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 Posted: Sun Dec 10, 2023 7:19 pm
It was strange, to know that when he got home that there would be no Harrison. She wasn’t even his dog! But there was always some comfort in knowing that she was there. Especially because that meant that Casey wasn’t alone.
Ariel had gone to work a bit after Casey had, but he’d been in regular contact with him–and Morgan, through their group chat. He and Casey had worked through the night, and he assumed Morgan had gone to bed at about midnight because that’s when the pictures of Harrison stopped. There had been easily a dozen in their group chat, and maybe Casey had gotten more, but it had been a nice reprieve from an otherwise unpleasant night. He’d scrutinized every photograph Morgan sent and he wasn’t sure why. Maybe just to make sure that there weren’t any signs of trouble in the background.
A picture of Harrison playing fetch with a stick at the park. A picture of her sniffing the path enthusiastically; her tail was blurred in the picture. A picture of her asleep in the little fenced area. Eating dinner. Sitting in the passenger’s seat of Morgan’s–Jeep? He looked like he had a Jeep. A little older but in good condition. No trash in the car, not dusty. Oh, Harrison had left fur all over the front seat. She looked happy, though.
A picture of her on a leash, body half disappeared in a bush as she was being led inside. Morgan lived in a historic building, Ariel recognized the apartment complex. Well, sort of. He could tell by the old bricks, and compared the steps and lettering on the side of it and did a search online until it popped up so he could be sure. Maybe it was a little too detective-y, but what else was he supposed to do on his break?
Morgan’s house was clean. Only one pair of shoes by the door and they looked like work boots. He had a sort of rustic style, but it looked cozy. He didn’t see any personal photos and–was that a landline? Maybe it was decorative.
A picture of Harrison with a blanket like a shawl over her head. Another picture of her exploring. She was on her back under a glass coffee table with her paws pressed against it so you could see a perfect view of it. Back on the couch, this time with her paw in Morgan’s hand. Tucked into bed, lying on his pillows with his blanket thrown over her. She was cuddling her toy. The photos stopped then for the night, but Morgan’s last message had said ‘Tucked in and ready for bed’.
At six, a picture of her with her feet in the air and the blanket tenting around her. Eating breakfast–then, begging for his, morning walk. Back at the park. Morgan had said he could stop sending pictures, just to let him know.
Ariel had some commentary with Casey on the side, and he’d known that Casey had gotten off of work and that he’d gotten home, but the messages had stopped after Ariel had asked what he was going to make to eat. They’d finished most of their Thanksgiving leftovers.
When Casey didn’t answer, it was easy to assume that he’d fallen asleep; he’d mentioned that he was tired already. So, when Ariel got off of work, he picked up something to go for the both of them and dragged himself home. He had a key to Casey’s door and was ready to use it, only to find that–
It was unlocked.
Panic flushed through him because in that split second he realized that maybe Casey wasn’t texting because something had gone wrong–and if something had gone wrong, he was two inches of wood away from trouble.
Ariel’s heart was in his throat. His mind was racing.
He pushed open the door and stepped inside.
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Posted: Sun Dec 10, 2023 7:44 pm
Getting pictures of Harrison through the evening, night, and morning had been such a boon for Casey on an otherwise very stressful and tiring day. Night. Whatever it was. He wasn’t even sure what time it was that he clocked out -- after finally being told he could go home.
He tried to keep the complaining to a minimum for Ariel, whom he knew was working as well. And for Morgan all he could do was comment about how Harrison looked like she was having the time of her life. He would have responded more, but he was already risking getting written up for having a phone with him.
By the time he got home, he had every intention of letting Ariel know. He’d shut the door behind him, and had managed to kick off one shoe, but after sitting down to get the other shoe off, well…
He must have passed out.
He’d at least been smart enough to set alarms once he learned what time he had to be back to work, which was a little less than eight hours from when he was allowed to leave. So after taking travel time out of the equation, it was still only about six and a half hours to get whatever he needed to done.
