasn't the first thing out of his mouth before he'd even heard Aelius finish his sentence---

"Papayas," and he didn't know why he'd said it so quickly, like a word association game; you say 'food' I say 'papayas'. Only that the smell of spices hot enough to leave a man sweating out the chills till tomorrow sparked a memory. Had him craving puff-puff with pankett ak sauce, and glancing into the throngs of casually milling crowds as if he'd see a familiar group of faces amongst them---

Smiling eyes and sun-leathered skin and skirts long enough to hide behind, chubby cheeks and grasping hands, girlish little squeals of joy. Pitch-black eyes etched with khoal; the kind of shadows beneath them that were deep enough to swallow the universe and still yawn hungrily for more. Till those same eyes were filled with the embers of a grand massacre, and the universe burned to fuel the attached body, and---

Waru blinked, wondering it was the heat of the day getting to him; still cooking off the concrete and evaporating like watery-ribbons into the evening-encroached heavens that made him miss those unnameable things even more.

His home thousands upon thousands of miles away from here, and his family (his first one), and ******** Fa----

The rings around his fingers gnawed at him, left imaginary to all save him wounds that would never be given enough peace to close. Open, always, for how ******** often he worried at their edges, for how he couldn't let them be. Healing would mean forgetting, accepting, and a whole heap of bullshit that he wasn't ready to commit himself to just yet. He wanted the gaping, maw-full ache, the pain of missing people who didn't need missing at all. Who didn't want him missing them, most likely. His people. Alive and well and only at a distance. Only far enough away that he couldn't physically see them at the moment---

But not truly gone. That was enough for him though, wasn't it? Waru realized it was, that somewhere along the way he'd decided that a week, a month, three months gone by and it felt like dying in tiny pieces, all the time. That the sort of years that'd once been bearable were bearable no longer. He wondered if he was the hypocrite he'd always denied ever trying to be? He'd teased his boy once, about being the loneliest person in the ******** room, even surrounded by thousands of throngs of others all singing his praises, and now? Now he wondered if he'd simply been projecting all this time.

Anything was possible---

Like saying more than a single word, or answering the rest of Aelius's question, or -- Hell -- finding the strength to drag his eyes away from over the other man's shoulder, and away from his slender, sweat slicked throat. To focus. Because Aelius looked good, dressed down, roughed up by the weather, shining with sweat and that was all the reason Waru'd ever needed to look at anyone. ********, it was more of a reason than he needed on most days! But if he were asked right now about *why* he was staring down Aelius's throat like the other man had something to hide there? Like he was a wannabe vampire in training? 'Because you have a great chest' would've come out his mouth a weak, shriveled lie of a line.....

It was the rings, and the pendant, and---

"And late night street-bands are always the best during the festival, those ******** get paid in cold beer, cheap eats, and crowd tips. So y'know they play their hearts out...I mean, m'sure the city actually does pay whoever it is they send out here for the casuals, but..." the shrug he gave Aelius was a slight, ripple of motion, a barely contained wince as he went from zero to sixty and realized it about thirty seconds too late. "Yanno what I mean, yeah? Y'must..N'msure you wanna eat more n'just papayas? Like..actual food..." and Waru finally did manage to meet Aelius gaze, to pull his mind away from where it'd been and back to the subject at hand. It felt like it'd been so long since he'd been out n about proper, social butterflying around, meeting the people who made the types of foods he liked most on days like this; the wheels behind his eyes visibly turning as he sought out one flavor he could claim to crave above all the rest.

It'd take some thinking...

It was somewhat of a relief to mentally stand back and let Aelius have the stage n mic this one time. To admire beneath a thickly lidded gaze the boy who at one point had been so withdrawn, and quiet, and ******** adverse to his very presence for who ******** knew how long! To watch as Aelius just---

Bloomed.

It was everything Waru had ever wanted for the other man, those confident little smiles, the easy conversational tone. He breathed easier with it, in fact. The knowledge that his rambling hadn't ruined things, hadn't shut the whole shebang down after he'd been so godamned gung-ho about getting them both out and into the summer air!! This -- this was good, right? It was great, even! He was back, and here, and present as he mentally could be. He was trying, his smile soft, gaze full of endearment for the man that dragged him around and tried to desperately find something other than papaya to hook his attention on! Waru could've laughed, knowing that Aelius hadn't a damn clue why he wanted something so simple as to be sold at most local grocery stores, kept his chuckle soft and to himself. A private little prize of sumer-time happiness he could drawn on when things got rough as they inevitably did. He'd pocket this moment, this memory, stash it away in his core for a rainy day. For one where he n Aelius didn't see eye to eye--