Text Ariel and Morgan and make sure Harrison was okay. Eat something. Probably shower. Get coffee made. Take a nap.
Except his body clearly wanted the nap first.
So when Ariel found him, Casey was sprawled out on the couch. One leg was hanging over the edge, still with his shoe on. His phone had been in his hand, but had fallen onto the floor and under the coffee table.
His face was wet. But as Casey had awkwardly explained to Ariel before, it was just… because he was tired that tears sometimes fell while he was sleeping, and it had nothing to do with him being sad about anything. He certainly didn’t want Ariel to worry.
He didn’t wake up, but he didn’t seem to be in a very restful sleep, either.
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Posted: Sun Dec 10, 2023 7:52 pm
Was he dead?
Ariel’s heart beat like it was full of needles. He stared at Casey’s lifeless body and–
Oh, it breathed. He wasn’t dead.
The strength slipped from his body and he slumped where he stood, quietly breathing a sigh of relief. He closed the door softly behind him–and locked it. Well, if Casey was asleep…
Maybe Ariel could just stick around for a few moments to make sure he was okay. He was tired, but the rush of adrenaline gave him the strength to keep on. He quietly set the takeout food down. It was grilled cheese and hot dogs and garlic fries. Nothing fancy, but warm and crispy, and cheap. Ten dollars for everything was too good to pass up. His backpack went by the door, as did his shoes, and then he shuffled over to pull Casey’s shoe off and maneuver his leg back onto the couch. He put Casey’s shoes by the door, and his phone on the table.
It was a bit chilly in here, so he reached for the blanket and gently draped it over Casey to tuck him in under it. He wanted to wipe away the wetness on his face but he didn’t want to wake him up. He needed to sleep. Ariel could just put the food in the fridge and heat it all up again while Casey was getting ready for work again.
…Oh, but he should probably wake Casey up to make sure that he set an alarm..
With a small sigh he crouched down next to the couch and carded his fingers through Casey’s hair. He could go back to sleep right afterwards. Maybe he could even make his way to bed, too. It was probably more comfortable than being pushed into the armrest like he was.
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Posted: Sun Dec 10, 2023 8:30 pm
Sleep usually felt like such a chore to Casey. There was so much he could be getting done. He could be reading. He could be playing with Harrison. He could be texting Ariel silly memes he’d found that made him think of his neighbor.
If he didn’t sleep, he didn’t have to dream. Because all dreams ended horribly. Ah, he supposed if pressed that they would be considered nightmares then. But what was the difference really? Saying it was just a dream meant he could go about his day as though it never happened, instead of acknowledging that nightmares existed.
Even now, he was certain that this dream would end horribly. Something would happen and he would see the person he cared for most in the world at that moment torn away from him, one way or another.
Casey looked up at Ariel as he felt his fingers in his hair. He could see the concerned look on his face -- worried too. But Ariel was always worried, so his dream didn’t have to do too much to make it realistic.
Why was he so upset? Something horrible likely happened. So Casey shifted and easily repositioned himself onto his back so he could reach out and wrap his arms around Ariel to pull him close.
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Posted: Sun Dec 10, 2023 8:35 pm
The gesture was a bit surprising; Ariel was taken aback by the sudden embrace. He froze for a few seconds before he remembered how to breathe, and gently wrapped his arms around Casey. He moved to his knees so he could balance himself a bit better, and take the stress off of his calves and thighs.
“I’m sorry, you were dreaming,” he said after a moment. The explanation he’d gotten about Casey’s sleep-born tears was vague and confusing, but he hadn’t pressed the matter. “I didn’t mean to wake you up. You left your door unlocked, I just wanted to stop by. I brought dinner. Or, breakfast? Lunch…”
His voice faded. “Food. I was going to put it away.”
Ariel rubbed his back gently but never lessened the embrace. “I just wanted to make sure you set your alarm for work later. Do you want some help getting to bed or do you want to sleep out here?”
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Posted: Sun Dec 10, 2023 8:57 pm
All it took was for Ariel to freeze for Casey to realize… the reason why he thought he was still dreaming was because Harrison wasn’t right beside him. No, Harrison was with Morgan still. Whatever he thought he was dreaming… he wasn’t.
But Ariel had already moved to hug him back! And… and he’d brought him food. The door had been left unlocked? He thought he locked it… He promised Ariel that he would be trying harder! He didn’t want him to think that he was ignoring him or not trying hard enough!
“Thank you,” he blubbered once he was able to find his voice. It wasn’t very strong. And he felt weird about hugging Ariel now, especially since he wasn’t sure if Ariel wanted to be hugged but…
He needed it.
“I’m sorry,” he quickly apologized, his breath catching in his throat. “I-- oh… I don’t…” He paused to look for his phone and saw where it was on the table. Oh… oh right his alarm. Had he set it? He should check but…
He relaxed his hold so Ariel didn’t have to hug him if he didn’t want to! And -- oh no, there were tears on his face and -- he hadn’t remembered what he was dreaming about before, but wow, that was embarrassing.
But when he looked up into Ariel’s eyes, something finally broke, and he hid his face behind his hand as he let out a sob.
“I’m so tired and sore and hungry and people are so mean and I don’t want to go back,” he cried, muffled against his hand. He knew it wasn’t fair for him to say any of that when Ariel was working so hard, too. But he just really, really wished he didn’t have to go back to work so soon.
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Posted: Sun Dec 10, 2023 9:09 pm
Sympathy spread over his face immediately, and his the needles from earlier returned to his heart. There was a new ache, though. It hurt him to see Casey brought to tears by anyone. He drew him into his arms again. He could stay there for as long as he needed. “I’m sorry, Casey. I’ve got you. If you want to talk about what happened, I’m here. Do you want a back massage while you eat?”
He couldn’t make people nicer. He couldn’t promise that things would be okay. He wanted them to be. He wanted people to treat Casey nicely. He wanted his job to be easier. Maybe they should have asked Morgan about getting a job over dinner.
That was something for the future. He needed something for the present.
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Posted: Mon Dec 11, 2023 6:20 am
Oh… oh, Ariel was practically holding him now. It was both embarrassing and comforting and… probably not very comfortable for Ariel.
Part of Casey wanted to roll over and hide his face against the couch cushions, but he didn’t want Ariel to get upset or think he was trying to be avoided. He wasn’t! Casey was just embarrassed by this outburst. He’d tried so hard to keep his emotions in check, especially around Ariel.
But after his long hours of basically torture (although he already convinced himself that he was just being dramatic), he didn’t know how to hold it back any longer.
So he did his best to push himself up some more, to at least give Ariel a spot on the couch if he wanted it. And he did his best to wipe away the tears and to take deep breaths to calm himself and not get tears on Ariel. He didn’t want anyone to see him like this! What if it meant Ariel would think he was pathetic and decide there was way too much baggage that he was dealing with already to want anything to do with Casey?
“I’m sorry… I’m okay… just tired,” he promised, if only to convince Ariel that he was okay. He wasn’t. But he had already done enough damage that he feared it would be irreversible.
“I don’t know. I don’t want to whine. I’m lucky to have a job,” he mumbled behind his hand, still doing his best to wipe away the tears as they appeared. “But… you’re so sweet to bring food. Thank you. Did you eat? I don’t want to waste your time.”
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Posted: Mon Dec 11, 2023 8:31 am
Ariel didn’t immediately know what Casey was doing or where he was trying to go, but when a spot on the couch opened up, he slowly moved into it while keeping his arms wrapped around him.
“You’re not wasting my time. I was going to ask if I could sleep over here since Harrison’s away. I didn’t want you to be lonely. I haven’t eaten yet. But since you were asleep, I was going to surprise you and heat it up while you were getting ready for work so you didn’t have to worry about it. You can whine, Casey. Get it off your chest. You’ll get sick if you keep it all bottled up.”