"S'ah deal then, food first, n then--" He agreed, falling in step at Aelius's heels, nodding encouragingly towards the billowing banner blown about by a sudden gust of hot summer breeze. "Well holy s**t, would you lookit that? You think they'll add alcohol to it if we ask nicely enough? C'mon Mr. photo-star -- flex something for the tender old ladies n fresh faced girlies!! Oh, oh, drop Trey's name. He'd ******** hateeee thattt--" Sharp grinned and giggling as he nudged Aelius's shoulder with his own, indicating how down he was for the plan with a secondary, gentler than before shove.

"If you're gonna make me get noodles with this tho? I want 'em to be sour-sop! Cold ramen or bust-- v'yever had iced buckwheat noodles in broth, Aelius? Shits delicious on a day like this!" the stall really was lovely, stood out amongst the rest. Waru wondered briefly how exactly they were keeping the fruits so fresh in all this inclimate weather.

‘I’m already lucky—‘ and Waru realized there was maybe no reason to stand and stew in his own half-boiled thoughts. He was already doubly blessed, no - triply so! He had all his pieces and all his people and everyone he cared for the most was alive and well—

Happy, he hoped, even if they were being happy where he couldn’t see him.

He couldn’t have found a complaint if he tried, not here, at a festival. Having fun, happy and carefree! And ********, if he told himself that enough times? Told himself that until it stuck—- because there was a science behind smiling until the feeling became real enough, s**t that he believed in. There was Aelius, whose good time he wasn’t about to ruin with the clingy bits of melancholy that sat stuck like gum on the sole of his mind. He could go home and mope about all the other people he missed and the oroborus of why later. Right now? Right now he was watching with rapt attention all the ways Aelius was trying so ******** hard.

It was beautiful—

The poor guy pulling out every stop, opening every figurative door, and all for him. He wasn’t sure what he’d done to earn it, this good grace and reprieve — told himself he wasn’t about to squander it. The one good night outta a thousand sour ones.

“Heh, most’ve ‘em aren’t dry if you know the right a-frame n tarp to look under,” husky tease as hovered close to the buzzing energy of Aelius on the hunt for the best options and the shortest lines. Snorting at the idea of—”n’we’er sooo not getting groceries after. I ain’t that picky. Though—” it wasn’t a bad idea, he added with a humm, knew that fate would toss them whichever way it chose, same as how the motion of the crowd around them ebbed n flowed and the lines to different stands emptied and filled at the whim of overheated patrons looking for tasty treats.

“You’ll love ‘em Aelius, cross my eternal heart,” dismissing with a warm look the idea of changing horses mid-stream, sweet as he found Aelius offer? The noodles alone sounded nice; hot, cold, with the spice level turned up to a pitch that would make his eyes sweat. All the ways he had fond familiarity of different summer days spent a world away, where the best way to beat the heat was fufu served with spicy soups, dipped in pepper sauce. “There's all sorts’a cold noodles with just, ugh, the dipping sauces on those things? N’ ********, whats it called…Mak-gukusu? You can get it spicy, creamy–” trailing off and following the man through the break in the masses, like he was held up on a short lead and all the happier for it. To have Aelius in charge and on point out here.

“It’s almost overwhelming huh? That one little city can have s**t so sprawling right at the heart’uv it. You could just— walk in n get swallowed by ten whole parties n not even know it–” his muse light, giggling over the top of Aelius’s head for the papaya comment, thinking of how he’d find a way to make them for the man, one nice, ripe, sweet. His new line of musings yanked short as he ran his eyes over a pretty picture.

“That’s absolutely it! Good eye–” and he was only a little caught off guard that Aelius actually wanted to try – “Oh, y’sure you wanna?” his whole being brightening as he tried to imagine what would go best with the takoyaki balls. “Hell yes, then— the cold soba salad in spicy peanut sauce, please.” dialing up the charm, not even hesitating as he slung an arm casually over Aelius, dragging him into an almost brotherly side hug appreciation. Like having the man go along with him on this was the best thing since Christmas!

"N'whatever you don't love? I'll happpily finish-- with starfruit slushes as the desert chaser." he was thinking, judging by the machines they had going, at this closer distance, that they probably did have varieties of starfruit -- not only as the fruit -- but as beverages for alllll ages n patron types. He figured that must've been why it was so busy looking from here. "Bet the line for 'em'll calm down by time they get our orders ready..."

And if he noticed he hadn't let go of Aelius as he scanned above n around the worming crowd patches for the best place to eat. Tables with overhanging shaders n misters, patches of trod grass beneath thick trees that caught the breeze n everything in it.

'Whaaa---' Waru shrugged off entirely Aelius's sudden flight from his side in search of a place for them to eat together. The blip of strangeness on his radar, there and gone so quickly that he thought Aelius's genuine effort n enthusiasm to snag them a nice spot before the park filled up was little more n that.

A sweet action, done by a sweet man. Another batting-a-thousand friendly gesture! So unexpectedly heartwarming as the rest of the yawning day n slowly stretching evening had been. It kept him anchored, to the here and now, to the 'this moment and this moment only', as he turned the spark of surprise into charmed endearment on the ladies working behind the counter.

"He's not always like that, yanno? A minute man, here n gone, I promise. He just gets real shy when there's a bunch of gorgeous gals around---" because if he was gonna wait then he was gonna run his mouth, bat his lashes, make slow conversation as fragrant steam rose in the background and broths sizzled. "Can't really blame him. I'd be nervous too if I looked like that---especially gett'n eyed up by lovelies such as yourselves?"

If it was worth a laugh, if they traded jabs quietly over between rusty, giddy caws of laughter while experienced n wrinkled granny hands portioned perfectly made soups, sides, and a little something extra for the fun of it? Waru thought it was maybe worth it to linger, to be exactly that way---

It made him extra appreciative of Aelius's help as he unloaded some of the foodsum-burden into the other mans arms.

"Don't be? Seriously, I bet you money people'll be fighting for shade like this soon enough. N maybe it'll serve as a good spot to watch a show from? Yanno, they do the lantern thing every year, release 'em into the sky n all that. Like, t'music, n fireworks, n the whole shebang... " with far less grace he folded himself across from Aelius and began unpacking properly. Little plastic-silverware, wooden chopsticks, and most importantly enough?

"It really does smell good, doesn't it? Oh, check it!! All the waiting panned out-- the little old ladies have the hookup with the star-fruit vendor---" and it wasn't the drinks he'd been looking for, not exactly, that would take time and another line and honestly? He could do that later, in the moment though, right then? Getting his hands on some of the soft fleshed, yellow-green-mangosteene colored fruits was good enough. To have a few fresh ones to get a taste of, just for the sake of seeing whether he'd want them slurried, boozed and iced, or not!

"They'll make a good pre-desert snack, yeah? M'not even sure what color they should be inside. So it'll be a nice surprise for both of us to find out what these things really taste like. M'hopin--secretly--papayas..." he was stuck on the idea, the flavor, but brushed that focus off long enough to get comfortable alongside Aelius and start working out his attack plan. "The squid-balls...it's squid right? Whatever they are, those things look delicious. Specially once they started putting the sauces on 'em." Idle chatter and warm contentment while he pried the lid off his noodles and eyed them with a soft awwwh of impressed proportions.

Aelius had missed out on so much of everything, and it was almost painful to realize how that would never stop surprising him if kept allowing it to. That his shock and awe of how removed from life the other man had been would’ve gone on for days, weeks, years. He would’ve been left strutting around town with his jaw dropped to the floor, just an open scream worthy of being painted and slapped up in a museum somewhere.

What a wonderful weapon, what a caricature of a human being. A mockery of life half lived; made, edited, produced by Schorl herself. By the Negaverse —- by ********, Aelius himself, in all likelyhood? Waru didn’t want to focus on that, for his mood to shift n sour enough that his sorrow for Aelius’s missed opportunities would show.

No, he shrugged that s**t off and moved right on through it like a bulldozer over burnt down housing complexes. <********, we’ll see ‘em tonight, yeah? The damn things seem to release at the same time every year for the last few, at least? If we hang around long enough—” he hummed thoughtfully, considered offering to take Aelius to release a few personally, together even. Thought better of it, not with his stomach nudging him to consume a calorie and a thousand other ideas tugging on his interest at the exact same time. Nah, this was better yet, to have no pressure n an easy outing.

"Oh, the noodles? Definitely can be spicy if you want ‘em t’be, here--" and he took a moment to unpack the extra bits that’d come with. Chopped spring onions, a bevy of sauces, sliced jalapenos, birds-eyechilis, tiny little ounce cups with lids all their own. Each containing an assortment of soup-worthy additives, from heat, to crunch, to daikon looking slices. “clear broths almost a miso kinda base? I mean -- it's lighter than that -- brighter too. If you want it spicy you can add any of these to it. Redder it is the hotter it is obviously, pretty sure the black sludge is a garlicy kinda paste? Something vegi’ish n fermented? Goes good on it, honestly.”