And Harrison wasn’t here to listen or comfort him with her big, soulful eyes.
Ariel rubbed Casey’s back with renewed enthusiasm, but he was cautious not to be overwhelming or aggressive about it. He wanted to just squeeze the hurt out of Casey but he understood how impractical and impossible that was.
“It’s a shitty job. You deserve better. Is there anything I can do to help?”
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Posted: Mon Dec 11, 2023 8:49 am
“You were?” Casey gasped in surprise, which just made his emotions more frazzled. “I mean, yes! Please? Please stay with me.”
Wow. He knew he was being pathetic. He missed Harrison. He wasn’t used to her not being there. But he also wanted to be with Ariel. And if Ariel was going to suggest staying with him, well… that was definitely better than not-- except.
Casey didn’t pull out of Ariel’s embrace, but he reached over for his phone to check the time and let out a quiet sob.
“I have to go back in three hours. I have to catch the bus. Has it really been that long?” It must have been. He didn’t know the exact time he got home but he fell asleep pretty immediately.
“I was going to shower. But I should eat. You brought food over. That’s not much time for you to stay, so I guess I’ve wasted that time, too.”
He was trying not to panic, but the thought of having to go back was so stressful.
“They just… they keep all the hard tasks for me, and when I can’t do them they make fun of me. I can’t lift really heavy things. I’ve been trying, but I’m so sore now. I think I have bruises all over. But I don’t want to be fired or anything like that for refusing. I can’t complain because I know they won’t do anything about it. It’s one person against everyone else and I have no actual proof. I should probably at least wash my face. Or. No, I should eat first. No, it’s okay, you being here makes me feel better. I miss Harrison. Oh, I’m sorry, how was your night? Did you get off early or did you have to stay the whole time? Did they give you any food? They brought some food for us but uh… they didn’t tell me until it was mostly gone.”
He knew he was rambling, but Ariel said it was okay if he whined, right? He hoped Ariel hadn’t changed his mind and would tell him to shut up. Casey wasn’t sure his heart could handle it.
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Posted: Mon Dec 11, 2023 9:00 am
Ariel kept one arm around him and continued to rub his back, but he leaned back just a bit to give him a little bit of space. “Their food probably wasn’t as good as this. Why don’t you have a little bit now. I’ll put the rest away and I can heat it up before you leave or pack it to go.”
He had a bit more time between shifts and he didn’t mind putting in extra work to help Casey where he could–especially because his work was tedious but it was safe. No one bullied him. Well, over the phone, but that didn’t matter. It wasn’t a hard job.
They beat Casey up last night.
“You can wash your face while I’m putting it away, and then we’ll go lay down. We’ll get every ounce of sleep we can.”
He wished he still had his car. He didn’t miss paying for upkeep, or gas, or insurance, but if he had, Casey would have been able to sleep more and not have to stress about taking the bus. “We can look for other jobs, I’ll help. Or we can ask Morgan, if he was serious about helping you get somewhere else.”
They didn’t have enough apples and soup to pay him for what he’d already done, but Ariel was desperate. “I could see if there’s any openings at the call center. It’s not a great place to work, it’s weird hours. But it’s safe. People yell at you on the phone, but that’s the worst part of it and after a while you can just tune it out.”
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Posted: Mon Dec 11, 2023 9:44 am
All Casey could manage to do was nod. A couple times. Just to make sure Ariel knew he was listening. Knew he appreciated everything. He didn’t know what else to do other than listen to him, anyway. If he didn’t, he would just be miserable until it was time to go back to work and be miserable some more.
“Thank you,” he sniffled, still rubbing at his face. He didn’t like crying. He didn’t usually cry! It was a sign of weakness, and he needed to be strong so that people wouldn’t harass him more than they already did.
But with Ariel, it was easy to lower those walls and just let everything out. Ariel wanted him to do that, right?
Not wanting to make Ariel do more than he already was, Casey reached for the bag to set in his lap, and reached in to pull out the grilled cheese and hot dogs and garlic fries. He slumped a little as he relaxed more, but he did so in Ariel’s direction so he was leaning against him more, despite Ariel trying to give him space.
“This is perfect, thank you,” he said with another sniffle, but pulled out some fries to stick in his mouth before offering some to Ariel. And they were still warm!
“I’m sorry… I thought I was having a dream when I saw you. When I woke up. I’m sorry for worrying you. I’m sorry if I startled you. I’d missed you and I didn’t want anything to happen to you.”
Oh, maybe that was too much. He should probably just focus on eating and letting Ariel rub his back and eat with him.
“I think anything would be better than where I am now. I mean… the pay isn’t horrible, but. I don’t know how much longer I can last. I don’t know how you do it, being yelled at on the phone. That sounds so exhausting. You don’t deserve that. We should both sign up to watch birds and pet dogs with Morgan.”
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Posted: Mon Dec 11, 2023 9:52 am
When Casey leaned in a bit more, Ariel found himself scooting closer just so he could keep an arm wrapped around him. His hand had rested on his shoulder at one point, and then midback, and then it was resting on nearly his waist.
He accepted the fries with a smile, and though it was sad it was only because he didn’t like to see Casey suffer. The fries were delicious, though.
He chewed briefly but spoke around his mouthful, mindful not to be too unattractive. But Casey had been crying so he figured it was probably only fair to be a little human too.
“You don’t have to apologize for those things. I’m sorry for worrying you. Even if only in a dream. Thank you though, it’s very kind of you.” Another back rub, before his hand just rested again. “I’m sure that’s not all Morgan does. I bet a job at the gift shop there is much nicer than where you are now. I like my job, I like hiding,” he admitted. “But if things get better…”
He was allowed to be hopeful, right? He’d love to work with Casey. Even if they probably wouldn’t get to watch birds and pet dogs, Morgan made it look so easy. He seemed so free, so happy. Ariel wanted that. He wanted it for Casey more than anything else right now. “Maybe we can butter him up. Next time I’ll pick him up fries and a hot dog and grilled cheese, too.”
Morgan might have joked about it before but Ariel absolutely would bribe him if it meant Casey didn’t have to come home after a night of abuse and dread having to go back well before he had time to recover.
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Posted: Mon Dec 11, 2023 10:07 am
It was sweet, everything Ariel did to try and make him feel better. Casey could smile and be briefly distracted from the misery he would surely have to endure soon.
“Oh, does that mean you’re trying to butter me up? Bringing me fries and a hot dog and grilled cheese?” Casey quietly teased, as if he wasn’t sure if he was allowed to make jokes like that. It… it was a joke. Kind of. His heart fluttered strangely. And there was hope that Ariel was doing this with more reason than just being a kind neighbor and good friend.
“I think it’s pretty easy to butter me up, though. I’m very food motivated. And I’m a sucker for hugs and physical contact. Or just kind words. Those are good too.”
He was oversharing and he quickly tried to stop himself by shoving a bite of the grilled cheese into his mouth. He wanted to say that he liked Ariel’s arm around him. He liked when he held his hand and nudged his foot. But was that too much?
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Posted: Mon Dec 11, 2023 10:14 am
“Oh, good. Those last three are free so I can give you plenty of those,” he said softly. He almost leaned over to give him a kiss on the cheek but–no, what on Earth was he thinking? That was–okay, he needed to take a breather. He was not thinking straight. This was totally irrational for him. He was getting sloppy, and that was dangerous.
He didn’t want Casey to wind up in an uncomfortable situation where he could get hurt. Or worse.
Okay, calm down.
He gently rubbed his back again and reminded himself that they were friends.
Whatever his mind was doing, whatever his heart was doing, he needed to focus.
“And the food is pretty cheap, too. It’s good, but I like your home cooking more. I just didn’t think either of us were going to have the energy. Or time. If I was going to butter you up it would just be to ask if I could keep you company when you nap again, but I wasn’t thinking about that. I just wanted to make your day a little better.”
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