He shrugged as though all the best answers were found in taking the journey, taking a moment to dress his own dish up to his liking, absolutely adding a healthy drizzle of the redder sauce.

But before he decided to dig in---

"Now, Octo-ball me --- cause if it's as good as you *promise* it's gonna be? Like, you can't just guess at a texture with words n' hope I'll be able to read your tongues mind -- food -- mouth -- ahhhwnn--" and as much as he was playing, joking, grinning throughout? He was also clearly serious, mouth open, waiting expectantly to be hand-fed by Aelius himself. Under the pretense that it would've been rude to steal a bite off the other boys plate, or whatever other comforting lie it'd take to get the task done. To convince Aelius to lean into things n do it.

Go to a festival! Eat weird soup! Feed him an Octoball!

What…….

“Wrmph—“ and he nearly choked on the delicious mouthful so gently placed; a little mushy (exactly as Aelius had said), slightly chewy. The fine drizzles of light sauces soaked the pancake-like texture perfectly. Left him inhaling steam and choking on the exhale as he bit through the morsel in a stunned haste.

What the ******** did I do!?

He caught the look, couldn’t have missed it blind and dying, the ache in those golden eyes, the deliberate turning away. Except he didn’t know what he’d done — months in each other's back pockets. Within shitting distance, and for all the closeness he thought he’d won? Still, it could be like this. It shouldn’t have ******** surprised him, and yet? There he sat, wincing back the prickle of ‘oh s**t this food is very hot’ tears while trying to get his bearings all over again.

He’d never missed Eion more — his boy’s deliberateness — the way it would’ve been a stab followed by blunt words — instead of gentleness followed by a beg for a reprieve. The miscommunication would’ve been short lived, he would’ve known where he stood and how to get back on solid ground. There would’ve been road maps — self made — old and worn with use.

But this?! All of a sudden it felt like new and unfamiliar territory. Like he’d tripped some line he’d been so utterly unaware of—

“M’sorry—“ muffled behind a hand so he wasn’t actively talking with his mouth full, so he could chew and swallow and think. Only to frown the second his thoughts caught up to him, because he didn’t know why he was apologizing!

“No, wait a second—-Aelius!” Deliberate with how he snagged his own chopsticks up and reached out to poke at the man’s shoulder with them rudely. “********, explain? Kay. Gimme context at least or—what’d I do wrong, yah? What’d I do different? Help me help myself cause like….if I’m gonna say sorry in a way where I mean it then it’d help if I knew how I ******** up just now?”

The noodles were cold, he didn’t worry about them growing colder, only the wash of hurt on Aelius’s face and how the ******** he would manage to quell that in the future. Because he wanted tonight — needed it — some small good thing, a distraction worth chasing.

His thoughts attuned to some old nursery rhyme rhythm as they bounced through his head —

And the big lid goes on - the big bowl! And the little lids go on — these side bowls! And the starfruit goes onnn — top of those! And the chopsticks go in the *dirt!*

Where Waru subsequently stabbed the wooden utensils with force, burying the tips of them in the grass and earth (Mmhm, minerals) alongside the carefully reassembled pile of food goods he’d begun to build while Aelius dodged him poorly. Muttering words, giving him the brush off, offering apologies of his own for no ******** reason Waru could begin to discern, and still? The most irrationally galling part of all! When Aelius finally looked at him, like he’d been the one to kick the golden-eyed man down a flight of stairs, only for Aelius to decide it’d be better to apologize for it than t’talk it out.

Waru wasn’t having it; not now, not tonight. Not for another second.

“When ever did I teach you that there was s**t y’couldn’t talk t’me about—” he made a show of stretching himself out, rolling his shoulders, getting up onto his knees and into a pouncing position like a poised tiger. For all that his tone suggested otherwise, he looked happy, hungry, ready ******** go! A playful little glint smothering the confusion off his features as he seemed to size Aeilus up, where the man still sat far too far across from him for his own damn liking now.

“S’fine though, if you can’t say ‘it’ properly? Whatever the ******** ‘it’ is? If it’s too much. Then I’ll just wrestle it out of you. Bet you’re more ticklish n somebody else I know—” he wiggled his fingers, started a loud and slower than molasses countdown all for Aelius benefit.